Hitched (Hitched #1)(48)

"I've brought the break up cure," she says, pulling out a giant bottle of vodka.

"I think we might need more than that," says Tate.

Vi nods knowingly and pulls out a second bottle.

"Are you trying to kill me?" I ask.

"Girl, you're killing yourself," says Vi, pouring us shots, and by shots I mean full f*cking cups. She hands me one. "Dr. Sexy isn't worth it."

You're wrong, says a part of me. The part that still thinks Sebastian is the greatest man in the world, and I'm stupid for leaving him. But I can't be with someone who's so ready to marry me, or so ready to be with someone else. I don't even know which it is, but I'm not ready to commit, and he deserves someone who is.

"Keep the drinks coming," I tell Vi.

She smirks and cuddles up next to me. By the end of the film, when the grandfather says, "As you wish," we're all teary eyed and drunk as f*ck. "You're not supposed to be sad," I say, my words slurring. "You're never sad."

Vi is crying so hard she gasps. "I broke up with Chad."

Tate and I speak in unison. "What?"

"I left him," she says in between sobs. "Oh shit. I'm sorry. I'm supposed to be cheering you up."

"Don't apologize. And don't f*cking lose it on me." I grab her drink and refill it, channeling Vi when I say, "Mr. Musician isn't worth it."

She chuckles, wiping her eyes and taking the drink.

Tate sighs. "Are there no f*cking gentlemen left?"

"That's the problem," says Vi. "He was too gentle."

Yeah. That could be a problem. But not with Sebastian—

I stop thinking and slap myself. Hard. On the face.

"What the f*ck are you doing?" asks Tate.

"I'm cutting out the bullshit. We need to go out. Now. And do something crazy." I grab their arms and pull them off the couch. "Let's go to a club." I make it two steps.

And collapse onto my comfy chair. "Fuck."

"Maybe tomorrow, sis." Tate and Vi fall back on the couch, Tate restarts The Princess Bride, and we pass out in a few minutes.

***

A knock on the door wakes me. My mouth tastes like dirt, and my head is pounding, but I force myself to stand up. Vi and Tate are still asleep on the couch, despite the loud banging. Lucky bastards. I open the door.

And see Sebastian.

Shit. My drunk brain forgot about him. If it hadn't, I wouldn't have opened the door for days.

He steps forward, reaching for me. "I got your package. I know you think you're not ready—"

"I'm not." I back away, because I need my resolve to end this, and the touch of his fingers will steal it. I don't even bring up Celene. I tell myself it doesn't matter, that this had to happen even if she hadn't been there yesterday. I'm not curious about why she was there. At least, these are the lies I feed myself. It almost works.

"Let me finish. I need you, Kacie. No matter what, I need you in my life. I would never ask you to give up your job. But I need to ask you to stay with me."

"I tried," I say, wanting to run into his arms. "But I can't be with you. Not now."

"Then I'll wait for you."

"Don't waste your time. I’m not going to change my mind."

"Kacie, it wouldn't be a waste."

I almost break into tears at that. "You need to leave," I say, starting to close the door on him.

He holds the door open, stopping me. His eyes are sad. "If you reconsider, let me know."

At that moment, I know he won't get over me. So I do what I have to. "I met your one condition. I spent the summer with you, and now we're done. Don't come over here again. Don't text me again. Stop messing up my life."

His jaw tenses. "You don't mean that."

I don't. But I can't say it. I can't say anything. So I close the door on him and let the tears flow.

***

For the next week, I bury myself in work. Joey has a friend getting married for the second time, and the party needs to be something new, so we're all going horseback riding. I will not think about Sebastian. I will not think about Sebastian. This has become my mantra.

We receive a referral from Dan, and I wonder if this is Sebastian's way of meeting me again. But I doubt it. He hasn't texted me since we broke up. I wish he had, but it's a stupid wish because I'm the one who told him not to. See, these kind of annoying thoughts are the reason I stay focused on Hitched and working out. Tate and I run every day, and every day he asks me how I'm doing. I say "fine," hoping that if I say it enough, it will be true.

Vi is going through her own emotional turmoil. Ever since her breakup with Chad, she's taken on more clients but doesn’t seem any happier.

"Is there any chance for you two?" I ask as we sip coffee at Starbucks one morning.

"He'd take me back," she says, picking the blueberries out of her blueberry muffin. "But I don't really love him, and I can't keep hurting him. It's more than just sex for him."

"I thought it was more for you, too."

"I wanted it to be more." She finishes the muffin and cleans her long manicured nails. "But some people just aren't right for each other, even if they're both amazing people."