Hidden Monsters (Volkov Bratva #4)(104)

Mishca had never been cruel, not to Lauren, but the look he gave her was colder than anything she had ever seen. “Leave it.”

But Lauren was undeterred. “It’s Luka, have you—”

“His name is Valon Ahmeti. A former enforcer for the Albanian Syndicate. One that plotted to kill me. That offense alone would have gotten him killed here.”

Lauren looked taken aback. “I don’t give a shit what his name was! He is my friend—”

“Zatknis’—Shut up! You don’t question me or what I do. Take her home, and if she f*cking protests, drag her there.”

Lauren reared back as though she had been slapped, her face flushing with the heat of her answering rage, but before she could utter a word, Mishca turned his back on her and entered the office they’d all been in. Klaus whispered something to Lauren, his hand at the small of her back as he led her away, Celt in tow.

Alex remained where she was, not knowing what to do, but she would try.

For Luka.

She would try for Luka.

Alex stood at the mouth of the office, watching her brother dig out a bottle of vodka, drinking straight from the bottle for several long seconds before he threw it, shattering it, raining glass and alcohol onto the carpet on the other side of the room. She didn’t know how long she had. For all she knew, they could be across the city, driving onto a private airfield. She knew that she couldn’t go up against them alone. She needed Mishca. He was the only way she could get Luka back.

“Mish—”

He raised his hand, not looking at her. “Don’t.”

“But you don’t understand,” Alex said, forcing the words out as they seemed to get caught in her throat. “I love him, more than I’ve ever loved anybody. And…and you can’t let them take him. I know what he did was…you don’t know him the way I do. He’s been there for me. He’s helped me more than you even realize. I’m begging you—”

“Go home, Alex.”

“Even if you’re mad, then you take it out on him here. Whatever. I don’t care, but do this for me. Do it because you love me.”

He finally faced her, eyes unblinking and angry. More angry than she had ever seen him. “I won’t tell you again.”

“I had a drug problem. I was getting high on anything that I could get my hands. Whatever Snow gave me—” There was a glimmer of recognition in his eyes, but Alex was too focused on what she had to say to question that. “—I didn’t care what I had to give him in return. If he wanted my body, he could have it. I didn’t care. Luka helped me. Don’t you understand? He stayed with me for three days as I suffered through withdrawals. He practically brought me back to life. When no one else was there for me, he was!”

Mishca flinched. He actually looked hurt by her admission. She hadn’t meant to hurt him in her confession, but it was too late to take it back now.

“I’m sorry.”

For a moment, she thought he was apologizing for not being there—not that he could have known much since she’d avoided him at that time.

“I’m sorry you fell in love with him. But we all answer for the lives we’ve led and those we’ve taken. Maybe one day you’ll forgive me for this.”

The pain in her chest was expanding, nearly consuming her as she choked on more tears. “If you let them have him. If you don’t bring him back, I’ll never forgive you, Mishca. Do you hear me? I will never forgive you.”

He didn’t shy away from her pain, her tears. He faced them with the same look of indifference that Mikhail had shown her so long ago.

“It’s already done.”





PART FOUR





Love in my heart is a cry forever

Lost as the swallow’s flight,

Seeking for you and never, never

Stilled by the stars at night.

-Sara Teasdale





43

____





Off and Back Again





“Oh, you’re just the cutest thing,” Alex cooed at the squirming baby, smiling when he gave her a toothless grin as he reached for the hair that had fallen over her shoulder.

He was a grabby little thing, loving to tug on anything he got his hands on And while the pain hurt more than it didn’t, she let him do it all the same. Sadly, she didn’t get to see him as often as she wanted, not since she had moved to Paris seven months ago, but that was just one sacrifice she had to make.

“Thanks again for babysitting, Alex,” Lauren said as she rushed around the room, packing her bookbag while simultaneously packing a diaper bag. “I know you’re not back for long and—”

When she made a move to put a bottle in with her textbooks, Alex gently took it from her.

“Don’t worry about it. Me and this little booger are going to have loads of fun, aren’t we?”

Making a funny face, she laughed in turn when he giggled, his little belly moving with the effort, but she lost that smile when he grabbed a fistful of hair and pulled.

“I won’t get out of class until six, but if you have plans, I can have Mish—”

“No,” Alex said, extracting her hair from his vice-like grip. “Totally fine. Just call me whenever you’re home and I’ll bring him by.”