Hidden Ink (Montgomery Ink #4.5)(18)

“Sloane…”

He ran his hands up her rib cage and stopped right under her breasts. “You need to tell me what to do, Hails. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You can’t hurt me,” she whispered, though they both knew that wasn’t quite the truth. But they didn’t talk about that. Couldn’t talk about that.

When he moved to cup her breast, she sucked in a breath. “Tell me what to do.” She didn’t feel any different than what he’d thought she’d feel like, but damn if he’d hurt her.

“You’re doing it. I’m not made of glass, Sloane.”

He leaned down and pressed his mouth to her temple. “You’re far stronger than glass, but I want to make this good for you.”

“I’m pretty sure it’s impossible for you not to.”

He kissed down her neck, and she tilted her head to give him better access. “I’m not going to make love to you for the first time against a door. The first time we’ll be in your bed.” He kissed her again. “Next time we can be against the door. Or on the table. Or in the shower.”

She let out a shuddering breath. “I take it you have this all planned out.”

“Not quite that, but I’ve thought about all of it.”

She tilted her head up to meet his gaze. “Me, too.”

He pressed his mouth to hers and pulled his hand away from her breast. As she wrapped her arms around his neck, he reached around to cup her ass in his hands and lifted her off the ground. She let out a little squeak along his mouth, and he kissed her harder. When he moved toward her bedroom, she wrapped her legs around his waist, her heat pressed hard against him.

Fuck. He wasn’t going to last long.

As soon as he got to her bedroom, he set her down and pulled away so he could study her face.

She bit her lip then tugged on the bottom of her shirt. “I…I’ve only been with one other person since the surgeries. I know you don’t want to hear about other men, but I wanted to make sure you know that you won’t be the first to see my scars other than my doctor.” She pressed her lips together. “You’ll be the second, actually.”

He ground his teeth together at the thought of her with another man but pushed it away as fast as he could. She was telling him this for a reason and he got it, but it didn’t mean he had to like it. From the hesitant way she moved, he had a feeling the * before him hadn’t done his job. Sloane would be damned if he’d allow that to happen again.

“Like I said, tell me what to do.”

“Just make love to me,” she whispered. With that, she pulled her shirt over her head and let out a breath. He could see the scars on her stomach, the port scars on her chest. The bra she wore covered most of her, but he could tell she’d had surgery.

He moved closer then put one hand around her back to the clasp of her bra. He leaned down and kissed her softly. When he undid the clasp, she moved her arms so the bra fell on the floor between them, tangling with their feet.

“It’s not pretty,” she said, her voice stronger than before. “But it took me a long time to realize I’m beautiful despite the scars.”

Sloane pulled away and looked into her eyes before dropping his gaze to her chest. His heart constricted at the sight of what had almost taken her from him.

“You’re beautiful with the scars, Hailey.” And that was true. Her surgeon had done a fantastic job, but even if they hadn’t been as precise as they obviously were, she’d have been beautiful.

Long scars bisected each breast and smaller ones marred the undersides. Parts of her skin had dimpled or scrunched together as the tissue and muscles underneath had been moved around during her healing.

“I don’t look like I once did.”

He tilted his head at her and nodded. “No one does. You look like a f*cking survivor, Hailey. That’s all that matters to me. You get that? You’re here. You’re here to be with me and that’s what I know. You’re alive, breathing, f*cking thriving. What more can I ask for? So you don’t have nipples? So what? You’re here.”

Tears filled her eyes and she reached up to wipe them away. He took her hand quickly before wiping her tears away himself.

“I’m not going to lie to you, Hailey. I won’t do that. I know you don’t look like you once did, but f*ck, I don’t either.” He pulled back and took off his shirt. Scars covered his back and sides, as well as most of his chest. Surgical scars, scars from cuts and abrasions, as well as a few burn scars dotted his skin.

“Oh, Sloane…” She reached out and brushed her fingers along the largest one—a mix of burn and jagged lines. “I didn’t know.”

He shrugged but put his hand over hers before pulling her palm so it rested over his heart. “I hid them like you hid yours. No reason for others to know and not know what to say, to feel. But you’re not anyone. You’re Hailey. We’re both scarred, but we’re here.”

And those he’d left behind weren’t.

But he wouldn’t think about that now.

Not when he had Hailey in front of him, bared in body and soul.

“Will you tell me about them?” she asked.

At first he thought she was talking about the men he’d lost, but then he knew she was speaking of the scars. Of course, they went together in a way, and he knew he’d have to tell her everything eventually.