Hidden Impact (Safeguard #1)(81)

“Not that I don’t appreciate this.” He paused as she held the cracker and meat, and took a bite. It took another minute to chew and swallow. Awkward, because he’d never had someone feed him before, and hot, because she took the rest of the loaded cracker and ate it herself. Food was good. “But I didn’t want you to think you still had to take care of us when you could be with your sister.”

She took one of the bowls and a spoon, nodding. “Who do you think raided the kitchen with me? But she ran out of steam quickly. Your medics say she’s going to be very tired for a few days yet. Dehydrated. They’ve put her on an IV and they say rest is the best thing for her. When she fell asleep, I needed to make myself useful.”

“You mean you stress-cooked.” He lifted his bowl and took a sip directly from it. Spoons were for chasing peas and fancy dinners.

She sipped at her soup and huffed out a laugh. “Exactly.”

“Thank you.” And he put every bit of sincerity he had into it. “This is delicious.”

He had no idea how she managed to put together these meals over and over again. From bare minimum supplies, no less. Hell, Harte had asked if they could challenge her to make MREs edible. She probably could, but it’d take some serious effort, even for her.

“I’m the one who can’t thank you enough.” Her words came out in a whisper and he saw a tear fall into the bowl in her lap.

“Hey.” He got the tray back on the desk and took her bowl from her, kneeling down in front of her so he could look up into her face. “No tears. She’s back safe and sound.”

“I’m not sad. I’m so incredibly happy. You found her and you brought her back,” Maylin whispered. “How can I ever repay you and the others?”

He cupped her face in both hands and used his thumbs to wipe away her tears. “Don’t cry. It kills me to see you cry. Every one of us was glad to do this for you.”

“You were hurt. You all could have been killed.”

It was the truth, and he didn’t insult her by making less of it. “This is what we do.”

She nodded into his hands. “I get it.”

Most people didn’t want a relationship after they realized what they’d be getting into. The waiting sucked. The time apart made people bitter. And it was too easy to pretend the awful things weren’t happening.

“I don’t want to hide this from you.” He tried to choose his words carefully. “Because I want us to have a future, and this is a big part of it. Truth.”

“Managing expectations?” Her question didn’t sound bitter. It was actually very neutral.

He turned his head to the side, searching for how to say things. “Expectations, I try not to have. More like informed decisions for both of us.”

“But you want there to be an ‘us’ going forward?” That sounded definitively hopeful.

“That’s an affirmative.”

She turned her head and kissed his palm. “I do too.”

Back to grinning like an idiot. “Yeah?”

“Yes.” She slid her hands up to his and pulled them away from her face, holding them instead in her lap. “So what are our choices?”

He liked the sound of that. “For starters, I’m going to be here a while longer, healing. Not going to hide it from you, but I messed up my back more this last mission.” He squeezed her hands in his before she could apologize. “If it didn’t happen this time, it would’ve happened farther away from home. So don’t you think it’s your fault.”

She was overthinking and about to argue again, so he stopped her the best way he knew how.

He kissed her.

Just one kiss, and he was on fire. It started simple, but then she yielded her mouth to him and he was caught up in the feel of her lips against his and her sweetness against his tongue.

When they both pulled back, it took a couple of seconds to remember where he’d been going with his line of thought.

“I know you’ve got a couple of choices.”

She nodded. “There’s a government representative here already. Harte introduced him to An-mei and me while she was awake enough to talk. He’s offered to extend protection to me if I go with her, or to assign a protection detail here with me until they’re reasonably sure I’m not a risk.”

For her own safety or to be used as leverage against An-mei.

“It’s a big decision.” He ached to know what she wanted, before he gave her his news. But he’d learned by now she liked to have the full picture before she made her choices. “I’ve got a few things for you to consider too.”

She watched and waited then, her clear green eyes unreadable.

Okay. Lay it all out there, Diaz. She’s worth it.

“I wanted you to know I’ll be right here.” He held her gaze steady with his. It meant everything for her to understand. “I’ll be training new recruits at this site, and wherever you go—if you call me—I will come to you. Doesn’t matter when or how often. I’ll make it work.”

He’d make them work, if she wanted it. Or he’d leave her to her life if she asked, no matter how badly it’d rip him to pieces.

Her eyes widened as his words sank in. “You’re not going overseas anymore?”