Hetch (Men OF S.W.A.T #1)(96)

Why is she here? What happened?

I don’t know how much time has passed. Seconds could be minutes, minutes could be hours. Time bleeds into nothingness, scenes run into each other.

“She’s not here, Liam.” My father steps in front of me, halting me from my search. Each time he comes to me now, I’m less shocked and more relieved.

“Well, why can I hear her?” I push past him, needing to find her. Something is wrong. I need to get to her. She needs me.

“Because she’s waiting for you. They’re all waiting for you.” My fast feet slow, and I turn to face him.

“What are you talking about?” The words don’t make sense.

“Hetch, I tried to tell you. You’re running out of time. You need to open your eyes. You have to go back. Your mom, Kota, Liberty, they need you. They need you to fight, son. If you don’t open your eyes soon, you’re not gonna see her again.”

“What do you mean?” The possibility of never seeing Liberty again burns so hot, I want to scream. “I don’t understand what’s happening here.” Part of me knows something isn’t right. I’m in some kind of alternate universe, talking to my dead father, but at the same time, it feels right.

“Son, where were you before you came here?” He takes my hand and starts walking us through the fog.

“I don’t know. I don’t remember.” I fight the darkness, trying to think.

“Think harder. Where were you?” My mind flashes to Sterling, and distorted images of the raid come crashing in.

Bodies moving. Guns firing. Pain searing.

“I-I died?” The realization hits me just as painfully as the first bullet I took to the neck.

I’m dead? Is this death?

“You died twice, Hetch. But they brought you back.” Relief floods my body. I’m not sure I’m ready to die yet. I’m not ready to leave Liberty.

“So, if I’m not dead, what is this place?” I look around, the scene changing before me. No longer are we surrounded by darkness, but a room, a hospital room. It’s quiet, but I can hear her.

“What’s happening?” My mind can’t keep up. I’m standing next to my father, looking down at Liberty holding my hand in a hospital bed.

“You’re stuck, son, in the in-between. And unless you wake up, it’s going to be too late.”

“Liberty?” I step toward her and reach out.

“She can’t hear you.”

I don’t pay myself any attention. My gaze is firmly locked on her. She looks tired like she hasn’t eaten in a week. She’s wearing one of my SWAT shirts with a pair of jeans, and even in this f*cked-up state, I want to reach out and kiss her.

“Is she the one?” My father’s question breaks my staring.

“I don’t know. I think she is, but how do I know for sure?”

“The fact you’re standing here asking me is a pretty clear indicator she’s the one, Liam.” He cracks a smile and disturbingly, it warms me. I can’t remember the last time he smiled.

Years. So many years ago.

“She’s the one, Dad.”

“Then you need to go back to her.”

“Tell me how. Tell me what I need to do.” I turn to face him, eager to be taught.

“You need to let me go.” A flash of pain crosses his face, but he quickly hides it.

“What? No. What if I’m not ready? What if I want to stay with you a little longer?” Logically, I know it’s not possible. I don’t want to be here, but the thought of leaving him is too hard. I just got him back.

“You can’t, son. It’s not your time.” He wraps his arms around me.

“I can’t leave you. I can’t do it.”

“You can and you have to. You need to wake up, Hetch. You need to fight.” I start to pull back, but stop when he holds me tighter.

I’m not sure who’s slipping faster this time, him or me, all I know is I need more time.

“Please, Dad. I love you. Don’t make me choose.”

“I love you too, son. But this isn’t a choice. I’ll always be with you. In here.” His hand moves to my heart. “But you need to fight now. You need to let me go and fight for your girl. Fight like you’ve never fought before. Open your eyes, son! Do it.”

Darkness fades and the numbness I’ve grown accustomed to these days takes me.





Thirty-Eight





Liberty





“So there’s this moment I keep coming back to.” I climb up onto the bed later that night when everyone has gone home, and the doctors have done their final rounds. “It was right after the day of our car wash. Do you remember it? We were having a quiet night in, just lying around and talking, and you stopped and looked at me. You looked at me like no man has ever looked at me before.” I run my fingers through his hair, careful not to jostle the monitoring cords. “It was like you were seeing me for the first time.” I take a breath, hoping to keep the tears away at least for a few hours. “It’s the moment I keep going back to. I want you to look at me like that one more time. Just one more time. That’s all I’m asking.” I lean in closer and breath him in. “Please, Hetch. You have to wake up.”