Hetch (Men OF S.W.A.T #1)(103)

“You love me?” I sound like a *, even to my own ears, but the truth is, I need to hear her say it so badly right now I’d be willing to beg for it.

“I’m so deeply, deeply in love with you, Liam, that the thought of you never knowing how much I loved you, broke me. It shattered me. The only reason I recovered was because you opened your eyes.” Her lips find mine in a kiss which stops me from replying. It’s not soft, or warm; it’s not even comforting.

It’s urgent and forgiving, and by the time she pulls back, I’m so far gone I can’t process if it’s her tears on my lips or my own.

“I love you, Liam Hetcherson. But don’t ever leave me like that again or I will hunt you down.” She wipes my face while I wipe hers.

I don’t answer her with a promise. Because the promise of something so big is too dangerous to lie about, especially with my job. Instead, I hold her against me and promise never to stop loving her. To never stop making her laugh, and to always come home when I can.





Forty-Two





Liberty





“Do you believe in heaven?” The question comes out of left field as we lie together in bed.

“Umm, yeah. I guess I believe there’s something bigger out there.” It’s dark in my room, but the low light of the moon filtering through the window shows me enough to see he’s on his back, not looking at me. Coming up on my elbow, I rest my head in my palm and wait for him to respond.

“I think I saw my dad when I got shot.” His gaze stays locked on the ceiling, but his hand moves to find my free one.

It’s been four weeks since Hetch came home, and while we still haven’t fallen back into old routines, we’re slowly getting there.

“You mean like in a dream?” I press on.

“Maybe.” He shrugs. “I mean it felt like a dream, but sometimes I think I remember hearing you talking to me. Asking me to come back.” He risks a look at me, concern etched into his brow.

“I’ve heard of things like this before. I mean you were out of it for a few days. Your subconscious can give you dreams like that.” I offer what I hope is some reassurance. I’m not saying he didn’t experience what he’s saying, I'm just trying to understand it.

“We talked about you. We talked about Mom and Kota. He told me I had to wake up.” He releases my hand to rub his face a couple of times.

“Are you freaking out about it?” I ask, wondering if I should be concerned. This is the first time he’s brought this up in four weeks. Maybe it’s bothering him.

“Not really. In the beginning, I was a little freaked out. But, since coming home, I’ve stopped dreaming about him. Before, I would replay the same dream over and over a couple of times a week. Now, it’s gone.”

“Well, maybe it was your way of finally letting go?” I whisper, hoping it’s true.

With Hetch being off work the last four weeks, it’s given him more free time to see Dr. Anderson. I’ve noticed a huge difference in him. From opening up more about his dad and his past, to barely flinching when I ask questions about him.

“Yeah, maybe.” He doesn’t sound convinced, but he doesn’t sound worried either. Not sure what to say, I don’t say anything and let the quiet fall between us again.

“I miss him.” He shakes his head and rolls to face me. “I hated that dream, but now it’s gone, I’m missing him.”

I scoot closer, placing my open palm against his heart. “It’s okay to miss him. I don’t ever expect you not to miss him. He’s your father, and you’re his son, regardless if he is here in the flesh or not. But what you need to remember”—I pat his chest, drawing his attention to his heart—“is that he is always in here.” Reaching up, I then cup his jaw.

“Have I told you I love you today?” I ask, changing the subject before he has time to dwell on it too much.

“Maybe.” His hand covers mine. “But I’m not opposed to hearing it again.”

“I love you, Liam Hetcherson.” I smile when he smiles. “You are the most amazing man I’ve ever known.” I kiss him before he can say anything. My sudden need to show him all the love he deserves is too strong to stop.

He deepens the kiss. The hand resting on my hip digs in and pulls me against him while his tongue thrusts past my lips and entwines with mine.

Seized by a rush of need, I press closer to him. My legs part and I lift one up over his side, rolling my hips against him. It’s probably the worst thing I could do. Since leaving the hospital, we’ve yet to have sex, the doctor giving Hetch strict instructions on no strenuous activity. Sex included.

“Wait.” I stop, realizing my mistake, but Hetch doesn’t obey.

“No, not stopping tonight.” His lips leave mine and travel down my jaw, and to my neck.

“The doctor hasn’t cleared you.” My words may be rejecting him, but my hips are still rolling against him, searching for friction.

“We’ll be careful.” His teeth sink into my neck, sending a ripple of goose bumps over my skin.

“Oh, God. We shouldn’t.” I fight a little harder.

“Please, baby. I need you.” His plea is followed by another quick bite to my neck.