Here and Gone(14)

Sean got to his knees, the grit burning the heels of his hands, and turned to see the pistol aimed at his head, only feet away.

‘Don’t move,’ Collins said.

He froze, watched as she reached down to grab the back of Louise’s T-shirt, haul her upright, put the pistol to her head. Louise stared at him, her eyes and mouth wide. The knees of her jeans torn, the skin grazed and bloody.

‘Do you want me to kill her?’ Collins said, her eyes glistening with tears and anger. ‘Is that what you want?’

Sean held his hands up and out, a gesture of surrender. He shook his head.

Collins let go of Louise, pointed her pistol at the ground. Her shoulders rose and fell as she fought for breath. She sniffed and wiped her face with the back of her free hand, leaving smears of dirt on her skin. ‘All right, then,’ she said, a quiver in her voice. ‘Let’s go.’

Sean helped Louise up, became aware of the sting of his elbows, the tears in his own jeans. Collins pointed back up the slope, and he took his sister’s hand, started the climb up toward the van. Collins trudged behind them. On the way, he stooped to pick up Gogo, handed him to Louise. She clutched the pink rabbit to her chest as she sniffed and pouted.

They remained silent as he hoisted Louise up into the van. He followed, careful of splinters from the plywood flooring. Once inside, Sean gathered Louise into his arms. She curled there in his lap and he began to rock her, the way Mom had done for him when he was scared. He turned his head, saw Deputy Collins watching him, saw the fear on her face.

She raised a cell phone, and Sean heard the synthetic whirr and click as she took a photograph.

Then she slammed the doors closed and terrible darkness swallowed them.





7


AUDRA PACED TO one end of the cell, turned, paced to the other. Turned again. And again. An hour had passed, maybe more, and her throat burned raw from screaming. She had shouted and yelled until her lungs ached, until her eyes watered.

There were no more tears, but fear and anger still chased through her mind, each threatening to take over, to shred the last of her sanity. It was all she could do to keep them in check, and exhaustion made her want to curl up on one of the bunks and disappear into herself. But somehow she kept upright, kept pacing.

When Whiteside had said those two words, she had stood still and silent for a few moments before asking, ‘What do you mean?’

Whiteside had said nothing, had simply turned away, back toward the door of the custody suite, through it, and locked it behind him. Her screams had reverberated between the walls until she could scream no more. Now all she had was forward motion, one foot in front of the other. That or go crazy in here. So she kept moving.

The rattle of keys froze her in place, her back to the door. She heard it open, heard the sheriff’s heavy footsteps on the concrete, then the door closing again.

‘You done hollering?’ he asked.

Audra turned, watched him approach the bars. ‘What did you mean?’ she asked, her voice a hoarse croak.

‘Mean about what?’ he asked, his face blank. Bored, even.

‘What you said about my children. Where are they?’

He leaned his forearm against the bars, stared back at her. ‘You and me are going to have a talk.’

She slapped the bars with her palm, hot pain in her bones. ‘Where are my children?’

‘But first, you need to calm down.’

‘Fuck you. Where are my children?’

‘If you calm down, then we can discuss that.’

She tried to shout, but her voice cracked. ‘Where are my children?’

Whiteside pushed himself away from the bars, said, ‘All right, have it your way. We can talk about it another time.’

He turned and headed back to the door.

Audra grabbed the bars and said, ‘No, please, come back.’

He looked over his shoulder. ‘You ready to be calm?’

‘Yes,’ she said, nodding hard. ‘I’m calm.’

‘All right.’ He took the keys from his belt as he came back to the cell, pointed to the bunk at the far end. ‘Sit down over there for me.’

She hesitated, and he said, ‘Go on, sit down, or we can talk another time.’

Audra went to the bunk and did as she was told. As he slipped the key into the lock, he told her to sit on her hands, and she obeyed. He pulled the sliding door back, stepped inside, and closed it again. He leaned his shoulder against the bars and stowed the keys away.

‘You calm?’ he asked.

‘Yes, sir.’

‘Okay. Now, I’m going to lay this out for you as best I can, and I want you to stay right there and take it easy. You think you can do that?’

‘Yes, sir.’

‘Good. Now, I’m going to talk with you about your children, and you aren’t going to like it. But even so, I want you to keep calm. Will you try real hard to keep calm?’

‘Yes, sir,’ she said, her voice a whisper she could barely hear herself.

Whiteside examined his fingernails for a few moments, a crease in his brow. Then he took a deep breath and looked her in the eye.

‘See, as far as I can remember, there were no children in your car.’

Audra shook her head. ‘What are you talking about? Sean and Louise, they were in the car when you pulled me over. The deputy, whatever her name was, she came, she took them away.’