Her Favorite Duke (The 1797 Club #2)(42)

Meg got to her feet slowly and walked over to the window. For a long while she stared out, and eventually she watched as Simon strode from the house and walked out over the rolling hills of the estate, away from the gate and down toward the woods.

She couldn’t help but make a frustrated sound in the back of her throat. Emma said nothing through it all, but at last Meg heard her close the parlor door. She turned and found her friend leaning back against the barrier, watching her intently.

“You have no one else to talk to about this,” Emma said. “I know that’s isolating when things are so…complicated. Will you tell me what is going on?”

Meg bent her head. “I’ve been reticent to discuss the situation with you because of your marriage to my brother. I know that you two don’t keep secrets.”

“You fear I’ll run to him, telling him anything I hear?” Emma asked.

“Wouldn’t you have to?”

“Well, I don’t recall that promise in the vows we made when we wed,” Emma said with a laugh. “I admit that we are honest with each other. We went through too much individually and together to be less than that. But honesty doesn’t require that I tell him every detail of every conversation I have. And I think James would want you to have a friend in this difficult place you find yourself. Only if I felt you were endangering yourself would I feel it was necessary to discuss our private exchanges with your brother.”

Emma’s words were comforting and Meg adored her so much. The idea of sharing the truth with a friend was tempting indeed.

Still, she was cautious as she said, “If it won’t put you in a difficult position.”

Emma moved forward and took her hand. “You and I are friends. I want to help. Talk to me.”

“Simon…” she began, and then it was like a dam burst and all her words spilled out, rushed together. “Oh God, Emma, he hates himself for what he did to Graham. What he did to James. What he did to all his brothers in their club. I know people see him as somewhat shallow, I think because he’s so quick to laugh or tease, but that isn’t true.”

“No, all those who truly know the man recognize his depth,” Emma said. “He feels deeply.”

Tears stung Meg’s eyes as she nodded. “He does. And right now he is bent on self-punishment. On keeping himself from happiness because he feels he doesn’t deserve it. I have no idea where that will lead us.”

Emma nodded slowly. “James has said something similar. That Simon’s personality is to punish himself for every wrong. But we know where this leads, Meg.”

“Where?” Meg asked, and she was terrified of the answer.

“A wedding,” Emma said with a small smile. “It’s all leading to a wedding, isn’t it? Let it lead there and see if that changes the situation.”

Meg swallowed hard. “But what if it doesn’t?”

“Then you’ll deal with that when that comes.” Emma squeezed her hand gently. “You can do it, I know you can. Things weren’t easy for James and me, either. You know that. But we’re here now. Happy. Strong in our knowledge that we love each other and that we will work to make our love stronger every day. It takes work and dedication and understanding, but it’s worth it. And I know you’ll commit yourself to the same path.”

“But will he?” Meg asked.

Emma blushed again. “He certainly seems to have a passion for you, if what I walked in on is any indication.”

Meg shook her head as memory after memory bombarded her, from the passionate kiss in the cottage on the night that had started all this to the heat of his touch the night before when he’d claimed her pleasure over and over.

“Passion,” she said with a shiver. “Oh yes, there is that. He allows that if nothing else and it’s the only hope I cling to, the only way to make him surrender a bit of himself to me.”

“Am I to assume you two have…” Emma waved her hand to indicate the obvious.

Meg smiled despite the difficult topic. Regardless of the fact that her friend’s passion for her own husband was obvious as anything, Emma was not comfortable saying certain things out loud. Even in private between friends.

Meg hesitated. “We truly didn’t do anything that night in the cottage when everything was blown apart, Emma. He kissed me once, but it went no further.”

“Of course you didn’t,” Emma said. “I never believed otherwise. I’m not sure James or even Graham did, either. But obviously things have now changed.”

“Simon and I have circled each other for years,” Meg whispered. “It was all friendship and light, but beneath the surface we both knew what we didn’t admit. That there were deeper feelings and longings that could never be pursued.”

“But now they can,” Emma said.

Meg nodded. “At least the longings. Simon refuses to address the feelings. But the moment we were engaged, he swept in and all that passion, all that desire, it overflowed.”

“And how do you l-like it?” Emma stammered.

“It is wonderful,” Meg admitted with a sigh. “So different than some describe it. There is no bearing or suffering through it. I am an equal partner in my pleasure and his. And there is so much pleasure.”

Emma smiled, and the knowing light in her eyes let Meg know she understood completely. “I’m glad of it. You deserve that kind of connection. And it is a good sign. If he allows that passion, it means he may one day allow the rest.”