Hell on Wheels (Black Knights Inc. #1)(73)

He didn’t need to go into detail. She was a smart girl. She could probably put two and two together and figure out just which conflict he was talking about.

Conflict.

That was another one of those ridiculous euphemisms. This one was supposed to describe the rape and mutilation of women, the hacking off of men’s hands and arms. The manipulation of children into killing machines.

“Anyway, U.S. forces had been tryin’ for months to catch this guy, get hard evidence against him, but he was brilliant and he managed to elude the traps our government, and a lot of others, laid for him. So it was determined to have him deleted. Grigg and I were tasked with the mission.”

Geez, he hadn’t talked this much in ages. It felt kinda…good. A purging of sorts.

“We weren’t given any time to prepare. Our target was on the move, and there was only one specific time and location for which Intelligence knew he’d be vulnerable. Sure enough, the guy appeared just where we’d been told he would. Only it wasn’t the arms dealer. It was his twin brother. An ethics professor at Moscow State University. A father of three. We didn’t find that out until later…”

He shook his head, feeling impotent rage even all these years later. “The Intelligence we received was bad, and we hadn’t had time to check it. Because of that, we ended the life of an innocent man. That’s when we knew it was time t’get out. Time t’find a job where we could determine, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the culpability of our targets.”

It felt like a benediction when she ran one slim hand through his hair, like he’d been touched by an angel and forgiven his past transgressions. He wanted to fall to his knees before her and pledge his soul, but all he could manage to do was stare at her and cling to the understanding in her eyes.

“You’re a good man, Nate,” she said, her voice low and firm. “You and Grigg, you’re both patriots, both honorable. There’s no shame.”

He swallowed past the ball of cold regret sitting like an iceberg in his throat. “Whatever you may think, Ali, whatever you’ve seen in the movies…there’s never any honor in takin’ a life. If you’re lucky, very lucky, there’s only justice.”

She smiled sadly. “And that’s what makes you so decent, Nate. So rare and special. You understand the value of life. You took no pleasure in your job, but you did it anyway. Out of duty, for the greater good. You’re exceptional.”

Right.

“Thank you for telling me,” she whispered, kissing him gently and for some reason he wanted to smile. He felt lighter suddenly, almost buoyant. Then she pulled back and grinned.

Uh-oh, he knew that look.

“So, since you’re in confession mode. Why don’t you tell me what Delilah said to you last night?”

He groaned. Hard to believe he’d just spilled his guts about Moscow, but admitting what Delilah said landed directly on his So Not Gonna Go There list.

“Come on. Spill it,” she demanded, swirling her little fingers through his chest hair until he wasn’t sure what was making him crazier. Her sweetly mindless ministrations, or the fact that it appeared as if it might be impossible to steer her away from this current course of conversation. “It can’t be good to keep so many secrets.”

“It’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.” He tried to catch her mouth to distract her, but she avoided his searching lips.

“I’ll get it out of you one of these days,” she vowed, gifting him with that impish grin he loved so much.

He growled and decided he’d just satisfy himself with nibbling on her shoulder. “Never gonna happen.”

“People always underestimate me,” she sighed as she tilted her head to the side, giving him better access to her throat, which he’d quickly learned she loved to have licked. He didn’t disappoint. “They think because I’m small I’m a pushover, but I’ve got something…Mmm.”

“Somethin’ mmm?”

“No,” she giggled. It caused her nipples to rasp across his chest, distracting him. He started moving his mouth in their direction. “Just mmm. As in, mmm, don’t stop, mmm, keep going.”

“Ah,” he levered her up until he could pull one sweetly ruched bud between his lips. He tongued it to the top of his mouth and listened to her make that uniquely Ali sound in the back of her throat. That whimper of sweet longing. The one that made him so hard he thought it was a wonder his dick didn’t explode.

She did it every time he took her to that invisible line where turning back was no longer an option, and it drained every ounce of blood he had straight into his prick.

“Nate?” she asked as she threaded her fingers through is hair and held him tight against her breast.

“Hmm?”

“Can I be on top this time?”

Her nipple popped free of his mouth. “Sugar,” he told her between nipping kisses trailing toward her other breast, “y’can do anything y’want.”

“Even if I want to ride you slow and steady for an hour straight?”

Sweet lovin’ Lord. He’d said it before…the woman was going to be the death of him.

“I’ll do my best to accommodate you,” his voice was harsh, sounding like it’d been run through a blender.