Heartbreaker (Unbreakable #1)(84)

Darren just sat there, defeated. I got the sense he wanted to stay there—punish himself.

Before he had a chance to move or reject me, I rounded the table and wrapped my arms around him. He didn’t fight my hold. Instead, he let out a long exhale.

“I’m so sorry, Darren.”

In my embrace, his breaths grew deeper. My arms expanded, then contracted, in ever-widening circles.

“I can’t do this.” His voice had gone so quiet, I almost didn’t hear him.

“Yeah, you can.” I squeezed him harder, hoping my strength would seep through. “We can.”

With a headshake that filtered down to his shoulders, he broke out of my hold. “No, I can’t.” He stumbled off the barstool, distancing himself a good couple of feet from me before he looked up. His expression twisted into something tortured by the time his eyes met mine.

“I can’t do…us.” The barest whisper made it from his lips.

My heart slammed into my throat. I couldn’t find my next breath as tears welled in my eyes.

His teared up too. He pinched his shut and turned away from me, griping the edge of the worktable. “I let her down, Kiki. I wasn’t there for her.”

He’d been at my party. That he’d thrown for me. To save me—and he’d almost lost her.

The world spun off its axis. I gripped my section of the table edge trying to hold on. Finally, I sucked in a breath to keep from passing out. But the air burned going in.

Everything from my skin to my soul ached.

“She almost died.” His tone held somber finality. Like that horrifying truth had become his death sentence.

“You couldn’t have prevented what happened to her tonight.”

“You don’t know that.”

I didn’t. And I wasn’t selfish enough to kid myself that I knew best in their circumstances.

“So you’re just going to shut me out?” My voice sounded thready.

“I never had any right to let you in.”

“But you did!” The anguished roar bounced off the concrete floors, echoed from the walls. A sob tore free as I tried to hold it together. Tears streamed down my face. “You were—” The words got stuck in my throat. “You were only supposed to be a one-night stand.”

“I’m sorry, Kiki. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.” He didn’t move. Just stared at the table.

“But it did.” I closed my eyes, unable to believe what was happening.

“It was my worst nightmare. Taking something for myself…then having it cost Logan.”

“You didn’t take ‘something.’ You took someone. You took me.” I opened my eyes and glared at him.

Finally, after a long shaky inhale, he glanced at me. “The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you.”

“You didn’t hurt me. You are hurting me. Right now.” I wrapped my arms around myself, pinching my eyes shut as I tried to fend off the pain.

Heart shredding, I curled up into the chilling emptiness of my mind, even as I willed him to see that I was worth it. Just as much as Logan was worth protecting and fighting for, so was I.

Warmth wrapped around me, his powerful arms banding around my body. And in that heartfelt gesture, I lost it. My head fell against his chest and my shoulders shuddered as gut-wrenching sobs racked my body.

Long seconds later, when it began to subside, I gasped for breath, only to have it all crash into me again.

My lips started to tingle from hyperventilating.

His measured breaths were labored, forced. “Please, baby. I’m so sorry.”

I hiccupped. “Stop saying that.”

“But I am.”

“Doesn’t change anything.” Bitterness clipped my accusation.

He let out a heavy sigh. “No.”

“You said we could only be just friends.”

He let out a sardonic laugh. “We should have listened to me.”

I pressed my palms to his chest, pushing away from him to meet his gaze.

Unshed tears glittered in his eyes.

Mine filled anew as my voice fell to a whisper. “You made me fall in love with you.”

He stared down at me, brushed a tear from my cheek as one of his finally broke free. Then he sucked in a deep breath. “I know, baby. I know. Me too.”

My next breath kept catching as I battled to fill my lungs. “Great. So now what? You saved me from homelessness. Now you’re abandoning me.”

“Not abandoning. Just…I can’t do us right now. It’s…it’s too much. For now.”

After the crushing shock of it all, I gradually began to see his side. I got it. He’d said from the beginning that we couldn’t be together. His reason had been that it was complicated.

It was now more complicated than ever.

I clung to him, fisted my hands into his shirt at his lower back. I didn’t want to let go. After an unsteady breath, I sighed. “Not sure I can be ‘just friends’ with you.”

I felt a slight pressure on the top of my head. Like he’d rested his chin there. “Me either.”

So there it was. We were nothing.

For now. Those temporary hope-filled words finally filtered into my brain.

“You need to sort things out.” Maybe he only needed a few days to get a grip on things.