Heartbreaker (Unbreakable #1)(52)

“…don’t know what to do.” Logan paused. “I like him. I mean really like him. But I’m not ready for that. Not yet. It doesn’t feel right.”

The hair on the back of my neck raised. No him better be pressuring you to do anything, Lo.

“Trevor isn’t just a guy.” Kiki tilted her head. “He’s a senior? So he’s what, seventeen?”

Trevor. That’s the punk’s name. The one Logan had sworn needed no condoms—no sex.

“Eighteen.” Logan leaned to the side, then dropped an empty bottle into its carton with a clink.

Kiki gave a hard nod. “Not just a guy. A hormonal guy. Guys in high school think with their dicks. It’s impossible for him to understand.” She tapped Logan’s temple twice with her finger. “He has no blood up here to think with.”

Listen to Kiki, Logan. Guys are dicks.

Logan adjusted, facing Kiki more fully. “I just wish I didn’t like him so much. Sometimes I think the heavier depression was better. I was lost in a huge haze that I couldn’t see out of. But at least I wasn’t up and down like this, worrying if he’ll like me if I push for us to wait.” She let out a heavy sigh. “I think about him all the time.”

“Wait.” Kiki’s voice had a stern edge.

Yeah. Wait.

“Then what? How will I know?”

Kiki’s gaze dropped and she stared at some point on the roof. “Hell if I know. I made the mistake of not waiting. I liked a guy so much in high school. I thought when he started paying attention to me that he liked me. Instead, I think it was more I wanted him to like me, accept me. With everyone in school snickering behind my back, and then him suddenly listening to me, paying attention to me, I thought someone finally got me. And it wasn’t just any someone. It was Kyle, the one guy I’d been crushing hard on.”

Kiki shook her head. “Idiot me didn’t suspect that maybe he noticed me because I stared at him every chance I got. I was the girl blushing and turning away when he’d look up and catch me staring.”

Logan leaned forward, edging more into Kiki’s space. “What happened?”

Yeah. What happened? Was Kyle the guy who spooked you?

“He said he liked me. A lot. And he made it a point to tell me it was because I was different.” Kiki turned now, crossing her legs underneath her.

I blew out a tense breath, worried as f*ck that the two most important women in my life were both sitting too far out on the edge of a five-story building. My heart jammed into my throat as I began to obsess about the fall. A deadly fall.

This building takes things.

With a hard swallow, I forced the lump back down. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, then opened them. Kiki and Logan were fine. They didn’t seem bothered by the height.

If they aren’t worried, I shouldn’t be.

“He met me every day at lunch for weeks,” Kiki continued. “We went out to a couple of movies. Bowling once, just him and me. Then he asked me to prom. And I lied to my parents, saying I was going by myself. I didn’t want them to meet him. Which was weird, because I shared everything with them. Cade and my sisters didn’t even know about him.”

Logan nodded her head. “I get that.”

That bothered me. Knowing Logan would want to keep anything from me. But that she shared her issues with Kiki helped. Maybe Logan needed a girl to talk with. I let out a relieved breath, grateful that Logan had felt close enough—safe enough—with Kiki to open up to her.

“Anyway, I told my parents I was staying at a friend’s house. We really went to a hotel room. We didn’t even stay at prom an hour. What I didn’t know until that point was that I was the main event for him.”

“Were you a virgin too?”

Kiki nodded. “He told me he loved me. I believed it, because I loved him. I had no idea at the time that I wasn’t in love; I was infatuated.”

“You had sex?”

Kiki paused, taking a deep breath. “Eventually. That night I had my first kiss. My first attempt at a blow job. My first sex. Second sex. And before we left in the morning, another blow job under his direction, then my third sex. He dropped me off at the curb in front of my house.” She paused, then took another breath. “Didn’t call me after that.”

“Motherf*cker,” I bit out under my breath, scowling.

“Oh, wow. That’s horrible.” Logan crossed her arms over her middle, hugging herself. After a long silence, she sighed. “Trevor told me he loves me.” Her voice hushed.

“Look, I’ve never met Trevor. Maybe he’s one of the rare ones. How long have you two been seeing each other?”

“Define seeing.”

Yeah. I leaned closer, glad Kiki asked every question I would have.

“Just hanging out in my room. Or at school, in the music room.”

“How long have you been ‘hanging out’?”

“’Bout a month.”

“Wait, Logan.” Kiki dropped her head down, then glanced back up. “If he really cares about you, he will wait. If he won’t, then he doesn’t. Real love doesn’t need sex.”

“How do you know?”

Kiki’s expression changed, her face relaxing. The corners of her mouth lifted into a smile. “Because I’ve had sex. Not a ton of it, but enough to know all I’ve ever had is ‘sex’ with guys.” She took a healthy pull from her beer.