Haze(58)

"Grey Poupon?"

"I have that," she says with a horrible English accent. "You're welcome to eat it by the spoon if you like."

I cringe. "You don't eat it by the spoonful, do you?"

"I hate mustard." She rolls over, pulling her hand along her face to move her hair. "It was Cassia's, my roommate's. It's not even mine."

"What would you like to eat? I can order something in."

"Pizza." She taps my chest with both her hands. "Let's have pizza."

***

"Why haven't you told anyone?" She chews the last bite of her slice. "Have you considered talking to your mom about it?"

I've never thought about talking to anyone about it, especially my mother. It's a subject that I've kept hidden inside of me for most of my life. At the very least, since I was a teenager when I sensed what was happening.

"My mother's affairs are her own." I wince at my own choice of words. "I don't know what good would come of it if I confront her."

"You just told me that you know, for a fact, that she cheated on your dad with at least two men."

"I also know, for a fact that my father cheated on my mother with as many, if not more women."

She swipes a paper napkin across her lips. "It's really f*cked up. They made vows. They promised one another."

"There was always a lot of discontent in their marriage," I say softly. "They were always arguing. There was so much back and forth that it was actually a relief when they decided to divorce."

She leans back against the headboard of her bed. "Do you ever think they regret it? Do you think they still care about each other at all?"

I love this part of her. It's hopeful and na?ve. She may have lived through many difficult things within her own family but she's never been touched by the volatility of a relationship like the one my parents have.

"I think my mother still loves Roman, my father, in a sense," I say coolly. "There's still something there. She was very upset when he got engaged."

"I read that his fiancé called it off." She pushes the pizza box towards me. "You should eat more."

"I'm full." I slam the box shut.

"If I ever get married, I want it to be forever." She looks across the room at the candles which I'd blown out hours ago when she first fell asleep. "I know that's silly to say, but it's my dream. It's one of my dreams."

I lean forward to graze my lips across her bare knee. "It's not silly if that's your dream, Isla."

She pinches the bridge of her nose, her eyes shuttering for a moment. "I wanted the crop to be for just you and me. The collar I was wearing too."

I swallow back my emotions. "I understand."

"I know there are others." She closes her eyes again. "I didn't want to be just one of them."

"There are no other women in my life." I rest my chin against her knee. "You could never be like anyone else."

She glides her hand over my forehead. "Thank you for tonight. I want more."

"We'll do whatever you wish, Isla, whenever you wish."

Her hand stops on my cheek. "Was it special, Gabriel? Did it feel as special to you as it did to me?"

"It was everything to me. Everything," I say before I kiss her.



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CHAPTER FORTY-THREE


Isla




"I quit." That felt better than I ever imagined it would.

"Sure."

No, just no. Fight me on this Cicely. Get mad. Give me something. Throw me a f*cking bone.

"Sure?" I round the counter so I'm facing her directly. "What do you mean?"

She shrugs her orange fabric colored shoulder. "You quit. I get it."

I stomp my foot. This isn't happening. I need some satisfaction here. "You're not upset at all?"

"Are you asking if I'm going to miss you, Isla?"

I'm not asking that, am I?

She looks down at a stack of papers in front of her. I follow the movement as her shaking hands scatter the papers about before she pulls them back into a pile.

"What's wrong?" I reach forward and grab her wrists. "Tell me what's going on."

Her shoulders stiffen. "I saw Lance last night."

"Lance?" I try to remember if she ever mentioned a Lance before. No, there's no way. I'm sure I would remember that. "Who is Lance?"

"You know who he is."

Apparently she did mention Lance and I was too awestruck by her choice of wardrobe that day that I zoned out. I'm going to go for the obvious. "Is he the man you loved?"

She nods quickly. "He came to see me. We went for dinner."

Somehow we've become confidantes since I quit my job twenty seconds ago. "Did it go well?"

I'm greeted with a loud sniffle. "He wants to get back together."