HARD KNOX(4)

“Money? Why?”

“Because you helped us,” she said.

I walked to the doorway and laughed. “No. I’m not taking that. I never do this kind of thing anyway. You caught me on a good day. Keep it. Get some pizza or something.”

I looked back at Ana and winked.

I felt f*cking great when I left.

And meeting Ana wasn’t the only memorable thing about that night. My old man came home wearing a new leather cut. He had gotten himself patched in to the motorcycle club. They were called Reaper’s Bastards MC. I asked him if I could wear the thing and he gave it to me. I hurried to my room and put it on.

I looked damn cool in it.

I had the muscle, the balls, and the will to make it work.

“You f*cking like it, huh?” the old man asked, standing in the doorway, arms folded.

I saw he had some fresh ink on his forearm too.

“I like it,” I said. “I could make this work, Pop.”

“Why don’t you get back to school and finish first.”

“Fuck that. I’ll get booted in a week. I don’t tolerate bullshit.”

“Yeah, well, I’m getting tired of tolerating you living here for free. Give me that cut back.”

I gave it to him and he grabbed my shirt. He pulled me close and stuffed the leather cut in my face. “Listen here, son. Everything in life we earn. You f*cking quit, at anything, and you’re dead to me. I earned this cut through shit I’ll never talk about. But this is mine now. You want to be part of this? Earn it.”

The old man tossed me backwards and put his leather cut on. In that moment, he looked twice my size.

So you know what I did that night?

I did pushups until I couldn’t move. I did crunches until I couldn’t breathe. I lifted until I dropped the weights. Then I topped it off with a long ass run. I was going to become something greater than my life and family.

By the time I got back home, Ma was back from work. She and the old man were fighting over his new career choice. Typical.

I stole two more smokes from my grandmother and was out back enjoying them when I heard the clink of the gate. I turned my head and saw Abby crossing the lawn. I was hoping for Ana.

She had a plate in her hand.

“Knox?” she asked.

“That’s me,” I said.

I was taller than her and she looked afraid to be near me.

“I brought you some leftovers,” she said. “A couple slices of pizza.”

“Oh. Nice. Thanks.”

I took the plate.

“Mind if I have a drag?” she asked.

“Yeah, sure.”

How about that f*ckery? A middle aged adult woman asking me for a smoke. Usually I got the fifth degree that smoking would stunt my growth and kill me or some shit. The rate I was growing, I’d be over seven feet tall when I finished up. So a few smokes here and there didn’t threaten me.

Abby took a drag and smiled. “I quit two years ago. Jack insisted.”

“Well, it’s a hard habit to kick,” I said.

Abby laughed. “Yeah. I better be careful here.”

She took another drag. Goddamn, she looked sexy doing it. I pictured her naked, us in her bed, she having a smoke after I got done f*cking her.

Then I thought about Ana and I chased that shit out of my mind right away.

“Sorry about everything,” I said. “Your husband and all.”

Abby shrugged her shoulders. “I’m not going to have that conversation with a teenager. Sorry, Knox.”

“Then where is tonight going?” I asked.

Yeah, a little douchey and flirty, but f*ck it. If Abby wanted to fool around, I was game.

Abby laughed again. “I’m going to take the cigarette and enjoy it at home.”

“Sure. My homecoming gift to you.”

“Right. I didn’t just come over to give you pizza, Knox.”

“Again, what do you want?”

Abby blew smoke from the corner of her mouth like an old pro. She then looked me dead in the eyes. “Stay away from Ana. This is not where I want to live. This is not what I want for her. The last thing I need is some thug like you to get into her head.”

“Oh, trust me, I wasn’t hoping to get into her head.”

Abby wound up and cracked me across the face. “Stay the f*ck away from my daughter.”

She turned and stormed away, getting eaten up by the darkness.

I touched my cheek. It throbbed. I looked up and saw Ana’s bedroom light was on.

I sat down right there and ate the two pieces of pizza. I had the second cigarette.

And that was how the day went… the day I met the woman of my dreams. The woman who would raise hell in my heart. The woman who would end up carrying our first child. The woman I would forever die for… just to make her f*cking smile one more time.





chapter three


(ana)



NOW



I touched the corners of my eyes and sucked in a deep breath.

Where the hell did time go so fast?

I asked that question in my mind because I learned a while ago that talking to the gravestone didn’t do a thing. If I did, my mother would have been back with me by now. Our relationship after my father left was nothing short of disastrous, but having her die this young from stupid cancer felt cruel. My father even had the nerve to send flowers with a card from him and his new wife. He couldn’t even show? Couldn’t even be there for me?