Guardian Ranger (Shadow Agents #2)(35)

Because she didn’t know the secret guilt that he carried. If she did, Sydney would never let him close to her again. He didn’t answer her, but he did back away.

Her hands fell to her sides. “Will he always be between us?”

The question was like a punch to his gut.

“He’s gone, Gunner. As much as that truth hurts us both...Slade is gone.”

Because he’d left his brother to die in a jungle, seen him get taken down by gunfire that ripped into Slade’s chest. But I didn’t get him out of there. I got Sydney out.

Slade’s grave was a jungle in the middle of Peru. Slade had never come home, not even in death.

“Why is it me?” Gunner rasped the question when he’d meant to remain silent.

Sydney blinked at him as if lost.

But she couldn’t be lost. The suspicion that he had ate at his soul. “When you look at me, do you see him?” Was that what she wanted? A substitute for her dead lover?

Her indrawn breath was almost painful to hear. “Bastard.”

He was. In every sense of the word.

“I’ve moved on, Gunner. It tore me apart, but...I. Moved. On.” Her chin was up. Her shoulders back. “I let his ghost go. Maybe it’s time you learned to do the same.” Then her phone rang, vibrating in her pocket. She turned away, yanking it from her pocket. “Logan?” A brief pause, then, “Yes, we had to seek shelter in a shack on the south ridge.”

Gunner ran a rough hand over his face. That had been too close for him. Far too close. Another few seconds, and he wouldn’t have been able to pull away from her.

Another few seconds, and he wouldn’t have cared about the secrets that hid in his heart or the guilt that ate him late at night.

Another few seconds, and he’d have taken her.

But he’d held strong. He could keep his control. He’d protect her, always watch out for her, just as he’d sworn to do.

Anything else wasn’t possible. Even if he had to keep being the bastard who held Sydney at arm’s length.

Sometimes you can’t have the one thing that you want most.

Because you knew, deep down, that you didn’t deserve that one thing.

*

SUNLIGHT STREAMED THROUGH the blinds, faint streaks of light that shot across the bed, and slid over Jasper’s body.

And the body of the soft woman in his arms.

He didn’t move when he first woke, too content to keep holding Veronica. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d just held someone. Maybe because there wasn’t a memory.

She was different.

And he was lying to her.

Hell.

The truth would come out, sooner or later. The truth would always come out. When he brought down her brother and the EOD agents took Cale away, what would he say to Veronica then?

Sorry about Cale. Sorry about lying to you. But, hey, maybe we can still hook up? The sex was incredible.

It was more than just the sex. More than just pleasure that he’d lose if he lost her.

She’s more than I thought. She’d slipped under his guard. Strange, when he should have been the one guarding her.

“Why do you look sad?”

His body tensed. He hadn’t even realized that she’d been awake. But his gaze rose to her face and he found her stare on him, seeing into him as few others had done.

“I’m worried about you.” That was true, even if there was more involved. Worried about her safety, worried about losing her.

“Why? You’re here to keep me safe, right? The big, bad ranger.”

She made him smile. He bent and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “You’re right—that’s why I’m here.” His smile faded. To keep you safe and to bring down your brother. Jasper cleared his throat. “We should head back to the main house. See if Wyatt has any more information for us.”

She nodded and slowly pulled away from him. She sat up on the side of the bed, giving him a perfect view of her back and its elegant curve. “I don’t regret anything that happened,” she told him, and looked over her shoulder. “Just in case you were curious.”

He rose slowly. The sheets bunched around his waist. “Remember that.” His knuckles slid down her spine. Her skin was so smooth. She sucked in a little gasp when he pressed a kiss to the base of her back.

Never another like her.

He lifted his head. Rolled away to his side of the bed, then stood. “We’ll head back to the house, check in with Wyatt, then start searching the rest of the property.” Though he was curious about the progress that Sydney and Gunner might have made. They probably had been caught in the storm, too. But the team would be back in action soon.

He grabbed his jeans, jerked them on and yanked his shirt over his head. He heard the rustle of Veronica dressing behind him, and he just had to turn and enjoy the view.

A virgin. That news still shocked the hell out of him, but it also...made him happy. No one else had ever seen her eyes go blind with pleasure. No one else had heard her sweet gasps when her climax hit.

“What is it?”

She’d caught him staring at her.

Clearing his throat, Jasper told her the truth. He figured she deserved a truth from him. “You’re beautiful.” And dangerous to me. So very dangerous.

A flush of heat filled her cheeks, and then a warm smile spread over her lips. “You’re pretty gorgeous yourself.”