Going Long (Waiting on the Sidelines #2)(17)

Reed called Thursday night after practice, during his drive to his dad’s, and spent most of our conversation venting.

“I just don’t get how Jason and I are related. I mean, how hard is it to drive dad to a few appointments, make him dinner? Hell, all he has to do is heat the shit up, Rose does the actual cooking,” Reed said, his stereo blasting in the background and the wind whipping in the phone from the open windows of his Jeep. “Sorry, I know I’ve been complaining for like 10 minutes, but I just don’t get my douche bag brother. Everyone loves him, and it disgusts me.”

I mostly listened. I had only met Jason once or twice in passing introductions. He’d spent most of his time in New Mexico. I was actually a little nervous about spending more time with him over the weekend, fearful that if Reed found him so deplorable, I would find him downright threatening. I got the distinct impression that when the gene pool divided between the two Johnson brothers, Jason was mostly Millie, and Reed was a lot more Buck.

“I’m sorry, I’ve been yapping this whole time. You haven’t even had a chance to tell me about your day,” Reed asked. My day was honestly uneventful, and the only thing on my mind was how I was going to open up to him about this pregnancy, my emotions still not ready to face the questions that came barreling at me once that little fact was out in the open. And this conversation certainly wasn’t going to happen over the phone.

Suck it up, Nolan. Keep pretending. “It’s okay, you’re allowed to be irritated, and I’m glad you can talk to me about your frustrations. My day was pretty boring, so you’re not missing much.”

“Noles, every day I’m not with you, I’m missing a lot,” he was sincere, and when he said things like that, it made my heart race. I believed him. I just hoped he’d still feel the same and say those same words after we talked this weekend.

Reed talked a little more about Jason and his dad’s leg. He said his father would be in the cast until the holidays, but that he should start to be able to get around after that. Rose was coming to stay at the house to help out, too, and Reed was hopeful that Jason wouldn’t stay the entire time. I didn’t want to tell him, but I was pretty sure Jason loved being in charge, and I wouldn’t put it past him to break his father’s other leg just to hold onto the job a little longer.

I let Reed go as the sun was setting, promising to call him before I left to come home in the morning. Most of my dorm residents were out partying at the nearby apartment complex—where the campus rules didn’t apply. Thursdays were more like Fridays around here, with most of the classes wrapping on Thursday afternoons.

I took advantage of the peace and solitude and hauled my bag of laundry down the hall so I’d have clean clothes for the weekend. I kicked back in the laundry room for about three hours while I put two loads through wash and dry cycles. I was able to finish my poetry reading and even made my notes for our class discussion on Monday. I was determined to pull my Bs back up to As—even if my grades didn’t matter after this semester. “Push those thoughts back down, Nolan,” I told myself.

It was close to 11 p.m. by the time I finally got everything folded and packed and was settled in my bed for the night. I checked my phone one last time and found a short text from Reed.



See you tomorrow, Princess.



That was it, but it was enough. I closed my eyes and fell asleep quickly for the first time in days.



The clock read 3 a.m. when my eyes flashed open. I was suddenly and completely alert, but I had no idea why. My pulse was pounding, and I stilled my breathing, listening for a noise. Something must have startled me. I watched the small line of light that marked where my door met the floor, studying it for foot traffic or a shadow, but there was no one outside. Deciding it must have been a dream, I threw my covers off and slid sideways from my bed. That’s when I noticed the blood.

My pajama bottoms were soaked, and I could feel dampness on my sheets. Fully awake with adrenaline, I flipped on the light next to my bed to understand. I was bleeding, and badly. I raced to the bathroom and pulled my clothes off, still trying to understand. How could I be bleeding? I checked for more blood, and it was heavy.

No, no, no. I was so scared something was wrong. I was now more than two weeks late, so something had to be wrong with me. I wrapped a towel around my body and went to my desk to grab my phone. I needed Sarah.

I dialed, not even thinking what time it was. When she answered, I realized. “Hello? Nolan?” she whispered groggily. “What the fu…”

“Sarah, please come. Come right now. I need you, something’s wrong!” I was shaking and crying hysterically. “Hurry, please.”

“Okay, okay, calm down. I’ll be right there,” she said, hanging up before I could fill her in any more. I slid down to the floor, pulled my knees to my chest and just rocked myself back and forth.

My thoughts raced, “I didn’t want this, but I didn’t want this. This is my fault.” I couldn’t stop the voice in my head. I tortured myself with fear and guilt until I heard the ding of the elevator down the hall. I went to the door to unlock it and let Sarah in.

“Nolan, what’s wro…” she took one look at me, and suddenly she knew. My lips were quivering now, and I was shivering uncontrollably. “Nolan, it’s okay. Come here. It’s okay.”