Girl Out of Water(48)

Finally, everyone is in the living room, where Parker, Nash, and Emery have created a giant banner over the fireplace that reads WELCOME HOME, MOM. Okay, it actually reads WLCOME HOME MOM with a tiny E crunched in belatedly because Nash can’t watch TV and spell at the same time. We also have plates of homemade cookies and brownies to celebrate, including a cookie concoction from Parker and Nash that has chocolate chips, Reese’s Pieces, marshmallows, and sprinkles.

Aunt Jackie looks around, her face pale from being indoors, her frame small and hunched. “I’m sorry guys,” she says, though she’s not really looking at any of us. “I’m really beat. Do you mind—” She turns to the nurse aid. “Would you help me to my room?”

The nurse, an older man with thick shoulders and thin legs, nods and wheels Aunt Jackie into the guest room, where, this morning, we set up a special bed that lowers and rises so Aunt Jackie can get from the wheelchair into the bed despite the long, straight cast still on her right leg. Her left leg is only wrapped in a compression cuff.

Parker and Nash start to trail into the room, but I place a hand on each of their shoulders. “Let’s let your mom rest,” I whisper. “How about you help me eat some of those cookies?”

I turn to invite Emery to join us, my heart hurting that Aunt Jackie’s homecoming wasn’t as joyous as we’d all hoped, but she’s already disappeared upstairs.

? ? ?

“What should we do about Aunt Jackie?” I ask Dad the next day. I thought she would be thrilled to be home, but she hasn’t said more than a few words at a time. I want to help her, but I don’t know how.

Dad and I are sitting in the kitchen early in the morning, sipping green tea and picking over cinnamon French toast and fresh-cut fruit. The house is quiet with all the kids and Aunt Jackie still sleeping. Last night I tried to talk to Emery. I wanted to reassure her that Aunt Jackie was tired and would be better in the morning, but by the time I went upstairs, she was already in bed with her lights off and headphones on. If I can get Aunt Jackie to cheer up, I know it will help Emery too.

Dad runs a hand through his hair. It’s been growing out all summer and now curls at the ends. “Well,” he says. “What makes us feel better?”

“What makes us feel better when we’ve been on bed rest for almost a month with another month to look forward to?” I ask.

Dad gives me a hard look. I sigh and tear off a piece of the French toast, squishing it with my fingers before popping it into my mouth. What makes me happy? Surfing, of course, then Tess and all my friends who I haven’t seen for weeks. I don’t think anything would make me happier than being surrounded by all of them. And then it clicks. “We should throw her a party!”

“I don’t think Jacks is in a partying mood.”

“Not like a party party, a little one. Invite some of her friends over. You can grill. It’ll be good.”

“You know what?” Dad asks. “That does sound like a good idea.”

“I’ve been known to have them every now and then.”

He grins. “This is true.” He rips off another piece of toast, then says, “Maybe you’ll meet some of your mom’s old friends.”

My stomach drops. I hadn’t thought about that. It’s a small suburb. It makes sense Aunt Jackie would still be friends with people she’s known her entire life. But I’ve never thought of my mom as having friends because when she leaves a place, she leaves its people too.

“Have you, um…heard from her?” I ask, feeling a bit guilty I still haven’t told him about the postcard.

Dad studies my face, then softly says, “No, I haven’t. When I heard about Jacks, I did the usual send out.” Email to an address she never checks, letter to a place she’s already left, call to a number that’s inevitably disconnected. “But I haven’t heard back from her.”

“Asshole,” I mutter under my breath. Dad stiffens at the word. “You think she’d at least check in every once in a while to make sure we’re all breathing.”

“I’m sorry, Anise. I wish she wasn’t like this. Jacks wishes she wasn’t like this. But your mom is complicated, and coming home for her…well, it’s more difficult than leaving home for you. The last time she was here was for Jacks’s wedding. It was a miracle we got in touch with her, and she still missed the ceremony and only showed up for part of the reception. We just have to accept your mom for who she is. We’ll never be happy otherwise.” He leans over and kisses me on the head. “Come on, let’s go plan that party.”

But I can’t leave it at that. “How can someone be so selfish?”

Dad pauses. “Sometimes it’s hard to see outside of yourself…” He pulls off another piece of toast but doesn’t eat it. Instead, he looks at me. “…especially when you don’t want to.”

? ? ?

Aunt Jackie is against having a party at first, but once we convince her that we’ll only invite a few people and Dad will grill his famous garlic smashed burgers, she gives into the idea. We spend the rest of the day and the next prepping, so when the doorbell rings, and I’m doused in chocolate and powdered sugar, and Dad is outside busy with the grill and the boys, and Emery is hiding upstairs, and Aunt Jackie is not adept at using her wheelchair yet, I’m the one who answers the door.