Gifted Thief (Highland Magic #1)(47)

‘Oooh, The Visitor? The episode where he’s come unstuck in time and his son is trying to save him? That’s a good one.’

‘I know.’ He glared. ‘Can I get back to watching it?’

‘Perhaps you need to put away the boxed set and start paying more attention. I almost died half an hour ago.’

‘Hmm?’ Bob drummed his fingers impatiently against the ground. ‘Do you think his son will save him?’ His mouth pursed. ‘No, wait. Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.’ He cupped his hands round his ears. ‘Tralalalalala. I’m not listening.’

I sighed and waited. It took him a moment or two. He blinked and dropped his arms. ‘Wait a minute. You just about died?’

‘Stoor worm.’

Bob’s puzzlement grew. ‘We’re still at the Cruaich.’

‘I know.’

‘How stupid do you think I am, Uh Integrity?’ he said, affecting hurt. ‘Stoor worms live in the bottom of the ocean.’

‘I know.’

He leaned forward and sniffed. ‘Soap,’ he declared. ‘Definitely not stoor worm. Soap and,’ he paused, ‘sex.’ He lifted his eyebrows admiringly. ‘Fast work.’

I gazed at him, exasperated. ‘I’m not lying. There really was a stoor worm. Someone must have conjured it to try and get rid of me.’

Bob shrugged. ‘So they failed. Better luck next time!’

I narrowed my eyes. ‘You want me dead?’

He threw up his hands. ‘My raison d’être, Uh Integrity, is wishes. First there was the banker who was too stupid to realise what he had right in front of him, and now there’s you who’s a stubborn as a mule and refuses to ask for anything in case I’m trying to cheat her. The best thing I can hope for is that you drop dead as quickly as possible so I can move on.’ His expression was defiant but also slightly nervous.

‘That’s my point, Bob,’ I told him. ‘I wanted to ask for a wish. I would have made a wish. But you were thrown out of the window so I couldn’t.’

‘Why did you throw me out of the window?’

‘I didn’t.’

‘Because you know if you want to make a wish, I have to be in the room to hear it,’ he said. ‘I have unbelievable magical powers which you can only dream of but they don’t work if I can’t hear you.’

I folded my arms. ‘Bob,’ I said, in the sternest tone imaginable, ‘I need you to pay attention. You told me you will find your way back to me if I try and throw you away.’

‘Yes, it’s true. Because I am a supreme being with powers that…’

‘…that I can only dream of. Yes, I got that part. Well, listen, Bob. I’m not going to throw you away. In fact, I’m going to make sure you stay very, very close to me.’

‘Ooh! Uh Integrity, I had no idea! You’re rather large and lumbering compared to me but you’re not bad looking, I suppose. We could work something out.’ He waggled his eyebrows.

Good grief. ‘I’m going to keep you very close because it appears that someone is trying to kill me,’ I said with patience that was wearing thin. ‘And, despite my best intentions, I might be forced to make a wish to survive. Which means that until I say otherwise, you need to pay attention at all times. If we get separated, you need to jump back to me as soon as you can.’

‘Is that a wish?’ he asked eagerly.

‘No. But if you want me to use up any of your wishes, then this is the best shot you’ve got.’

Bob’s bottom lip jutted out. ‘But Sisko…’

‘My next of kin is a man named Taylor. He’s human. He won’t recognise you for what you are.’ I stroked the blade. ‘He will, however, appreciate this very fine silver and melt it down to make something more bankable.’

Bob was aghast. ‘He wouldn’t dare.’

‘He wouldn’t know. So,’ I said, ‘my death will not help you. The only chance you’ve got of me asking for any wishes is when my back is against the wall and I have no choice. So pay sodding attention.’

I thought for a moment that I’d gone too far and that Bob would relapse into a sulk. Instead, he shrugged cheerfully. ‘Okay.’

‘Good,’ I muttered.

‘Can I just watch the end of the episode first?’

I considered. ‘Very well. But only because it’s a really good one and I don’t want to have to listen to you talk about it for days to come. Once it’s done, you’re frosty and alert at all times. Got it?’

‘Got it, Uh Integrity.’ He winked. ‘We’re going to make a great team.’

I sighed. I really hoped that it wasn’t going to be long before Lexie showed up with the others. Between now and then, I probably needed to learn some patience. Like immediately.

*

‘What do you call it,’ I asked Byron when I eventually found the library and his stiff-backed form staring out a window, ‘when worms take over the world?’

He didn’t answer.

‘Global worming,’ I informed him.

He turned and faced me, his brows drawn together. The hair which normally fell so artlessly across his forehead had somehow formed a cute little curl. It was difficult to resist the urge to brush it away.