Game of Fear (Montgomery Justice #3)(69)

“This isn’t just about Steve,” Deb said. “I’ve been around you long enough to know there’s something a lot bigger that happened the night Shannon Devlin died. You’ve kept it from your brothers, but it’s slipping out, Gabe. They see it. So do I.”

He didn’t say a word for a few moments.

“It’s not relevant to our investigation.”

“Okay,” she said lightly, “if you say so.” She settled down in her seat and chewed on another pretzel.

Echoes of cars zooming past filtered through the hotel’s windows. A siren screamed from several streets over.

Deb watched Gabe warring with himself.

She got that. When you said something aloud it became much more real.

Finally Gabe dropped his head back against the couch. “Why do you have to be so damned stubborn? Look, I hated my dad that night. Not the pissed-off-because-I-was-grounded-most-of-my-senior-year kind of hate, but unadulterated, gut-wrenching disgust. He’d always been my hero, and I’d just discovered he’d done something that could destroy my mom.” Gabe looked at Deb. “You’ve met my mother. She’s formidable, but devoted as the day is long. She loves unconditionally. How could he betray her?”

Deb shifted to the side to see Gabe more easily. “My relationship with my dad’s not any better. That’s not a secret from our phone conversation. Four-star Army general. As rigid as they come.” She sighed. “Before my mother’s death, he showed more affection. He adored her. He just assumed she’d always be there to take care of things while he saved the world. Her death rocked him to the core.”

“He changed after that?” Gabe reached out and held Deb’s hand. He stroked her palm and her heartbeat quickened in response.

“Oh, yeah. The transition was hard on all of us. My brothers and sister needed him. We were just kids. We wanted to cling to him, but it was like he hated to come home. The longer and more dangerous the deployment, the better. My aunt raised us most of the time when he was deployed, although I took responsibility for Ashley.”

“How old were you?”

“Fourteen. She was five.”

“You were awfully young.”

“I was old enough to understand Ashley needed love. Love that my father wouldn’t give. Besides, how could I complain? I saw the news. Saw the violence in the countries where he was stationed. To me, he was the bravest man on earth. He’d come home in his uniform, with that duffel bag slung over his back. I thought my father was a hero. We all thought it.”

Gabe stared at her, his eyes questioning.

“He was the reason my brothers and I signed up.”

“I hear a ‘but’ coming on . . .”

“I wanted to fly. I wanted to be a hero like my father. I loved helicopters, and doing search and rescue, but I didn’t make a secret of the direction I wanted my career to go. I wanted to be a fighter pilot from the beginning.”

“Jets? I could see you strapped in.”

She sat the beer on the table and rubbed her eyes. “The speed scared me a little, but it was also exhilarating. Lansings aren’t allowed to show fear . . . or cry . . . or wimp out on anything.”

“I got that impression from your phone call. So what happened that you’re now flying helicopters?”

Deb shook her head to dispel the memories. “I was home one Christmas. I thought for sure I’d made the cut for fighter training. I wanted to tell my father so I went toward his study. The General was on the phone talking to the detailer. He made sure I didn’t get my shot at the jets. He arranged for me to get assigned to helicopter training. He manipulated the system, used his influence, called in favors . . . and changed my career.”

Gabe looked over at her. “Maybe he wanted to protect you?”

An old anger burned in Deb’s belly. “I didn’t need his protection. I needed his support. When my brother went into black ops, he didn’t stop him. When the other decided on Special Forces, he was proud.”

She couldn’t sit still. The memories swirled inside of her. She rose from the sofa and paced. “He’d preached all my life that if you go for it, do the right thing, follow the credo—honor, country, faith, and hard work—you could achieve anything you wanted. My father scuttled my career with a few well-placed phone calls. I’d seen him do it to folks in his command he didn’t deem worthy. But I thought family stuck together. I never believed he’d do that to me. Or that he’d lie. He betrayed me. And without remorse.”

“I’m sorry,” Gabe said.

Deb chugged down the rest of her beer. “He wasn’t who I thought he was. That’s what hurt the most.”

“Yeah. It sucks when a hero turns into a flawed human being,” Gabe said, his voice laced with some bitterness. “Did you ever forgive him?”

“I guess. Sort of.” She sat again, sadness sweeping through her. “But I don’t trust him anymore. Our relationship has never been the same since his betrayal.”

“Yeah.” Gabe stared at the ceiling. “I never forgave my old man for what he did, either. Not really. I lived with it, but I got out of the house as fast as I could. I couldn’t stay there, knowing he’d deceived my mother.”

Deb didn’t ask him to explain what had happened. The situation was obvious. Gabe’s father had cheated on his mother.