Game(34)

I watched her casually get up from the couch. She lingered for a few seconds as though she wanted me to touch her, wish her goodnight, or tuck her into bed. All I did was give her a head nod. Maybe it was better if we tried to strip away anything between us. Get through tonight and start fresh tomorrow. Hopefully that meant without Fiore showing up and putting a gun to my head.

Shayna walked away and Cormac started to chuckle.

“What’s so funny?” I asked.

“Yer checking out her ass.”

“You weren’t?”

“Oh, I was. She’s got a nice ass, brother. A real nice ass. I’m wondering why you’re not in there… getting it.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Christ, Cormac, you know why I built this place. How can I…” I gritted my teeth. “I never had a woman in here before. It wasn’t the place for that. Nothing ever had meaning. Besides her.”

Cormac put a hand to my shoulder and squeezed tight. Each one of his chubby Irish fingers felt like the tip of a hammer digging into my muscle.

“Let me tell you something,” he said. “Something about this one has gotten you twisted up. It’s a good thing to see.”

“Yeah? You really mean that?”

“I do. Nobody should live in pain forever, Finn. My sister ain’t living in pain. She’s somewhere else. Maybe up there in heaven, dancing to shitty music and tossing her hair around.”

“She really liked shitty music,” I whispered.

“Aye, she did. I still have her CD’s. I listen to them.”

I put my hand to Cormac’s. “I’m so sorry, brother.”

“I know. But we didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I did, Cormac. I slipped. I lost it all. I turned my life and desires into some kind of sick game. See how far I could go down and how much pain I could find.”

“Well, this is pretty bottom if you ask me,” Cormac said. “I’m going to hit the couch. Whiskey’s got me torn up good.”

Cormac went to the couch and crashed hard. I was pretty sure he was asleep before his head touched the cushion.

I sat there for the next hour alone, sipping whiskey and watching the fire burn. It started to die out and I knew Cormac could survive without a fire overnight. With as much whiskey as he had in his body he could survive a week in the arctic, butt naked.

Still, I stood and went to the fireplace. I grabbed two logs and tossed them in.

“What do you think?”

“It’s… trees…”

“We’re in the woods, darling.”

“I know that, Finn.”

“But right here. Right here…” I slip my hands to her waist and pull her close. “Right here, pretend we’re standing in front of the fireplace. A fire burning. A gentle snow falling…”

“Wow, look at you. All poetic. And here I thought your mouth was only good for one thing.”

“Damn, woman. You talk filthy sometimes.”

“You don’t mind.”

“No, I don’t…”

I turned from the fireplace and wiped the corners of my eyes.

My life had become a game. A game of fighting and making money. Even when the darkness took over, I still left it as a game. A game to fight in a different way, through Fiore. And the women. They were nothing but a game.

I looked at the bedroom.

Was Shayna a game?

I walked to the bedroom and watched her sleep. She was rolled up in the sheets, but her right leg stuck out. It was bent, pulling the sheets up her body, showing off her panties and the sweet curve of her ass. Whiskey gave me temptation and my fingertips tingled as I approached the bed.

I reached down and touched the back of her thigh. I ran up to her ass and cupped her. My fingertips slipped into the back of her panties. I curled my fingers, feeling warmth. I leaned down a little, taking a breath, letting my fingers move some more. My fingers kept going, following the natural curve of her beautiful body. When I touched between her legs, she wasn’t ready, but that didn’t mean I stopped.

Shayna stirred, letting out a purring groan.

A second later, I felt the trickling of wetness. Her body’s reaction to my touch left me gritting my teeth. With two fingers, I gently rubbed her sex. The gentle moisture quickly became a flood. I had broken the dam of her desire. My fingers eased between her folds and I pressed, feeling the tightness of her entrance.

Then I froze.

I pulled back and Shayna groaned again.

I looked at her face and her eyes were open. “Don’t stop,” she whispered. “Please, Finn, don’t stop…”

Her hand reached for my wrist, but I was quicker. I took my hand away from her body. I grabbed the sheets and put them over her exposed body. But she didn’t stop. She grabbed my wrist, then my hand. She interlocked her fingers to mine.

“It’s okay,” she whispered. “I want to know everything. I want the truth.”

I slid down to my ass and put my back against the bed. I wasn’t going to sleep in the same bed as Shayna, but I wouldn’t leave her side.

We were still holding hands.

“The truth?” I said, staring nowhere. “The truth, sweetie…” I looked back at her. At the most beautiful woman I’d ever met. A woman who scared me, thrilled me, and made me want more. And I hadn’t even f*cked her yet. “The truth is… we’re dead.”