Futures and Frosting (Chocolate Lovers #2)(14)

“It smells like strawberry milk,” I say with a cringe. I don’t know about anyone else, but milk and liquor just does not sound like it should go together.

“It tastes like strawberry milk too. And it’s good shit. I thought I’d start us off with something girly tonight so know one hurls in the first hour,” Drew explains.

We all nod in understanding. No one wants to be the first one to puke.

The six of us sit at the back of the bus around the semi-circle leather couch. We raise our shot glasses in the air until they all clink together in the middle.

“I’d like to propose a toast,” Drew says. “Here’s to you, here’s to me – f*ck you, here’s to me!”

We all down the shots as the bus starts up and pulls away from the curb.





6. Back Door Action


Oh. My. God. What is that noise? WHAT IS THAT NOISE??

It feels like someone is screaming in my ear with a bullhorn. I let out a groan, roll over, and pull the covers up over my head in an effort to stop it from exploding.

Sweet Jesus what did I do last night?

“CLAIRE! For f*ck’s sake shut your alarm clock off!”

The yelling from Liz on the other side of my door makes me cringe. I pull the covers down just far enough so I can squint at my alarm clock.

Sure enough, the sound that's threatening to make my ears bleed is coming from that little bastard on our dresser across the room.

The repetitive flash of the time, its bright red numbers, and the staccato beeping on that thing makes me think its judging me. I can hear it— tequila, shots, vodka, karaoke, you’re an idiot.

“Carter,” I mumble.

Jesus, my voice sounds like I swallowed a bucket full of gravel. It feels that way too.

“Carter,” I groan again. “Shut off the alarm clock.”

With my squinty eye, I turn my head as slowly as possible and see the spot next to me in bed is empty.

“Shit.”

I stick my arm out from under my cocoon and grab the first thing my fingers touch on my nightstand—a vibrator with a leash on it. It’s a sad, sad day when something like this doesn’t faze me. I whip it across the room and watch the giant pink rubber penis and its diamond-studded leash crash into the alarm clock and effectively shut it up.

Small bursts of memories from last night flash through my addled brain and make me wish I can have a lobotomy.

Did I sing “Like a Virgin” at a winery? And why am I not wearing any underwear?

With my eyes squeezed shut so the bright rays of sun shining through the window don’t light them on fire, I stumble out of bed and throw on a pair of yoga pants that are crumpled on the floor. I slowly make my way out of the bedroom and into the living room.

“Yo, Claire Bear! You’re alive!” Drew shouts from his spot on the couch as I peel my eyes open and gave him the finger for being so cheerful and not hung-over.

How is that possible? He drank way more than me. I think. And why is he in our living room? I’m going to start charging this * rent.

I stare at the annoying smile on Drew’s face and another memory from last night assaults me as I walk up to the kitchen table and pull out a chair.

“Why do I remember you peeing somewhere in this house?” I ask with my gravelly voice that I hope is just from yelling and singing and not from puking somewhere I can’t recall.

“Did you pee on this chair?” I ask angrily as my ass hovers above the seat cushion.

“Yes, he peed in that chair,” Liz answers as she emerges from the laundry room off of the kitchen.

“Fuck, it’s like we have a puppy,” I mutter as I move to take a seat at one of the bar stools by the island instead.

“I didn’t pee that bad on it,” Drew complains as he walks into the kitchen and makes a show of looking really hard at the chair in question.

“There is no GOOD level of pee on a chair, Drew!” I yell as I take the glass of water and aspirin Liz had set down on the counter in front of me. I throw the pills in my mouth and chug the entire glass of water.

I hear the faint sound of music coming from somewhere and realize my purse is singing the theme song from “Golden Girls”. Liz and Drew start cracking up behind me as I reach to the end of the island and grab my purse, realizing by their snickers that one of them must have changed my ring tone.

I dig through my purse trying to find the damn phone before that f*cking song is stuck in my head all day.

“…..traveled down the road and back again. Your heart is true; you’re a pal and a confidant…”

My hand finally wraps around the offending cell phone and I quickly hit the send button to stop the song before I even get it out of my purse.

“Hello?” I turn around to glare at Liz and Drew, mouthing the words “What the f*ck?” to them silently as I answer the phone. That just causes them to laugh even harder.

“Wow, I didn’t think you’d be awake yet after last night.”

The sound of Carter’s voice makes me forget that my so-called friends put some stupid ass song on my phone that I won’t be able to stop humming now.

“Did we have sex last night?” I ask, having no shame whatsoever in the fact that I don’t remember. Generally, I like to know why I wake up with no pants or underwear on. It’s just a little quirk I have.