Furthermore(63)

So many clothes for a man. Alice was impressed.

Alice had only ever seen father wear loose tunics and linen slacks. (And occasionally his denim jacket, when it was cold.) But not only was Paramint wearing a shirt, a vest, trousers, and a jacket, he was also wearing some kind of knitted cloth—a scarf, perhaps?—knotted around his neck, and he’d stuffed a handkerchief in his jacket pocket. It made her wonder if he sneezed a lot.

But never mind all that, because Paramint was the nicest, cleanest old man she’d ever met. He explained that it was his job to guard the Visiting Door, and to always be ready for guests; he said it was all he did, all day long. He made sure he was prepared (and looked presentable) for the day the land of Left would finally receive a visitor.

He said he’d been waiting fifty-six years.

Paramint ushered them down one branch and up another, all the while announcing very loudly to anyone who would listen that Alice and Oliver were the honorable guests who’d finally arrived. There were many gasps, a few short screams, and occasionally, someone would faint. (Oliver had a bad habit of laughing very nervously when this happened.) The whole of Left was dressed in complicated clothes. A few of the ladies wore suits much like Paramint’s, and though they were well tailored and colorfully done, the truth was Alice hated suits just as much as she hated pants, so really, it was only the gowns she loved. There were a few ladies (and even a gentleman or three) who wore the most beautiful gowns—flowing skirts and intricate tops—and did very interesting things with their hair. Alice looked down at her own tattered clothes and touched her matted, knotted hair and, for just a moment, was silly enough to be sad she wasn’t a bit more presentable. She imagined that she and Oliver must’ve looked very strange indeed. What a pair of dirty visitors they were. Were it not for the blue shoes Oliver had made for her, Alice would’ve had nothing to be proud of, because those blue shoes were now the most beautiful things she owned. And no matter her running, jumping, and nearly dying, the slippers still looked brand-new. Oliver had done some very skillful magic.

Speaking of Oliver, he was currently engaged in the practice of awe. He was looking around, bright-eyed and blooming, truly wowed by the land of Left. Alice thought Oliver had seen all there was to see in Furthermore—she thought he could never be wooed again, not the way Alice was when she first arrived—but clearly she was wrong. Oliver had grown accustomed to the things he’d already seen, but beyond that, he was just as vulnerable as she was. She knew then that they’d have to be even more vigilant now; without Oliver’s constant caution, they’d have to work even harder to keep from falling prey to the fancy twists and feasts of Furthermore. Alice took a nervous breath and squeezed Oliver’s hand. He squeezed back.

Neither one of them was an expert here, and here, in the land of Left, they’d be faced with an entirely new challenge.





OLIVER SAYS I’M TERRIBLE AT CHAPTER HEADINGS





Paramint never wanted them to leave.

He’d been waiting fifty-six years for visitors, which meant he’d had fifty-six years to plan all the things they would do when visitors finally arrived.

Alice only realized this when they’d reached Paramint’s home. The hanging homes were quite spacious and sturdy, despite their eggshell exteriors, which made Alice wonder where these eggs had come from. What kind of creature could lay an egg so large? She decided she didn’t want to think about it. But then, she also didn’t want to think about the very large scroll Paramint was pulling out of a trunk in the round of his home, but there wasn’t much she could do to stop it happening.

“We’ll start with a celebration, of course,” Paramint said as the scroll unfurled at his feet. “And it will be a very grand day indeed. A feast for all, even the little ones! We’ll have dozens of cakes and every fresh berry and pitchers of fairysnip and candied–corn husks. We’ll have a musical jamboree! We’ll sing every dawn and dance every night!”

(Alice and Oliver were sitting on Paramint’s very small pumpkin-orange couch, not saying a word.) “Of course, we must first alert the queens,” Paramint was saying, “who’ll then alert the princesses, who will then alert the twincesses, who will then—”

“Paramint,” Alice said, clearing her throat quietly.

“Yes, your honorableness,” he said, dropping the scroll in an instant. “What good thing may I do for you?”

Alice smiled an uncertain smile, unaccustomed to such attentions, and said, “We are so, so grateful for all your kindness, and so excited to be in the land of Left—”

“It really is the most lovely place,” Oliver said, smiling as he looked around.

“Oh, thank you, sir,” said Paramint, blushing. “Thank you so much.”

“But I’m afraid we can’t stay for very long,” Alice said carefully. “Is there any chance we could cut short the festivities?”

Paramint was deathly still for only a few moments before he began nodding, very quickly. “Of course,” he said. “Of course. Forgive me, your honorableness, I should not have assumed you would want to celebrate so much.”

Alice smiled, relieved.

“I will make the proper changes to our schedule,” Paramint said, still nodding. “I’m certain that with the right planning, we may yet have a wonderful time—and celebrate just as thoroughly!—over a ten-year period.” Paramint was smiling a pained sort of smile. “Will that be alright, do you think? It will be difficult, yes, and it will mean a lot of very busy days, but I’m sure, together, we can make it work.”