Full Package(7)

“You? A witch? I doubt it.”

She cackles and curves her fingers into claws. “Complete with the pointy hat and black cat if I don’t sleep well.”

“I won’t disturb your slumber with heavy metal, or playing my audiobooks out loud,” I say as we reach the crosswalk and wait for the little man in the sign to turn green. “Besides, I’m all about the earphones, anyway. My relationship with my headphones is quite possibly the longest one I’ve had.”

That trumps the year-long one with my ex, a fellow doctor named Adele, and even that lasted about eleven months longer than it should have. A dark cloud hovers at the edge of my thoughts; I don’t like thinking about the girl who was my closest friend once upon a time. I basically try to never think of Adele, if I can help it.

“We’re on the same page about hours, cleanliness, and cooking, and our schedules fit well together,” Josie says, as we separate briefly to give room to a harried mom charging through the evening crowds with a stroller. “Oh, and rent is due on the first of the month to Mr. Barnes, and if you want to move in right away, that would be awesome.” She seems a little guilty, like maybe she feels bad asking me to move in so soon. But hell, I’m effectively a homeless guy, so her speed-is-of-the-essence offer sounds good.

“I can be in this weekend,” I say.

“Thank God,” she says, exhaling deeply. “I have to admit, I took out a loan a few months ago to expand the bakery, and I’ve been stretched a bit thin between payments and rent each month. It’s doable, but I just really need a roomie to spread the cost. That’s why I’m so glad you can do this. You’re saving me. I don’t know what I’d do without you stepping up like this.”

I squeeze her shoulder. “You can count on me, Josie. I’ve got a year-long contract at Mercy, so I’m not skipping town. And besides, you’re saving me, so we’re totally even.”

“Good. I need you for even more than your talented mouth now,” she says, and I blink and stare at her, trying to figure out if she’s even aware of the innuendo that just spilled from her pretty lips. But she’s about to be.

I wiggle my eyebrows. “My mouth is damn talented. And did you know my tongue has amazing stamina?”

Rolling her eyes, she chuckles. “I deserved that. I left you no choice but to go there.”

I nod. “You can’t say things like that and expect me not to comment.”

“Oh, believe you me, I know about your level of dirty commentary, and it’s a damn good thing I find it amusing. And all your naughty comments are making me forget the tips and guidelines for roommate compatibility that I’m supposed to review.” She stops in front of a tall stone church with a slate gray exterior, gazing up at the vast New York sky, a rare cloudless blue this evening as the sun dips toward the horizon. She looks as if she’s contemplating something, but then she shrugs happily. “I had this whole list of questions to ask potential roommates, but it doesn’t really matter anymore. I know we’re compatible.”

I hold my arms out wide. “I’m easy. What you see is what you get.”

“You know I love that about you,” she says as we resume our pace across town.

We’ve known each other for years, and Josie and I hit it off from day one. When I visited her parents’ home in New York City with Wyatt during my junior year of college, we clicked instantly. The first time I walked through the door of the family’s brownstone on the Upper West Side, she didn’t even hesitate to throw her arms around me and welcome me into the home. After that embrace, she thrust a plate of mini cupcakes at me, and the rest was history.

She was home from college at the same time as I was, and one of the reasons we got along so well is we’re close in age. I skipped two grades as a kid, so I wound up starting college at sixteen. Wyatt and I were in the same graduating class at school, but he’s two years older. Anyway, I went on to spend many weekends at Wyatt’s home since my folks live outside Seattle and I attended school near Manhattan. Along with Wyatt’s twin brother, Nick, we all hung out together on those long weekends, watching movies and traipsing around the city checking out bands and visiting—ironically, of course—tourist traps like the wax museum in Times Square to photobomb as many pictures as possible.

At the clubs, Nick and Wyatt gave Josie and me a hard time because we weren’t old enough to drink. In our favor, though, we discovered we made a powerful Scrabble team, and we crushed the Hammer twins in our games. I knew the killer science words like “dyspnea” and “zygosity,” and Josie, the lit major, slayed it with her all-around love of words, including her mastery of the two-letter Scrabble ones. We destroyed those fuckers one night in a nine-letter game with a one-two punch of “diplococci” and “Qi.”

The prize?

They had to go out and buy us beer. Victory had never tasted so good.

Funny that even though Wyatt’s my buddy, I’ve managed to become close friends with his sister, too. Probably helps that Wyatt knows there’s nothing cooking between Josie and me. Hell, how else do you explain being friends with a girl this long? Obviously, I don’t want her.

Besides, I’ve been there and learned the hard way that getting into a relationship with a woman you’re friends with can only end in heartbreak. Thank you, Adele, for that little lesson. I won’t go there again. Ever.