Full Package(52)

I snap my gaze to him. “What?” I heard him, I just refuse to believe Josie would do that.

“Look at you. You’re a mess. She’s going to hurt you. Like that—”

I cut him off before he can say “Adele.” I don’t feel the need to defend my ex, but I can’t bear to have her name breathed near Josie’s. “It’s not the same.”

“I know, but fuck.” He drags a hand through his hair, heaving a sigh. “I hate seeing you so worked up over a woman.”

“She’s not just any woman.”

“I get that.” He stares me down. His dark eyes have always felt like laser beams. “She’s your roommate, and your best friend, and your lover, and you want her to be your girlfriend.” He takes a beat and shakes his head as if he’s frustrated with the situation. “But she’s told you that can’t happen, and you’re setting yourself up for a world of hurt.”

He’s right. Hell, I know he’s right. And the dread that floods every corner of my body is the proof of how right he is. But still, some faint hope nags at me. “You sure?”

“Look, there’s probably some school of thought that would tell you to man up and let her know how you feel. And hey, maybe you should. Lord knows, I don’t have the track record to be any sort of relationship expert.” He scrubs a hand over his jaw. “But, Chase . . . this? This is a precarious house of cards.” He makes a flicking motion with his finger, knocking over the imaginary structure. “I just don’t see how you can pull off this trick without everything tumbling down. She’s not some nurse you’re hot for who works the same shift. She’s not a chick you met online, or a babe you hooked up with at a car show.”

I laugh for a second because that last is his weakness, not mine. “I thought you were cutting back on that?”

He makes a scout’s honor sign. “I’m on the wagon.” He grips my shoulder. “Anyway, the point is . . . she’s Josie,” he says, with an intensity that matches how I feel for her. “You’ve had a thing for her for about . . . forever. Everyone knew it but you.”

I arch an eyebrow. “Everyone?”

“Dude, it’s patently obvious. You flirt with her constantly. Your face lights up when she comes in the room. You smile like an idiot when you talk about her.”

I sneer. “Shut up. I do not.”

“You do, too.”

I scowl, proving just how much I’m not a love-struck fool.

“That’s why I don’t see how even you can pull this off,” he says. “If anyone can manage balancing acts and feats of strength, it’s my little brother. But this isn’t just pushing your body to finish a race, or to handle a thirty-six-hour shift without a yawn. This isn’t even skipping two grades in school, smarty-pants. This is a fuck-ton harder.”

I draw a deep breath, letting it fill me, letting it fuel me. “So I just shut it down?”

He sighs heavily. “I can’t tell you to do that. All I can say is be prepared for a hurricane-size storm if you open it up.”

I sink back on the bench, certain that Max’s advice is spot on. Because it aligns with the woman’s wishes—Josie made it perfectly clear from the start that we are temporary, and she laid down the law again last night. “What do I do next? How do I just return to being roommates and friends?”

He drapes an arm around me. “You don’t.”

I shoot him a look as if he’s speaking Swahili. “What?”

“You don’t go back. Come stay with me. Take a break before being so close to her drives you crazy. You can move in with her again if you want, but stay with me for a few days, a few weeks, a few months—as long as you want. Whatever you need while you get this shit sorted out.”

At first, I want to blow him off. To say “nah, I hardly need that.” But something about his idea gives me a sense of calm I haven’t felt in a while. The longer I stay with Josie, the harder it’ll be when it ends. And it will end. The clock is winding down.

“Maybe I should,” I say.

He nods. “I don’t pretend to have any answers, but I love you, man. I don’t want to see you hurt, and right now, I can tell you are.”

I am, and I can’t stand feeling this way. I go for my best attempt at humor production. “So, you love me?”

He drops his knuckles to my head and grinds them against my skull. “I do.”

“Like a brother?”

He laughs. “Just like a brother.”

Right now, maybe that’s what I need most.





30





From the pages of Josie’s Recipe Book



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Everything But Raisins Cookies





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Ingredients

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour 1 1/4 teaspoons baking soda 1 teaspoon salt

1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon 1 cup butter, softened

1 1/2 cups packed brown sugar 1 cup white sugar

2 eggs

1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract 1 cup dried cherries

2 cups rolled oats

1/2 cup flaked coconut

2 cups semisweet chocolate chips 1 cup chopped pecans