Full Contact (Redemption #3)(71)
Moments later, I find myself prone on the mat with Doctor Death sitting astride me horsey style. He tells the class the name of the game is control. The rear mount is one of the most dominant and controlling positions because it leaves the person on the bottom in a very vulnerable position. I don’t feel vulnerable, just tired after too much physical activity. And since I’m lying cozy on the mat, I consider having a little nap until Doctor Death yanks me up to all fours and kneels behind me with his hands on my hips.
Still not feeling vulnerable, but hoping that whatever Doctor Death is now grinding into my ass starts with the letter C and ends with the letters UP, I look over my shoulder and glare. “What’s this called?”
He gives me another wink. “Having fun.”
“Don’t have too much fun, or you’ll be getting a nasty surprise on your ass the next time you come in to the tattoo parlor.”
Doctor Death laughs. “Sia. I’m shocked. I never thought you had it in you.”
“I’m discovering I have a lot more inside me than I ever knew.”
“From this position, I can demonstrate a rear naked choke.” Doctor Death leans over my back and slides his arm around my neck, pulling me up to my knees until my throat rests in the crook of his elbow. My body tenses. I’ve watched enough fights to recognize this powerful and super-difficult-to-escape submission, and I’m pretty damn sure being held immobile with my air cut off is going to set off my triggers.
And yes, when Doctor Death pulls me back so I’m lying flat on top of him, my ass pressed against his “cup” and my windpipe tight in the crook of his elbow, I hear the familiar roar of blood in my ears, much like the roar of the crowd when the Predator had the Meat Grinder in this same hold. Everyone thought it was all over for the Meat Grinder, until he went Tasmanian Devil, wiggling, squirming, shrimping, and bridging until the Predator was forced to release his hold. Of course, the Predator still took him down, but I can be a devil too.
Taking a deep breath, I fight back the panic, and thrash and wiggle against Doctor Death like my life depended on it. I use every move I’ve seen in the fights, struggling the way I wish I had struggled with Luke. That night I froze, unable to process how someone I trusted implicitly could betray me so profoundly. This time, exhilarated by the fact I’ve fought back the fear, I fight. Moments later I am free and crouched in a defensive position on the mat.
Doctor Death pushes himself to his side and quirks an eyebrow. “And that would be a way to escape a rear naked choke if one were in the ring, although it was entirely unnecessary during a class demo.”
“Saved you from losing a coupla limbs.”
I look over my shoulder and my stomach does a back flip. Ray is leaning against the wall, arms folded, one leg crossed over the other, as if he’s been there for quite some time. He’s wearing his purple fight shorts and a gray T-shirt stretched tight over his deliciously hard body. But when he catches my gaze, I look away. I want to see him, but I don’t. Last night was enough heartache to last a lifetime.
“Come.” Ray holds out his hand to me, and I shake my head.
“I’m in the middle of a class. I’m learning how to fight.” Then I lift an eyebrow. “Might be useful if I found myself in a dangerous situation.”
He swallows hard. “You want to fight, I’ll teach you.”
Hands clenched, I push myself to my feet and close the distance between us so the rest of the class doesn’t get an unexpected show. “I thought we were done,” I say, keeping my voice low. “You said you were a danger to me. You said you couldn’t go through losing someone again. Then you just dropped me off at home and didn’t answer my texts.”
“Man finds himself in a situation where his heart is trying to rule his head, he needs to take a step back. Get some focus.”
My bottom lip quivers. “Well, while you were getting focused, I was thinking we were over. So I’m moving on. I don’t want to play this game where you keep secrets and pull away, then show up again and think everything will be okay. I need trust, Ray. More than anything else.”
He scrapes a hand through his hair and exhales, his forehead creasing as if he’s in pain. “Last night, I drove around and thought of ways I could keep you safe, starting with finishing the job I’m doing and not taking on anymore. As of this morning, that’s in the works. And I got you this.” He puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out a necklace, dark-colored amber teardrop on a silver chain.
“You got me a present?”
“Didn’t make it, but I thought it matched your eyes.”
My chest tightens with emotion as I take the necklace. “It’s beautiful. I won’t take it off.”
“That’s the idea.” He gestures for me to turn and then clasps the necklace around my neck. The teardrop sits lightly on my skin. I look up and catch Tag watching us. He winks and I bite back a smile.
“Does this mean you’re going to tell me what’s going on?” I say, turning to face him.
He shakes his head. “Better if you don’t know.”
“It has nothing to do with your PI business, does it?”
A pained expression crosses his face. “Sia…”
“What if I guess?”
“I’ll have to lie to you. I don’t want to do that.”