From Sanctum with Love (Masters and Mercenaries #10)(9)

“It’s not,” Kori replied. “Nothing you feel now is stupid and two beers won’t hurt the baby, but not seeing an obstetrician might.”

“You sound like Kai.”

“Don’t tell him I said this but Kai is very often right.” It wouldn’t do to make the man more self-confident. He was already gorgeous and smart and sexy as sin. And a sadist. She was not going there again. Not for anything. “And he’s right about this. You can’t hide from it. You have a decision to make.”

She shook her head. “Seems like the decision’s been made for me. I guess I can’t quit now. I need the health insurance.”

Like she was going to quit in the first place. Kori happened to know that Erin loved McKay-Taggart. She’d found a home here. A lot like Kori had. She’d ended up in Texas because it had seemed about as different from LA as possible. A producer friend of hers, Sullivan Roarke, had called his old buddy Ian Taggart and gotten her a job at Sanctum, which had led to taking the job as Kai’s assistant.

It was far from Hollywood, but she’d made a real place for herself.

“I can make an appointment for you,” she offered. “I’ve heard Charlotte’s OB is very lifestyle friendly.”

Erin took a deep breath. “Yeah, I don’t think I’ll need her understanding about the bumps and bruises that come from playing. I won’t be doing that, but if you don’t mind making the call.”

“I’ll make the call and I’ll go with you.”

Erin shook her head. “Nah. It’s cool. I can handle it. It’s only a baby. I suppose it’s going to get worse around the office now. No one will treat me like they used to. No one jokes with me or f*cks around.”

“You want to be normal. I get it.”

Erin flipped the top of the soda open and took a sip. “Yeah, well, I doubt that.”

She wanted to throw down a “my pain is greater than your pain”? Kori could play that game. “My father had a heart attack in front of me when I was twelve. I was in the car with him. One minute he was talking and the next we were driving off a bridge. You’re not the first person in the world to lose someone and you won’t be the last. I won’t treat you any differently than I did before because I remember so vividly the one thing I craved. Normalcy. I couldn’t have it. Not really. He was there one minute and not the next. He was a constant in my life and then he was gone, so the world couldn’t truly be normal again, but I wanted them to stop looking at me like I was a victim.”

“A widow.” Erin stared straight ahead. “They look at me like I’m a widow, but we weren’t married. It wasn’t that serious. Now I’ve got a decision to make.”

This was where Kai would gently ask her leading questions. He would use that soft voice of his and ease her into a discussion. Kori wasn’t that girl. “Are you high? You were in love with him. Now you’re pregnant. What decision is there to make?”

“I didn’t have a mother,” she said quietly. “She took off and my dad was a shit. I don’t think I’m ready to be someone’s mother.”

“No one is. The good news is you’ve got like seven months or so to start to deal with it.”

“I’m so mad at him.”

“I would be, too.”

Erin turned slightly, giving Kori a disbelieving stare. “You would be pissed off at the angel of McKay-Taggart?”

“That’s what death will do. We take all the annoying things about a person and forget them immediately. And yes, I would be pissed. He died. He wasn’t supposed to do that. He wasn’t supposed to leave you alone and aching, and now he left you to deal with a baby.”

Erin stood, pacing. “Yes, exactly. He’s the reason I’m here. I didn’t want any of this. I didn’t want to buy what he was selling. He was too young for me. What the f*ck was I thinking? And it was his big dick that broke the f*cking condom.” Erin stopped and laughed. “He had a really big dick.” Tears started to leak from her eyes. “I miss him. I don’t want to miss him so much.”

This was what Kai couldn’t do with Erin. He couldn’t push her until she broke. Kori stood and walked to her, wrapping her arms around Erin. “I know you do. I’m so sorry, but I’m also here for you.”

This was what she’d missed those last few years in LA. She’d missed real people. Somehow her whole world at that point had become about the “business,” with everyone concerned about themselves and their careers. It wasn’t all of LA that was bad, but she’d found herself stuck in a group of overly ambitious, greedy people.

She’d been surprised by how much she’d felt when she’d gotten to Dallas. Within a few weeks, she’d started to feel empathy and compassion, and not only for characters she wrote. Somehow, she’d lost her way, and being in this place and with these people helped her get it back.

Just not all the way back. She still didn’t write a damn word.

“Maybe it would be good if you did go with me,” Erin said, moving back. She turned and faced the mirror, grimacing slightly at the way her mascara had run. “Stupid makeup. Why do I bother?”

Kori could handle that. “There’s a box of makeup removing wipes and some little samplers in the drawer.”