From Darkness (Hearts & Arrows Book 3)(13)

He froze, and his hand dropped, the pain forgotten, his lungs empty. “What?” he whispered.

“No,” she said, pointing her finger at him. “That’s all I will say, so don’t even ask me because I will not relive that hell just to bring your sorry ass up to speed. Go read a fucking newspaper.”

His brows dropped even lower. “Now, wait a fucking second—”

“No, I won’t wait a fucking anything for you. Don’t come riding back into town, acting like you have any rights. You and I have nothing to say.”

He stood there stupidly, watching as she turned, her hair snapping around her like a whip, remembering himself just in time to reach out and grab her. She stopped and turned but jerked her arm from his grip.

“Hang on one goddamn minute, Josie. You don’t get to unload on me like that without letting me say my piece.”

Her jaw was set, her nostrils flaring as she sucked in a breath and blew it out through her nose. She didn’t speak, which he took as all the permission he’d get.

“First of all, if you had gotten that letter, you would know that Tori and I never got back together. I took her to New Orleans, so we could have a shot at saving money and so she could go to school. Second, when I was with you, it was only you.” I wanted forever, he thought, but he pressed on, knowing the clock was ticking. “And I have been waiting on an answer to that letter for the last three years. I thought you didn’t want anything to do with me because of Tori.”

“You’d have been right.”

“But not in the way I thought. And not for the reason you thought.” He searched her face as she staggered through the realization. “I’m not with her, and I haven’t been, not since before you and I were together. I wanted to work things out with you, but I thought…I thought when you didn’t answer, it meant you didn’t want me. I…I didn’t know what I was doing.”

“Clearly.”

They stared at each other for a moment, and he didn’t know what else he could say. He finally landed on the one thing he’d been waiting to tell her for three years. “Josie, I’m sorry.”

“That doesn’t change anything. None of this changes anything.” She said it like she was trying to convince herself, her eyes glistening as they welled with tears.

“That’s not true.”

“It is for me.”

His eyes were locked on hers, and he knew her words were a lie. She still cared, maybe just as much as he did.

“I don’t believe you.”

“Just who in the fuck do you think you are?” She backed away, her lip cranked up in disgust, her voice trembling. “Do me a favor, Jon. Stay away from me.”

He almost stopped her again when she spun around and took off. He had a hundred questions, a million things to say, but he just stood there like a fool on the sidewalk, rubbing his jaw as he watched her go.

All those years, she’d believed he was with Tori, that they were a happy little family. That she wasn’t important enough for him to even say goodbye when the truth was that it was the exact opposite. She hadn’t called because she didn’t know to, and that simple fact brought him enormous relief.

And with that relief was foolish hope that he could find a way to mend what he’d broken.



Jon’s eyes clicked back into focus when he blinked. He’d walked away that day reeling, trying to make sense of the truth, which had ended up being so far from what he’d thought for three full years. And it had all been a misunderstanding.

He couldn’t undo the damage, but he could try to win her back. All he had to do was give her time and space. All he had to do was be there, waiting.

He knew Josie well, knew how to handle her. She wasn’t one for grand gestures, especially not when she was pissed. Those chocolates would go straight down the garbage disposal, and the flowers would endure a full assault with a pair of scissors.

No, step one in winning Josie over was to leave her alone.

A month had gone by, and he’d run into her a handful of times. The first time he’d seen her after their fight, she’d apologized curtly for hitting him and shut him down hard when he attempted to talk about anything deeper than the weather. Every time they met, she would relax more and more until they were finally able to be civil, even joke around. When they’d been after Chester, he’d seen the silver lining. It was the friendliest she’d been.

But she had changed, closed herself off, and he didn’t believe it was just him she’d locked out. She had been hurt, and that hurt had hardened her to the point that the woman he had known was almost gone completely.

Almost, but not quite. He could still feel her, still see glimpses of who she had been. And he wanted to set that part of her free again. If it was in his power, he would.

It always took him a full twenty-four hours to get over seeing her. The cooling-off period was also accompanied by a deep-seated desire to get his feelings down on paper.

Seeing her was thrilling and heartbreaking, a war of emotions that blew through him and left him spinning. He’d throw on a smile and hide his pain behind his charm, hoping that, if he said the right thing, he could find a way back into her good graces, but she kept him just far enough away that he couldn’t get to her. He’d do what he could to make her laugh, but every moment would slip away too soon, and the hurt and disappointment in her bottomless brown eyes would cut through him again and again.