Frenemies(57)

I wasn’t holding my breath.

However, I was not dressed to hide my head in shame. I had a rule about stilettos, and it was this: I didn’t wear them unless I planned to kick ass in them. Stilettos were for striding and sauntering, never skulking.

I straightened up from the wall and tossed my head back. I reminded myself that I had a mission. I made my way through the crowd, smiling at the faces I recognized—the faces I would have to think about cultivating further, if I was truly as friendless as I felt—and kept my eyes peeled. It took about six seconds of reconnaissance work to locate Nate and Helen in the kitchen. I settled myself near the bar set up in the living room and then I waited. About ten minutes later, Nate wandered out on a refill run, as I’d known he would.

His eyes met mine and he smiled.

“Gus!” he said, as if he was delighted to see me. I felt relief trickle across my skin, and smiled back.

“I’m glad you’re here,” I told him. “I really wanted to talk to you.”

“Things got a little out of control,” he replied. He shook his head. “You know how she can be.” The look in his eyes invited me in, to join in the conspiratorial laugh at Helen’s expense. I don’t know why I didn’t.

“That night,” I said instead, getting right to the point. “All those messages. What did you want to talk about?”

“I still want to talk about it,” he said, still smiling. “But I’m not sure this is the place, you know? I don’t want to be interrupted. It’s too bad you weren’t around that night.”

My stomach twisted in remorse. He had been so close. He had been right outside while I was playing out revenge fantasies with his roommate. I couldn’t believe that was it for us. I had to believe there’d be a second chance. I had to—or all of it meant nothing. We were just something he could end whenever he felt like it.

“You can give me the CliffsNotes version,” I suggested. “So I know what we’re dealing with.”

Nate opened his mouth to respond, but closed it again when Henry came up beside him, smirk at the ready.

“A librarian encouraging the use of CliffsNotes?” Henry mocked me. “I’m shocked to the core.”

I had to take a moment to let the impact of seeing him ease a little bit. I was always so surprised by how blue his eyes were, and how easily he held himself. It was easy to get caught up in the way he looked at me, particularly when it occurred to me that he wasn’t off-limits any longer. It made my knees feel a little wobbly. I had to shake it off, and focus.

“Another beer?” Nate asked Henry, for all the world as if Henry hadn’t just interrupted an important conversation. I was still reeling from realizations I wasn’t ready to investigate too closely, so I decided to concentrate on one thing at a time. First I had to figure out what had happened with Nate. It had consumed me for too long to give up now. Only when I did that could I think about what a Henry who wasn’t off-limits might mean.

“Nate and I were sort of talking,” I told him. I didn’t like the look that came across his face then, nor the tightness around his mouth.

“A trip down memory lane?” he asked. I wasn’t at all fooled by the light tone. “I can think of a few fantastic moments to add to that.”

“Except no one asked you for your contribution,” I snapped at him.

“I have a great memory,” he snapped right back. “I bet I can remember every single time you—”

“Told you to shut up?” I finished for him. “Here’s another one to add to the collection. Shut up, Henry!”

My voice had gone up at the end there, which I noticed only because I could hear it echoing in my ears. Henry and I glared at each other. He looked like he wanted to personally kill me.

“What’s up with the two of you?” Nate asked, reminding me that he was there. I jerked my attention away from Henry to see Nate studying us, his dark eyes flicking from Henry’s face to mine and then back again.

“Nothing,” I said, trying desperately to sound blasé. “Henry’s just being his usual obnoxious self.”

“While Gus has taken it to a whole new level,” Henry replied.

“And I’m about to take it somewhere else,” Helen snapped from Nate’s elbow, where it seemed to me she appeared in a flash of smoke, but that could have been the hysteria flooding my brain.

“Baby!” Nate said in the same tone of delight he’d used before. On me.

The exact same tone.

“Don’t you ‘baby’ me!” Helen snapped. “What the hell are you doing?”

With her ire focused on Nate, I had a moment to breathe and take in the scene. The bizarre love triangle that was really more of a love rectangle. Henry looked furious—and it was all directed at me. Helen was ripping Nate a new one. I thought I should feel something about one or both of these things, but all I could think about was the fact that Nate had used the exact same tone with me.

Has it ever occurred to you to wonder what his plan was? Georgia had asked. Was he just going to keep seeing both of you?

The answer hit me then, like an unexpected wave of icy cold water across the bow. I actually took a step back.

Right in front of me, Nate was appeasing Helen. I recognized the tilt of his head, the encouraging smile, the twinkle in his dark eyes that told her she was the only one who got him. I recognized it because I’d seen them before. Directed at me instead of her. I recognized that easy, conspiratorial, intimate voice, too. I’d heard it on my voice mail.