Frayed Silk(50)

He does, tears escaping and running freely down his cheeks. I lean in, kissing them and licking them up one by one. “I love you,” is all I say.

It’s all he needs to hear. He hooks an arm around my waist, grabbing me and holding me tight to his chest. I continue kissing his face as he stands, carrying me back upstairs to our room. I wrap my legs around his waist, and he takes a seat on the bed with me in his lap. His arms constrict around me as he shoves his head into my neck and lets it all out. I wrap my arms around his back, kissing his neck and trying to stop my own tears from falling. It’s no use, though, because they keep coming anyway. It’s hard to stop them when my husband is holding onto me for dear life, his big body shaking with the force of his torment.

He keeps repeating the same thing. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

And so do I. “It’s not your fault. I love you.”

After a while, he finally pulls back, and I use my hands to wipe some of the wetness from his face. “Why don’t you hate me?” he rasps.

Smiling sadly, I lean in to kiss his nose. “I’ve wanted to, believe me. But I won’t hate you for this, never this.”

He rests his forehead against mine. “Don’t fucking break my heart again, Lia. I won’t survive it.”

“I’m sorry, so damn sorry. I won’t. Never again.” I hope he hears the truth and the conviction in my voice. “But please, don’t leave me. You can’t shut me out like that again.”

His eyes soften, and he leans in, skimming his lips over mine. I sigh, my whole body relaxing into the familiar feel of them. It feels like coming home after being locked outside for too long. I tilt my head, tentatively opening my mouth to take the kiss deeper. He groans, opening my robe wide and causing the satin material to slide down my arms as he skims his hands up my bare back. Goose bumps rise in their wake then he squeezes my ass, licking my top lip and causing my breathing to pick up.

“I didn’t think I could touch you,” he says into my mouth. “Or that I could let you touch me.”

My fingers pause in their exploration of his thick hair as I pull back a little. “We don’t have to,” I say quietly. I want this, more than I’ve ever wanted anything in so long, but I won’t push him.

He shakes his head. “No, I want to. I need to,” he declares.

I stare into his eyes, into the silent fear that lurks there. But behind it, I see the longing, that quiet desperation that’s fighting for dominance, and I make my decision. I move my mouth back to his, gently kissing his bottom lip and letting my fingers sink into his hair.

He exhales heavily, his chest heaving up and down as his hold on my ass tightens and his tongue dives into my mouth. Our lips, teeth, and tongues dance a familiar rhythm, our hearts pounding against each other’s chests. He tears his lips away, turning me until I’m on my back in the middle of the bed and then stripping out of his clothes.

I watch, hoping that he’s ready for this, and that we’re doing the right thing. But when his body covers mine, his arms flexing as he holds himself above me and looks down at me with love burning brightly in his blue eyes, I don’t know how this could ever be wrong.

“I’ve missed you,” he says, raking his eyes down my body. He leans on one arm and softly, hesitantly, trails his fingers over my breast. Then leans in to kiss my nipple with a gentleness that sets my emotions into orbit and ignites a burn between my thighs. I lie still, letting him look and touch, watching him kiss a path over my stomach until he reaches my mound. He spreads my legs roughly, nostrils flaring as he looks up at me from between them. And I see it, that recognition, the anger that someone else touched me there.

He covers me with his whole hand, glaring up at me while I try not to shake from the intensity of my shame, of my betrayal, and this burning need to finally have him again.

“This is mine, Lia. Don’t fucking test me on that again.” He nips the inside of my thigh, making me yelp and causing wetness to pool at my center. He smiles, but it’s cruel. “You like that, don’t you?”

He removes his hand and leans down on his elbows to spread me open with both hands. He tilts his head. “I think you do. Did he touch you here?”

“Leo.” I whimper when he keeps his eyes pinned between my legs and slowly trails a finger from my clit down to my entrance, teasing it before dipping his finger into his mouth. “Fuck,” he rasps then his mouth is on me, and my back is arching off the bed as his tongue laves at my entrance. Moaning loudly, I reach down to grab his hair. His tongue moves up to my clit, flicking it softly as his finger enters me, and he slowly fucks me with it.

“Leo …” I pant his name again when I feel myself creeping closer to the edge. But he doesn’t stop, just flicks his tongue harder, swirling it around and hooking his finger inside me. I explode, shaking as bright lights flash across my vision. My legs wrap around his head, and I grind myself into his face.

“Mine.” He tears my thighs from around his head and takes a long lick up my center, causing an aftershock that echoes throughout my entire body. Then he’s climbing over me, his head going to my neck to suck and kiss a path up to my ear. “I was tested,” he says before his biceps bunch next to my head, and he thrusts inside me.

“Oh, fuck,” I hiss. The invasion is more than welcome, but it’s been so long, I need time to adjust.