Forever for a Year(9)

Even though I really did feel sick and about to die, I ALSO felt, and this is so lame to admit, that I was actually cool for just being there, near Katherine and Shannon and all of them. That just by being included in their little lunch table atmosphere, I was, like, one of them. Anointed cool. And I thought people could see us there and would think we were special. So LAME, right? But I couldn’t help it. It’s just what I felt.

Katherine said to Shannon and the others, “Peggy’s my sister, so if you want to come to our parties and for me to introduce you to junior guys, you have to be friends with her. And Carrie’s her best friend. So you have to be friends with her too. One more thing. Call them Marguerite and Carolina. Okay?” Katherine pronounced my name like the state (Caroliiina) and not how I like it (Caroleena), but I didn’t correct her because I didn’t want her to kill me.

All the girls nodded, except Shannon Shunton.

“SHANNON!” her sister Elizabeth yelled from down the table, where she sat with a pack of junior girls, who all looked like they should be in college or working at the Macy’s perfume department. Elizabeth and Katherine were best friends. Probably because they were both very pretty, popular, and liked to yell so loud it made your body convulse.

Shannon Shunton finally smiled and said, “Great, can’t wait.” What she really meant, obviously, is “Not great, could wait forever,” but Peggy said thanks so I did too, and then there was the most awkward moment. Like, were we supposed to sit down and start talking? Or leave? Or make plans? Or exchange phone numbers? Or just wait in silence? Which is what we did, until Katherine yelled, “Stop standing around like freaks! Go to class already.” Peggy and I quickly scooted back and made for the exit. Then Katherine must have felt bad because she started yelling at Shannon, Emma, Jean, Raina, and Wanda too.

“That was…” Peggy said as we left the cafeteria. For the breath it took her to finish her sentence, I wanted her to say, “That was stupid; let’s totally not be friends with them,” but then I realized how much I liked the idea of other people knowing we were friends with Shannon Shunton. Which is sick. Just sick. So sick. Why am I so sick? Then Peggy finished her sentence, “… so amazing.” “Amazing” was Peggy’s favorite word. It was mine too. I want to use it less, though. Feels too immature, I think. Don’t you?

Except then I said, “It was amazing,” and giggled, and then I saw Kendra walking by herself to class and thought we should make Shannon be friends with Kendra too. But I stopped thinking about Kendra when I saw the new boy walking down the hall with Henry McCarthy, who dated Shannon Shunton in seventh grade and was not very attractive, but he was still the most popular boy all through junior high.

Not that I was surprised. Obviously, the new boy would already be friends with the popular boys. Obviously. Obviously. Obviously.

Wait a minute. I might be popular soon too, right? So that means the new boy and I could …

But then I stopped thinking these stupid things. Sooo stupid. High school and popularity is sooo stupid. I want to be grown-up and mature and never have to stress about this relationship stuff ever again. Ever. So I made a vow to think only about school the rest of the day. I’m usually pretty disciplined when I make a vow.

*

Sixth period was algebra. Having a boring class, like math, after lunch is the worst. Even though I’m a really good student, I really am, it’s sooo hard not to fall asleep after lunch. My dad says they should give nap periods at school, and at work for adults. I told him naps are for little kids. But my head kept nodding during algebra anyway.

Seventh period was health class, which you only had to take for one semester. It was an elective, but only sort of since you had to take it by the end of sophomore year. So I just decided to take it right away. Why postpone things? The teacher, Mrs. Maya, went over the syllabus and said yes, we would be talking about sex, and then everybody giggled, even the sophomores in our class. And then she said, “I’m even going to use the words ‘penis’ and ‘vagina.’” And then everyone laughed, but not the sophomores as much. And then she said, “Let’s all say those words now so we can get the giggles out on the first day. First, let’s all say ‘penis.’ One, two, three,” and half the class said “penis” and half the class just laughed. I said it, obviously, because I’m mature for my age. Sort of. Then Mrs. Maya counted down and everyone said “vagina,” even the still-giggling freshmen.

Well, everyone except the new boy. He didn’t laugh or giggle or say the words. Luckily, I had not thought of him since I made my vow. I barely even noticed he was in the class. That’s just a fact. I’m glad I’m not going to be one of those girls that goes boy bonkers and thinks dating is more important than school because it would be embarrassing to be in health class with him and have to talk about sex.

When the bell rang, I decided to look toward the new boy because, well, just because. But he ignored me, probably because by now he’s figured out he’s too cool to even be my friend.

Which is fine. Totally. Because I don’t care. I don’t! Really.

*

Eighth period was gym class for athletes. So if your sport is in season, like football players in the fall, you just go to the locker room and head out to the field. Since girls’ soccer isn’t until spring, Kendra, Peggy, and I had club team Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and then study hall on Tuesday and Thursday.