Forever Mine: Callaghan Brothers, Book 9(76)

Kathleen was there for all of it, in his heart and theirs, filled with the same pride and love for them she’d always had. He didn’t worry so much about them, knowing their mother was keeping a special eye on them.

Now they were grown men with families of their own.

But through it all, he never forgot what she’d said to him that night.

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October 2015

Pine Ridge

“You lied, Kathleen,” Jack whispered into the empty room.

“I didn’t lie to you, Jack. Not intentionally.”

Jack didn’t need to open his eyes to see her. Happier visions of Kathleen filled his mind, wiping away the image of her on that hospital bed. Kathleen at eighteen, approaching him at that block party so many years ago. Looking lovingly into his eyes at their wedding. Catching him staring at her while reading bedtime stories to the boys.

They’d had so little time together, but the time they did have were still the best years of his life. What they’d lacked in quantity, they’d had in quality.

“You said you’d be fine. You weren’t.” It was only afterward that he’d realized how wrong he’d been in thinking that pneumonia was no longer a deadly killer. That in viral form, antibiotics were useless against it. That sometimes, modern medicine was no more effective than the bloodletting treatments of two hundred years ago.

“No,” she agreed. “I wasn’t.”

“You should have taken better care of yourself. I should have taken better care of you.” The familiar ache in his chest flared, slicing deep along his still-healing wounds, twenty-five years later. All of the ‘should haves’ and ‘what-ifs’ billowed beneath the wires holding his breastbone together.

“Don’t do this, Jack.” He felt her touch on his cheek, a feather light echo of what it had once been.

But he was already too far along the path to turn back. Hearing her, being so damn close to seeing her again brought it all to the surface again. “I shouldn’t have gone on the mission. I should have stayed home and helped with the boys. Helped you.”

Kathleen shook her head. “It was my time. You needed to save Brian.”

Jack grunted derisively. “Are you telling me that you weren’t needed? That’s why you were taken away? Goddamn it, Kathleen! I needed you. Your boys needed you.”

“There’s a reason for everything. Every life is a critical link in a chain of events that you can’t begin to comprehend.”

“You’re right, I don’t understand at all. Because it makes no fucking sense.”

“Death is a part of life, Jack. There is no getting around that.”

“No,” he reluctantly agreed, “but why you? Why not me?” He’d come close to death so many times, been in situations where death was more likely than survival, and yet he’d been spared.

“Because you weren’t finished with what you had to do. You and the boys became the men you were meant to be. Fine, honorable men who have touched innumerable lives.”

“And what?” he scoffed, rubbing his chest as the pressure continued to build. “You’re saying that wouldn’t have happened if you’d been here? Bullshite.”

Rather than be upset with him, she smiled at him, that same indulgent smile she had for him whenever he was being obstinate. “I have always been with you, you know that. Have faith, Jack. It will all make sense someday. And be patient.”

Be patient. He’d been patient long enough and he told her so. He was ready, so ready.

“Now is the perfect time. The boys are grown, with croies and children of their own. They no longer need me.”

“Aye, they do, even if they don’t realize it.”

“For what? They see me as an old man, someone who needs coddling.”

She laughed softly. “No, Jack, they don’t. Until recently, you’ve been invincible in their eyes. Realizing you’re not has been a wake-up call, and that’s a scary thing for them. They might be grown men, but you are, and always will be, their father.”

There was some logic to that, he supposed, but it didn’t change the way he felt. The pressure in his chest continued to build until he could no longer draw a full breath; rather than fight it, he welcomed it.

“I miss you, Kathleen. I want to be with you again.”

“You will be,” she promised. “But not yet.”

“When?”

“Soon.”

“How soon?”

“Soon.” She brushed a kiss across his forehead and laid her hand upon his chest until the pain subsided into the familiar, empty ache. “I love you, mo croie beloved. And I’m waiting for you.”

“I love you, too.”

He exhaled, the oppressive weight on his chest now gone. It seemed he would be sticking around for a bit longer, after all. “Tell me, Kathleen. Will we be able to make love again?” he asked wistfully.

She gave him a wicked smile that put his healing heart to the test. “Why do you think they call it Heaven? Trust me, Jack. Only a little while longer, and then you and I will have the rest of eternity together.”

The rest of eternity sounded like a good start.

“Promise?”

“Yes, absolutely. And until then, I am always in your heart, as you are in mine.”