Flutter (My Blood Approves #3)(3)

“I’ll talk to him. You take care of her.” Mae nodded towards me.

She hurried after Ezra, and Jack turned to me. He looked at me for a moment, trying to think of precisely what he wanted to say to me, and I took a deep breath before he could mount his argument.

“You’re not going to talk me out of this, Jack.”

I brushed past him so I could run upstairs to my room, to our room, but both he and Milo followed right on my trail. With my quick, clumsy steps, it was amazing that I didn’t fall down the stairs, and if I had, that would’ve done very little for my case.

Jack had been sleeping in Ezra’s den downstairs since I had turned, but all his things were still in here. The closet was full of both our clothes, and my wardrobe had expanded since I had moved in. Ezra and Mae had set me up with an expense account and credit cards a few weeks ago, and my new, trimmer vampire body required all new clothes.

I went into the massive walk-in closet, rummaging around for bags. Jack had hot pink luggage, but I didn’t have time to question it and pulled them out. Jack stood in the doorway, and Milo was behind him, both of them glaring at me.

“You’re actually packing?” Milo asked. “You can’t really be considering going with Ezra.”

“He’s right. This is stupid,” Jack agreed. “It’s ridiculous and dangerous, and you don’t even know where you’re going. How can you even pack for that?”

“Ezra said to pack for the cold,” I reminded them.

I loaded my bag with sweaters and jeans and socks. Vampires didn’t really feel cold, and in fact, we preferred it to heat. But if we were to walk around in a blizzard wearing a tee shirt and shorts, humans would question it, so we dressed to fit in.

“Jack, just forbid her from going or something!” Milo said.

“I can’t forbid her from doing anything,” Jack replied tiredly, but he definitely wished he could. “And if I tried, it would just make her want to do it more.”

I threw a pair of boots in the bag and then struggled to zip it up. Obviously, I was much stronger than the stupid metal zipper, but I hadn’t figured out how to use my strength at all.

“Here.” Jack knelt on the floor next to me so he could zip up my bag for me.

“Thank you.”

“Alice, why do you even wanna go?” Jack asked.

“He didn’t do anything wrong,” I told him quietly, and he rolled his eyes.

“He tried to kill you, Alice!” Jack shouted.

“He didn’t mean to,” I insisted, and that was only half a lie.

Peter never really wanted to hurt me, but he didn’t know what to do about anything. When I asked him to end my life, he refused, so I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood, and I knew that he wouldn’t be able to reject biting me then. I had forced him into it, and Jack rushed in to stop him from finishing the job.

“But he did, Alice! All he ever did was push you away and treat you like crap and almost kill you! What about that is so endearing to you?”

“He didn’t ask for any of this, Jack! He didn’t ask to feel the way he did about me, and he just wanted it to stop! And now he’s alone and suicidal somewhere because of me! I can’t just let him die!”

My intensity only hurt and bewildered Jack more. He leaned back, resting against a row of shelves filled with his Converse. His face had gone lax, and I knew he had resigned himself to me going, but that didn’t mean he felt okay about it.

“Jack, listen to me.” I took his hand, and his sad, blue eyes met mine. “Ezra’s not going to let anything bad happen to me. And I love you, okay?”

“I don’t want you to go, Alice,” Jack said simply. “Please, if you love me, don’t go.”

Seeing him like that, so desperate for me to stay, broke my heart. I never wanted to hurt him. If Ezra shot me down, I wouldn’t have fought to go, but he agreed, so he thought that I could help. If causing Jack a few moments of misery would save Peter’s life, then so be it.

“I’m sorry, Jack.”

Downstairs, Ezra called my name and said we had to get going. I pursed my lips, watching Jack. Part of me expected him to yell and demand that I stay, but that was never his style. He lowered his eyes and rubbed his thumb along the back of my hand, making my skin tremble.

“I’ll drive you,” Jack whispered and got to his feet.

“What?” Milo asked incredulously. “You’re just letting her go?”

Jack still held my hand, so he helped me to my feet. He leaned over and picked up my bag so he could carry it downstairs.

“What am I supposed to do?” Jack gave Milo a helpless shrug as we walked past him.

“I told you! Forbid her from going!” Milo grew nervous and fidgety, traits that were increasingly uncommon with his new-found vampire confidence.

“Yeah, you try forbidding her,” Jack muttered.

He held my hand as we went downstairs where Mae and Ezra waited with his luggage. On the table, a small duffel bag was full of special containers.

We survived mostly on blood donations, thanks to a set of clinics they ran similar to the Red Cross. People donated blood thinking it was for blood transfusions in humans, but really, they were sustaining almost the entire species of vampires.

When traveling with blood, we used special equipment. Airport security would find it suspect if Ezra boarded the plane with bags of blood. He used metal cans that looked like shaving cream, lined to make it impossible for dogs to sniff out. We could each only take one can with us, but it just had to be enough to last me the flight. We’d get more when we landed.