First Debt (Indebted #2)(62)

He jerked. “Goodbye?” His knuckles went white as his hands clenched into fists. “To whom?”

My eyes tightened, trying to read him. He played the perfect part. If he knew Kestrel messaged me, he hid his deception so well—too well. The perfect liar.

“To my past, to who I used to be, to a friend called Kite.”

The reaction was subtle.

The small intake of breath. The slight whitening of his face. The indiscernible flinch of his muscles.

Then it was gone, hidden beneath the snowy exterior he held so well. “Ah yes, the James Bond idiot, 007. The same idiot who just can’t seem to stop messaging you.” Moving quickly, he grabbed my elbow, dragging me toward the door. “Well, I’m glad you said your goodbyes. Nothing worse than dying with unfinished business.” His smile sent gale-force winds howling through my suddenly torn-open chest.

I slammed to a halt. “You can’t help yourself, can you?”

He paused, forehead furrowed.

“You just have to be so damn cruel.”

He sighed dramatically, backing me away from the door and toward the centre of the room again. “I’m not cruel.”

I laughed. “Says the heartless human who probably doesn’t have a reflection when he stares in the mirror.”

He took another threatening step. I took one, too. Backing away from him, waltzing slowly around the room as hunter and prey.

“You’re saying I’m soulless?”

I nodded. “Completely soulless.”

He smirked. “Okay, try me. Ask me to do something. Make me prove to you that I have a soul.”

I frowned. “Like what?”

He took another step, pressing me closer to the bed. The anger throbbing around him switched to sexual interest. My breathing picked up as his golden eyes darkened. “You’re the one who needs proof, Ms. Weaver. You make the choice.”

What could I make him do?

What would prove he had a heart and my resolution to seduce him would actually work?

I know.

The one thing that seemed to be the epicentre of whatever I was trying to do.

I stopped retreating, locking my knees to prevent myself from losing confidence and running. “I have something. A test. It will prove you’re not the monster I think you are.”

He came closer, a slow smile spreading his lips. “Go on.”

I balled my hands, taking a deep breath. The precipice opened wide. I took a leap of faith and leapt. “Kiss me.”

The oxygen in the room disappeared. My heart erupted into flurries.

Jethro froze. “Excuse me?”

Standing tall, I said, “You’ve come so close to kissing me. By the stables, in the forest, when you made me pay the First Debt, even in your office. I’m done with your teasing, Jethro. I’m done with you pulling away whenever things get interesting. I want to know why.”

Jethro’s hands clenched by his sides. “And you think a stupid kiss will prove—what will it prove?”

I narrowed my eyes. “That you’re not as cold as you think you are. That you do care—care enough to be affected by kissing your arch enemy.”

Jethro laughed, but it was laced with uncertainty and…was that fear? “I’m not kissing you to prove such a ridiculous point.”

I splayed my hands, mocking him. “You said you’d do anything I asked.”

He chuckled softly. “I said something worthwhile.”

“Kissing me isn’t worthwhile?”

His gaze latched onto mine. A second ticked past. Another.

Then he lost his icy shell. “What the f*ck do you want from me, Nila?”

My heart stopped.

Nila.

He’d called me Nila.

I’d won. I’d somehow made him say my name.

My heart winged just as surely as my core flickered with desire.

Say it again.

Let me hear the bliss of winning.

Jethro’s eyes widened, noticing his slip, then furious temper etched his face. He stormed forward, threading his fingers around my throat. The smooth edges of his control were now jagged with temper.

I backed up until the bed stopped my escape. Jethro followed, his fingers tightening around my neck. “Tell me, goddammit. What the f*ck are you trying to do?”

My heart hurt at the indecipherable expression in his gaze. He hid himself so well. The brief flashes of truth I’d gleaned didn’t add up. I was fishing for something that didn’t exist.

It does exist. Keep pushing.

My eyes were heavy, body pulsing with rapidly building lust. “I just want….”

There was no point to this argument. It was over before it began.

“I need…”

To know you are capable of caring, just a little.

For you to want me, just a little.

For you to find something inside me that prevents you from killing me.

It was like wishing for Pegasus to fly in and whisk me away. I wouldn’t get anything I wished for. Whatever I felt for Jethro was misplaced, ill-advised, and false. I’d seen him hunt me. I’d seen his cold enjoyment of talking about taking my life. Everything else that I thought I’d seen had been a lie.

He breathed hard, his scent of woods and leather surrounding me.

My hands flew up to hold his, trying to pry his fingers off. “Just…forget it. Let me go. Forget I was stupid enough to say anything.”