Firebreak (Josie Gray Mysteries #4)(70)
“I wouldn’t know where to begin.” She seemed lost and overwhelmed and Josie wondered if she would be able to provide the honest answers needed.
“I want to understand why Ferris was attracted to Billy. I need to understand what Billy thought of Ferris. I need to know if their relationship was causing problems for other people, maybe other band members. I’d like for you to tell me their story so I can pull out the details that may help us make sense of their deaths.”
Brenda stood and walked to the coffeemaker by the TV. She took the carafe, filled it with water in the bathroom, and came back, busying herself as she began to talk.
“In a matter of days I’ve discovered that almost everything I think about myself and my family, everything that I believed in, was wrong,” she said. “It’s not just Billy, either. It’s my own family. Patty and I spent the last two days sitting in this hotel room telling the truth. Not what we thought needed to be said. Just the truth. It was the most revealing conversation of my life.”
Brenda took a deep breath and sat back down in her seat, looking at Josie now. “I left my family because I didn’t think they wanted me. I was twenty years old. I knew I couldn’t sing or play an instrument like the rest of them. I always felt like a misfit. Like they were ashamed of me, and they didn’t know what to do with me. Patty said she thought it was jealousy on my part. My sisters thought I was jealous of the rest of the family, and I put such a distance between us that they didn't know how to talk to me.” She was quiet for a moment. “Looking back on it, I think she’s right about the jealousy. I miss my family. I miss my sisters. And I think they miss me too.” Brenda shut her eyes as if she might cry again but no tears came. “All these years without my family.”
“What did your family think about Billy? Were they fans?” Josie asked.
She smiled a little. “Patty said the family used to joke about me coming back to manage them. They claimed if I could make Billy a star that I could manage anyone.”
Josie was taken aback that Brenda didn’t appear angry at the harsh opinion of Billy.
Brenda waved off Josie’s surprised expression. “Here’s what I’ve known for a long time, but never allowed myself to really acknowledge. I worked a lot harder at Billy’s career than he did. He was a country musician because it was a job. He had someone making his decisions for him: telling him when to show up, what to wear, where to be, and what songs to sing when he got there.” She was quiet a moment, her expression grim, as if she wasn’t sure if she should go on. “Billy wasn’t a thinker. He needed someone to do that for him. I don’t know if he really wanted a wife, but he needed a manager. And I came as a package deal.”
“The rumors about Billy and Ferris. Had you heard them?”
“Please.” She made a dismissive face. “People are so cruel. They love to humiliate. Better yet, they love to knock you down a notch. One of the waitresses at the Hell-Bent pulled me aside one night when the band was onstage. She actually had me follow her outside behind the kitchen. It was dark out. I could hear the band pounding out a Waylon Jennings song inside. The crowd was crazy—it was a good night. And she stands right next to me and puts her hand on my shoulder and says, ‘Honey, I’m telling you this as a friend. For your own good.’” Brenda tipped her head down and looked at Josie to make sure she knew the truth.
“She was no friend,” Josie said.
“Exactly. She tells me that Billy and Ferris are lovers. That was the term she used. I could have thrown up right there. Until that moment I had known Ferris had a thing for Billy, like a fan thing, but nothing more. I knocked the woman’s hand off my shoulder and went back inside.”
“Do you think there was any truth to the rumors?”
Brenda shrugged, almost imperceptibly, and took a moment to continue. “I don’t know if they actually were lovers, like she suggested. But I know Billy went to Presidio to visit Ferris on several occasions, and then lied to me about it. He called Ferris daily when he wasn’t around. I honestly couldn’t tell you what the attraction was. I found Ferris to be obnoxious and not terribly good-looking.”
“I’ve heard Ferris stroked Billy’s ego, told him how wonderful he was. Did you see that?”
She choked out a laugh. “It was disgusting. All the time. Billy was so gifted. An incredible performer. Ferris would tell him he was going to be a megastar. He’d be top ten on CMT.” Brenda shook her head. “You know what pissed me off? Ferris and I both knew Billy wasn’t gifted. He was good. And he looked the part. And he had a good band to back him up. With the right set of circumstances Billy could have made it in Nashville. But Ferris’s fawning all over him was not helpful.”
“Do you have any idea who could have killed Ferris?”
Brenda looked at her for a long moment. “I could have killed him, but I didn’t. As far as who else hated him as much as I did? I can’t answer that.”
“Do you have any idea why he would have been at your home the night of the evacuation?”
“I don’t know. He knew we were leaving. Billy told him. I honestly don’t know why he would have come to our home.”
Josie noted that this was new information—she hadn’t known that Billy had told Ferris they were leaving—but she saw no benefit to questioning Brenda about the omission at this point. “Could he have been looking for something?”