Fireblood (Frostblood Saga #2)(69)

“So the queen has no heir,” I finally prompted when I was ready to hear more.

“Had no heir,” he corrected.

I stopped cold. “Wait a minute. This isn’t a surprise to you, is it? You knew when you came to Tempesia?”

“I didn’t know… but I did wonder. I heard the stories of the Fireblood girl who destroyed the throne and I contemplated the level of power required for such a feat. It was a reasonable theory.”

“Did anyone else wonder if I could be the princess? Did the queen?”

“Perhaps she did, secretly. Maybe she didn’t dare hope. We didn’t discuss it. In any case, she decided you would be a valuable ally and sent me to… come to terms with you.” He paused and added in a more subdued tone, “She trusted me for the task, despite my failure of the trials. I never once defied her or spoke against her, even after she took my family’s island away.”

I wanted to ask why he hadn’t defied her, and if he’d wanted to. What did he wish he could have done? But I had other more pressing questions. “So you heard about the ball and decided to pretend you belonged there.”

“It didn’t take too much convincing to get the dignitary to let me go instead and to provide the necessary proof of my identity.”

“You did look very at home at the ball.”

“Not my first ball, I assure you. The only shock was when I saw you.”

I jerked my head up to look at him. “Why was it a shock?”

“Well, you were practically coated in powdered sugar, for one thing. I’d expected you to have learned at least some basic manners.”

I jabbed his middle with my elbow and he laughed as he pushed me away. “Actually, I saw the resemblance to your mother. There’s a portrait of her in the queen’s castle, painted when she was about your age, I would say.”

“I never thought I looked much like her.” Pain lashed through me. I wished so much that I could look at her right now, that she was here to discount these claims, to tell me what to do. How had she hidden her gift so well? Why hadn’t she instructed me on how to master mine, and instead seemed nervous, almost ashamed, of my gift at times? And worst of all, if she’d been a Fireblood, why hadn’t she defended herself when the soldiers came? I couldn’t bear to think she had hidden a gift that could have saved her life. I couldn’t bear it.

The obvious answer was that Mother hadn’t been a Fireblood at all, which meant she wasn’t the lost princess. She was just a simple healer who preferred solitude. My grandmother certainly hadn’t been a queen. I could still remember every patch on her colorful cloak, which she’d repaired with whatever scrap of fabric was at hand as she traveled the world. She was an eccentric wanderer who blew in and out of our lives as the whim took her.

Relief washed away the pain and doubt. That was the simplest explanation. Resemblances happened all the time. It didn’t have to mean anything. Let Kai think what he wanted. I knew the truth. They had made a mistake. I wanted to argue it out with him, but then he might have some counterargument that might make me doubt myself again.

And then my whole identity would go spinning into oblivion. I wasn’t ready for that. Instead, I asked him how he’d managed to agree to the engagement when he’d left me late the previous night.

“They came for me this morning,” he said, peering up at the cloudless blue sky. “Well before dawn. I’d barely slept because I was worried about our third trial. When Master Dallr brought me to the throne room, and the queen said I merely had to give her the right answer to a question, I was relieved. After all, I wouldn’t have to hurt anyone I cared about.”

“Until you found out she intended to foist a fate worse than death on you,” I said, attempting a light tone.

“I don’t know that it’s worse than death. I did point out that my second chance was contingent upon you passing the trials and that you hadn’t passed yours yet. She said, ‘Her success depends on yours. You can both pass, or both fail. Your destinies are intertwined.’”

I gave a half laugh. “How you must have loved that. Being told I’m your destiny whether you like it or not.”

“Then she asked if I would marry you, and I thought at first she was making a joke. But she had the same look in her eyes as she had when she ordered me to execute Goran. Utterly serious. So I said yes.”

“So marriage to me is like an execution.”

“Better than an execution, I hope.” He grinned and waited, but when I didn’t smile back he added, “It was unexpected. And I know you didn’t expect it, either.”

“No.”

We were silent for a long time. The hill leading to the school came into view and he said casually, “Not that I hadn’t considered the possibility. But I didn’t think it would be so soon.”

I stumbled and Kai righted me. I turned to face him. “What?”

He didn’t quite meet my eyes. “It’s not unthinkable. The idea of us being married.”

“Not unthinkable. What a ringing endorsement.”

“I’d considered it, that’s all I’m saying. For a very distant future. After several hundred liaisons with—”

“A hundred other girls.” I flapped a hand at him. “The only reason you considered marrying me is that you’d be sitting on the throne one day.”