Fireblood (Frostblood Saga #2)(62)

“Oh.”

He nodded. “So I knew it was something… big. Something difficult that would transform me or kill me. I was nervous.”

I took a sip of water and he drank some more wine. He went to refill his glass, but I grabbed the bottle and tugged on it. “I need you to be sharp tomorrow, too. For me.”

He paused and nodded, then put his goblet down on my dressing table and sat next to me. “I entered a chamber with a flow of lava running through the center. I stood on one side and someone else stood on the other. Someone I knew.” He cleared his throat. “I soon realized that it was a childhood friend, Goran, who had… well, let’s just say his weakness for gambling had led him to some activities that were rather… left of the law.”

“He was a criminal.”

“A thief, among other things. Tried and convicted several months prior. My other friends and I had mourned his foolishness in getting caught, and we’d drunk a toast to the memory of past exploits and moved on. Though we’d been close as children, I hadn’t thought about him anymore at all, really. He’d left school a year prior and fallen in with a crowd of petty thieves and wastrels. It was his own fault, I figured. I no longer concerned myself over him.”

“What did you have to do?”

Kai paused, then looked me straight in the eye. “The queen ordered me to execute him. Immediately.”

My breath caught. “Just like that?”

“His life was to be sacrificed for the greater purpose of testing one of her precious masters. What more glorious way to die? She actually said that.”

Anger made my lips tighten. “She’s as bad as King Rasmus.”

“No, no,” he protested a little too quickly, “she was merely carrying out tradition. Master Dallr explained it all to me afterward. The final trial is about sacrificing something for the queen, showing that you choose loyalty to her over all others. The masters are the protection and the strength of Sudesia, et cetera. I understand it.”

I suddenly felt very foreign, as if I would never comprehend Sudesian ways of thinking any more than I’d understood Tempesian ways. “What did you do?”

“Well, if I’d had the ability to manipulate lava as the queen does, I’d probably have used it. Much faster that way.”

“She does?” I asked, blinking a little.

He spread his hands. “It’s the mark of the royal family. Since I don’t have that ability, I used my fire.”

He paused, staring at the floor. I had an urge to take one of his hands and rub the back until his fingers unclenched.

“But then Goran screamed,” he continued softly, “and the sound tore at me. He never had a very strong gift, and consequently, he had a weak resistance to heat. Enough fire to gain entry to school, yes, but it was obvious after a couple of years that he wasn’t progressing. But without the designation of master, he couldn’t claim his title or the rule of his parents’ island. I think in retrospect his disappointment led him to his… other activities.” He shrugged as if it didn’t matter, but it was obvious to me that it did.

“So Goran didn’t defend himself?” I asked.

“Well… he was chained.”

I swallowed my disgust, though it was directed at the queen far more than at Kai. “Go on.”

“I attacked him again. Again, he screamed. And then”—he inhaled sharply through his nose—“he started to beg. He told me his mother was ill—I don’t know if it was true. But Marta had been kind to me after my own mother died. Goran said she depended on him and that’s why he’d turned to thieving. He babbled on, rehashing memories of our childhood together: the time we’d stolen a fishing boat and been caught in a storm when we were twelve.” His lips curved gently. “The boom had swung and knocked me out cold. Only Goran’s proficiency with boats had saved us. He took me home before anyone knew I was gone, so I was fine. Yet he had taken a beating when he’d arrived home later. His father was not an understanding man. I’d made it home free and he’d…” He sucked in a breath. “Well, it worked. Every word stabbed at my heart. He’d been my close friend once and I couldn’t hurt him any more. I just couldn’t. I decided then that I didn’t care about the test. Not enough to kill my old friend.”

“So that’s why you failed?”

“That’s why, yes.” He turned to me and I sensed his need for understanding, the need to tell this story. It was unusual for Kai to be serious, to show vulnerability. He might be comfortable with many emotions, but he’d never shown the softer part of himself, his secret shame, as he’d called it. It was a gift I didn’t treat lightly.

He went on. “The queen warned me then that there are consequences to disobeying her command. She advised me to rethink my obstinacy and carry out her order. I refused. Three times she asked me to reconsider and I refused.”

He lifted his empty goblet and splashed more wine into it. I didn’t stop him this time.

“You see, I come from an old family, generations of Fireblood masters who ruled the same group of islands. We’ve been unwavering supporters of the Sudesian monarchy. There was no doubt that I would pass the trials, especially the test of obedience. When I passed my second trial, my father held a celebration that night, all our neighbors and nobles from the surrounding isles in attendance, including several princesses he would have been pleased to see me court. He was so convinced of my success; he gave me his ring that night.” He held up his hand, displaying the ruby ring he’d lent me as proof of his Sudesian ancestry. “The ring worn by all Sudesian princes or princesses, even though I wouldn’t actually rule until he was no longer able.” He gave a choking laugh, his smile at odds with his shadowed eyes. “I had tears in my eyes as he put it on me, a symbol of my ancestry, my worthiness to continue his line. I lived to please him, to make him proud. And finally, I had done it.”