Finding Kyle(59)

Her answer is to kiss me harder, growling into my mouth and pulling me into her. I slide a fraction of an inch in, and, for a moment, my heart actually stops beating as I take it all in.

Jane desperate to make our bond closer.

My need to separate from her.

The unbelievable feeling of having every single barrier between our bodies removed, even if I’m keeping one firmly in place around who I really am.

“Please,” Jane begs as she pulls slightly back from my mouth. “Fuck me, Kyle. Right now.”

I want to tell her it won’t change anything, but because I’m selfish and I want this memory of her more than anything, I give into my basic urges and fall deeply into Jane’s body.

One push.

A surging force into all that sweetness.

Totally claiming, although it could never be a permanent one.

She’s the best thing I’ve ever felt in my entire fucking life. For a second, I think I might actually have been forgiven by God for all my sins since I’ve been given the most perfect gift I’ll ever receive.





CHAPTER 25




Jane


My fists clench in hard anger as I stomp across the dewy grass of my front yard, leaving the grass of Kyle’s behind me. Just half an hour ago, Kyle and I shared something I’ve never given to another man—my unprotected body. I know it was a first for him because he told me so after we’d come down from the high of what I felt was the most euphoric lovemaking I had ever experienced in my life, and would probably never experience again. Kyle knew I was on the pill as he’d seen them in my bathroom. For some reason, despite the fact he’s held a huge part of himself in reserve from me, I trusted him not to hurt me and never had a qualm about taking him inside me without a condom.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

To think that experience would change anything with him.

I was desperate, no doubt. He said he was leaving and it was imminent. I was grasping at straws, literally grasping his dick and trying anything I could to make him understand he simply couldn’t leave me behind.

I thought for sure… just absolutely for sure, that while he was inside of me, moving so slowly and whispering words he’d never said to me before, that it would be okay. That he realized I was more important than wherever it was he felt he had to go.

I was so wrong.

As my foot hits my first front porch step with what feels like the force of a sonic boom, I can feel my anger continue to rise rather than dissipate as I put distance between us.

A half an hour ago, I’d been thrown from the summit of Mount Hopeful down into the abyss of Crushed Dreams. And Kyle was the one who threw me down there.

Stupid, stupid, stupid to have ever believed he could give me more than what he’d promised me.

I had orgasmed twice before Kyle joined me, and it was so beautiful and so deeply intimate that I felt completely fulfilled. There were several long moments that he stayed inside of me, holding me tight and running his lips along my shoulder and jaw. It was all going to be okay.

I stomp up the remaining steps of my porch and throw a viciously angry look over my shoulder at Kyle’s house, which is ablaze with lights.

He’s packing up his stuff, after all, and needs to see what he’s doing.

That’s right.

Kyle pulled out of my body and, with his semen leaking out of me, told me that he was leaving right then.

He told me I had to leave his house so he could pack.

He told me he wasn’t going to discuss it when I tried to question him.

He wouldn’t even look at me as we dressed.

And most humiliating of all was the light kiss he gave me on top of my head right before he said, “Trust me on this, Jane. This is what’s best for you.”

Stupid, stupid, stupid for ever having given an ounce of my heart to him.

That was it for me. I tore myself away from him and ran out of his house. He called after me, but I didn’t stop, because I never wanted to see him again as long as I lived.

I’m so proud of myself that not a single teardrop has fallen, and I expect that’s because I’m so mad that my body is shutting down. I angrily jam my house key in the lock and storm into my house, intent on perhaps throwing some glass items and easing my frustrations that way.

Instead, a large hand clamps over my mouth. A jolt of fear rips through me so forcefully that every bit of anger and betrayal I’d been feeling toward Kyle immediately vanishes.

A gun appears before my eyes, and my intruder says to me, “I’m going to move my hand from your mouth, but if you scream, shout, or do anything contrary to what I tell you to do, I’m going to put a bullet in your brain. Got me?”

I nod my head furiously, despite the fact I seem to be paralyzed in terror. I can’t fathom someone in my house with a gun. I have nothing of value here except… myself.

Immediately, tears fill my eyes and start to leak down my cheeks as he removes his hand from my mouth. His hand goes to my shoulder and he turns me to him. It’s dark and I can’t make out much except he’s large. I don’t know if I can fight him off, especially since he has a gun.

“Turn on that lamp,” he orders me with the gun pointed straight at my face.

I do as he requests. When the glow of light hits him, I gasp in recognition.

Steve. From the diner yesterday.

Steve, who asked for Miranda’s number.