Find Me Alastar(123)

I scratch my head and blow out a deep shameful breath. “I don’t know.” My eyes meet hers. “I’ve been trying to get myself together enough to tell you. I am back at my apartment. I’m fine.”

She chews her thumbnail as she thinks. “Are you sure it was the stolen artwork?”

I nod once. “It’s not the artwork that concerned me.”

She screws up her face. “What the hell concerned you then?”

I bite my bottom lip. I don’t even want to say this out loud. I swallow the feeling of sand in my throat. “He had photographs pinned on the wall of tombstones with the name Emmaline on them.”

Her eyes widen in total shock.

I nod sadly.

“Fuck off,” she whispers.

I shake my head.

“That’s it. We are going to the police. This guy is a f*cking weirdo.”

“You promised not to say anything,” I whisper.

“That was before I knew he was a f*cking serial killer,” she snaps.

“Shh.” I look around the restaurant to see if anyone heard her. “Keep your voice down.”

“No. I will not keep my voice down. This man is dangerous, Em. He has had you under his spell since day one.”

My eyes tear up. It’s true. He has.

“You are a f*cking idiot when it comes to him.”

My face screws up in tears of despair.

Pity fills her face. “I’m sorry.” She squeezes my hand over the table. “I didn’t mean to say that. I’m sorry, baby.”

The tears run down my face and I wipe them away angrily.

“I just…” She hesitates. “I’m just worried about you, Em. We need to go to the police tonight. I will come with you.”

“I know. I am calling them today anonymously.” I sigh.

“Why didn’t you call me?”

I shrug.

“I know why you didn’t call me,” she replies.

My hurt eyes hold hers.

“The same reason I wouldn’t call you every time I found out my ex had slept with another girl. You feel ashamed that someone you love could be like this, could treat you like this.”

My heart drops. I knew she didn’t tell me a lot back then, but I never dreamt that the shoe would ever be on the other foot.

She holds my hand in both of hers. “We will get though this. Come and stay with me for a while.”

“What about Mr. Masters?”

“He won’t be a problem.”

“Why is that?”

“Let’s just say that Mr. Masters is behaving this week.” She smirks sneakily.

My eyes widen. “You slept with him?”

“No.”

I roll my eyes.

“But we did have a talk.”

“About what?” I ask.

“About his attraction to me. He finally admitted it.”

I smile my first true smile in four days. “I’m okay, honestly. I will stay at my apartment.”

Her stare holds mine. “I know you are going to be okay, Emerson. You are a tough chick and this is just a speed bump in life.”

I smile gratefully. I needed to hear that, because in all honesty, I have never felt so weak.

“You know… men are all *s,” she mutters as she picks up her drink and sips it.

I nod sadly.

“Although serial killer dating is taking it to a whole new level of assholism.” She accentuates her point with a raised brow.

I smirk and cover my face with my hands. “Do you believe this shit?” I murmur.

She shakes her head. “No. Actually, I don’t. On the upside, you do get to come to soccer practice tonight.”

I look at her. “Oh… goody. It’s so worth it. I can’t wait.”



* * *



The week has been long, and to tell you truth, I don’t remember much of it. It’s all a blur. Meeting with the police over the stolen art and lying to their faces while I stared into space. Pretending to work while I stared into space. Pretending to be alive when I am clearly half dead, and I haven’t let on to anybody that I know who stole the art. The only thing that has brought a smile to my face was when I received a delivery and I thought that it was Alastar with an explanation. A large box was delivered. I was so excited and ripped it open, only to be disappointed when just my drawing pad and the letters from Alchron to his princess were inside. Why would he send me just those things? I want answers, not my f*cking belongings. Brielle’s trying to cheer me up and I’m going out of my mind by replaying my last conversation with Alastar.

You need to work this out for yourself.

What did he mean by that?

What would I possibly have to work out?

I didn’t go to the police. I lied to Brielle and told her I called them, but I couldn’t go through with it. I dialed their number a few times only to hang up every time they answered. I can’t send him to prison and I’m scared I am putting my life in danger by doing so.

What choice do I have? How do you turn on someone you are desperately in love with? If I knew for sure he wasn’t dangerous, I would be back in his arms and stealing the art right alongside of him in an instant.

I’m losing it, I know.

It’s Friday night and I am with my work friends at a pub in my usual zombie state. We are playing trivia and are seated in low seats surrounding an open fire. As I stare into the open flame, I can almost feel Alastar’s warm arms wrapped around me from behind, his gentle loving kisses on my face, and his hard body slotted up next to mine. For the rest of my life, I don’t think I will ever be able to sit next to a fire and not think of him and the precious time we spent together. My work friends have been a blessing this week, as if sensing my fragility. They have all been super attentive and funny. I appreciate every single moment of their time.