Find Me Alastar(102)

Alastar puts his hand in the air and I place mine into it.

“What are you thinking about, my love?” he asks as he brings my hand down to his lips and kisses my fingers.

I smile. “Nothing.” I hold my face up as he tenderly trails kisses down onto my neck. We have made love twice already tonight, but I can feel another round coming. I can’t believe he told me he loved me tonight.

Those holy words.

Intimacy has finally reached a whole new level. I felt it deeply all along, but thought it was one sided. Now that I know I wasn’t imagining it, I am not sure I can control it anymore.

I am in love with Alastar. The arrogant ass from the antique shop could not be more perfect, and for the first time in a long time I feel at peace. I roll over to face him and he smiles softly. My heart flutters. Oh, he’s just so lovely.

He looks over me, into the fire, with his arms around me as if in thought. I kiss his chest, knowing it is him who is thinking deeply.

“What are you thinking about, Twinkle?” I ask.

He smiles and kisses me gently. “Nothing much.”

I raise my eyebrows and he smiles a knowing smile.

“I’m thinking that time is so precious,” he replies softly. I smile. He’s so deep. I nod. “It is.” I watch him for a moment. I want to get to know him properly, all of him. Warts and all. “What is your favorite memory as a child?” I ask.

“Hmm.” He smiles, narrows his eyes and thinks for a moment. “Probably not worrying about the future.”

I frown. That’s a weird answer. I thought he would say riding a bike. “Do you worry about the future?” I ask.

He smirks. “Aye. I do.”

“Why?”

He shrugs. “It’s a curse, I guess.” His eyes drop to my pajamas and he fiddles with the fabric between his fingers as if processing his thoughts.

“You can’t control the future, Twinkle.”

“What if I could?” he whispers.

I kiss him gently. “You can’t.”

He nods, deep in thought.

“Is that why you like to be organized and for things to be neat and in order?” I ask gently.

His eyes stay down.

“Is it because that is one thing that you can control? That the things around you are as you want them to be.”

“I guess,” he whispers sadly.

I smile broadly. “I’m messy, Alastar.”

He smirks as his eyes meet mine. “I know.”

“I don’t like order and I don’t worry about the future. And now that I have you loving me, I feel like I couldn’t possibly ever have to worry again.” He smiles as his lips touch mine and I kiss him softly.

“Stop worrying. Everything is going to be good. We don’t want control. Surrender yourself to happiness,” I whisper.

He squeezes me tightly and I know that something I have said has somehow struck a chord with him. We lie still in the darkness as Alastar holds onto me for dear life.



* * *



I wake to the sound of purring. What in the hell is that? I frown as I look around. Fraidy is sitting on the floor next to my side of the bed, staring up at me. I go to the bathroom with him walking around my feet.

“Are you hungry, boy?” I ask in a whisper.

My eyes glance to the beautiful man sleeping in bed. His dark curly hair is splayed over his face and his olive skin is on display. He is on his back and I watch his chest rise and fall as he sleeps for a moment. If someone had told me three months ago that when I got to London, I would fall head over heels in love with an artistic photographer, I would have thought they were crazy. And yet, that is exactly what I has happened. I don’t think that moving in with Alastar this quick is the answer to my problems. We don’t even really know each other. My eyes roam up and down his perfect body, and yet… he loves me. My heart blooms with hope. I have never felt this way before or felt so connected with someone that I don’t even need to talk to them to feel close. It’s just there between us—an intimacy—this caring feeling, and I know that we do need to get to know each other. But really, it all just feels like semantics. I know him already. I love him already.

Fraidy meows up at me and I smile.

“Shh,” I whisper. “Okay, I’m coming.”

I walk downstairs to feed our annoying housemate and flick the coffee machine on. I should make breakfast today. Alastar has been waiting on me hand and foot. I feed Fraidy his biscuits and open the fridge to check out the choices. Hmm, my eyes scan through the ingredients. I pull out the drawer in the bottom of the fridge. Oh, good, bacon, mushrooms and eggs. Does he have any shallots? My eyes scan up and down. Nope. Hmm, I continue to search for a Spanish onion. I scratch my head as I think and look around the huge kitchen.

He must keep them in the cupboards. I open and close all of the cupboards. Each one filled with expensive crockery and utensils. He has the best of everything in here. Everything is top notch. Alastar O’shea you have expensive damn taste.

I finally locate an onion and set about making my Spanish Omelet. The house is quite dark. I look around, realizing I need to let some light in. Opening the kitchen and dining room blinds, I then walk out into the lounge area and pull back the expensive drapes, flicking the lights on, too. That’s better. I am on my way back into the kitchen when I notice the door down into the cellar. I frown. For some reason this doorway interests me and I turn the nob.