Final Debt (Indebted #6)(40)

“After you left, he—he changed his mind.”

Cut raised his fist. “I don’t believe you—”

“Wait!” I tucked my chin, tensing against his strike. “The drug-liquor you gave me. He’d had it, too. He said he thought he wanted me to fight and struggle, but then he decided he’d rather I participated.”

Cut paused, never dropping his fists. “Go on.”

Words tumbled in a rush, tangling with bullshit and storybooks. “I kissed him and said I would willingly submit. That I wanted him because of what you’d given me. That I found him so sexy and I wanted him so, so much.”

Filth.

Trash.

Scum.

“He didn’t need to hurt me. I participated. I happily gave him pleasure because I earned pleasure in return.”

Soap.

I desperately wanted soap to wash my mouth.

Silence fell, cloying and sticking to the cave walls. I hoped my lie wasn’t so farfetched to believe. The past few months at Hawksridge gave no hint to who Daniel truly was. He was awful, but I did understand what it would be like to be rejected from birth, told you were unwanted, stripped from human connection. Love. He’d never had unconditional love.

Was it too hard to imagine that with his guard down and happiness in his veins, he wouldn’t want togetherness rather than rape? Jethro and Kes were kind-hearted and loving—beneath the bullshit layered on them by Cut. But at least they’d had some semblance of family. Their mother had cared for them. They’d been raised in a marriage not a regime.

Daniel hadn’t been so lucky. Was that why he’d never evolved past a spoiled brat? Did he lack everything that made him human because he’d never been given tenderness and mothering? Had I gone too far by hinting in my arms he’d found sanity for a change?

“I gave him more than he asked for. I gave him affection.” My eyes narrowed with anger. “I gave him what you were never able to give.”

Cut froze. His entire body locked down as if I’d stripped back his shell and revealed a grotesque truth inside him.

Oh, my God.

Was that Cut’s issue, too?

Lacking love from his own mother?

Bonnie…how much had she warped her son?

His lips pulled back, revealing glistening teeth. “Where is he then? If you gave him a night of f*cking wonder, why wasn’t he in your bed? Why were you fleeing with Jet? Why does every word spewing from your motherf*cking mouth reek of horseshit?”

I stiffened, curling into myself for protection. “I’ve always said I would run if I got the chance. Jethro gave me that chance. As for Daniel, he left after he finished. I assumed he went to fetch you.”

My mind grabbed a new idea.

“Perhaps, he found another woman to spend the remainder of the night with. Perhaps, he got too drunk and is sleeping it off in the shade.” I kept my voice level, even though it begged to wobble with uncertainty and plead Cut not to hurt me. “I don’t know where your son is. And no matter how many times you ask me, my answer won’t change.”

Cut swiped a tired hand over his face. A tiny part of me wanted to shout so loud my admission would echo in every cave within the mine.

It was me.

Me.

I slaughtered your offspring.

I was the one who took his life before he could take mine.

And I’ll take yours before we’re through.

But I swallowed it back, letting my rage rejuvenate me.

Cut snarled, “You’re lying. Stop f*cking lying and tell me the truth.”

“I’m not lying.”

He grabbed my hair in a feral fist. “You had something to do with his disappearance. I know it. You can’t spin it away, Nila. I’ll tell you what I think happened.” Cocking his chin at Jethro, he growled, “Kite arrived and together you killed him. You plotted this and—”

“No!”

He yanked my head back. The diamonds around my neck bruised my larynx. “Tell me the truth then. Where. Is. My. Son?”

I gasped. “I didn’t do anything.”

“Liar!”

“No!” My eyes flew to Jethro. “Besides, it doesn’t matter now. Your firstborn is back from the dead. He’s your original heir. He can be again.” My injuries all flared in time with my raging heartbeat. Fighting against his hold, I did my best to cajole. “You know in your heart Daniel wasn’t fit to rule your empire. But Jethro is. You groomed him. He’s—”

“Shut up!” Cut’s palm smashed against my cheek.

Stars.

I groaned in pain; my head hanging heavily as he let me go.

Cut breathed hard, pacing away.

Trying to tilt my chin and blink through grey and black, I willed Jethro to wake. I didn’t want to be alone anymore. I didn’t want to face whatever would happen by myself.

I’m selfish.

Wake up. Please…

Jethro didn't move, slumping in his matching chair, barely breathing.

Cut continued pacing, his boots kicking up diamond dust and soil. “I don’t care if Jethro is back from the dead. You’re forgetting I wanted him hurt. He betrayed me—with you, no less. I shot him on purpose.”

“No.” I shook my head. “That’s not true.”

Cut paused, his eyebrows shooting upward.