Final Debt (Indebted #6)(118)

Today.

I swallowed hard, hating the word.

I would forever remember this day. I would forever despise this day.

The morning had been blissful. After f*cking Nila, I’d tumbled into a sleep so deep, I entered a black hole of tiredness. I didn’t wake until late lunch and only because the gnawing pain of hunger drove me to service my other needs now my brain wasn’t shredded with lethargy.

Once Nila and I had raided the kitchen for roast chicken sandwiches and crisps, Flaw found us and demanded we follow him to his newly created triage in the east wing.

There, he’d redone Nila’s soggy cast, and stitched up the tear in my side. He’d also checked my vitals, and given me antibiotics for my fever. Afterward, he’d given me strict instructions to head for a proper check-up with my doctor at the hospital and assured me he’d taken care of the injured from the ballroom and had the aftermath well in hand.

I normally didn’t give employees such trust. But Flaw was more than that now. He’d proved himself capable and loyal. If he said he had things under control, I would believe him while I focused on more important things.

Things such as healing and shedding the memories of what had happened between Cut and me. Every time I thought of my father, my heart ached with torment. Was I right to do such things? Was I wrong to regret them after everything he’d done?

I sighed, squeezing my sister’s and Nila’s hands. I couldn’t think about that.

Not here.

Not now.

Not when the very building I stood in stripped every reserve I had, poisoning me with sadness, grief, and insurmountable helplessness.

Kestrel.

Goddamn you, brother.

My eyes burned as I focused on my best friend.

Flaw had gotten his wish. I’d returned to the hospital. However, I stood in the basement of a facility dedicated to healing and keeping the injured alive, breathing in the stench of death. Above, the living still clung to hope. But down here…down here, we stood in a morgue.

A crypt where soulless bodies froze on ice, waiting for their loved ones to determine their fate. A terrible, terrible place where the lingering emotions of destroyed relatives and broken-hearted lovers said goodbye for the final time.

I don’t want to say goodbye.

Nila squeezed my hand as I swallowed back a growl, snarl, curse…sob. I didn’t know how to react. I couldn’t unscramble my thoughts from Jasmine’s or Nila’s.

In the car over here, I’d had to screech to a stop, scramble out, and sucker punch an innocent tree on the side of the road.

Jasmine.

She hadn’t told me.

After Flaw patched me up, I’d searched for Nila. I’d dealt with my hunger and sickness, all I wanted to do was return to bed and spend days hiding from others, wrapped up in the love Nila had for me.

But that was before the phone rang.

That was before Jasmine called and told me to join her at the hospital.

The motherf*cking hospital.

The same place I’d almost died and my brother…

My head bowed as I tugged my hand from Jasmine’s, squeezing the bridge of my nose.

Jasmine had received the call earlier. The one conversation no one wanted to have. She’d enlisted Vaughn’s help to take her to the hospital.

She’d gone without me.

She’d deliberately left me in the dark that my goddamn brother had f*cking died.

Jasmine’s hand landed on my elbow, her sniffs quiet but distinct as she cried. “I’m sorry, Jet. So sorry. I came to get you. Truly. I entered Nila’s quarters and watched as you slept in her arms.”

Her touch fell away; her eyes on Kes, her words directed half at him, half at me. “You looked so happy, so peaceful. After everything you’ve been through, I couldn’t. I couldn’t wake you up.”

Nila let me go, moving to Jasmine’s side and wedging herself where Vaughn kept a subtle touch on my sister’s shoulder. Nila smiled at her twin, wrapping her arm around Jasmine. “We understand. Jethro isn’t well. He needed to rest. You did the right thing—”

I turned on both of them. “The right thing? How dare you decide what’s the right thing when my f*cking brother is dead! I should’ve been here for him. I should’ve held his hand and said goodbye. I should’ve had the freedom to tell him just how much I loved him. How much he helped me. How much I appreciated his friendship even when I pushed him away.”

The pain at his passing crumpled my heart like a dirty piece of paper, screwing it into a tear-stained ball. “I should’ve been there.”

Jasmine’s skin waxed white with grief. “He was already dead, Kite. He passed when you were with Cut.” Her eyes popped wide. “Forget that. I wasn’t going to tell you. Forget—”

“What?” My spine rolled. I punched myself in the chest, seeking relief from the slowly fermenting agony. “You’re telling me while I hurt our father—while I did what I thought was right—my brother died! Is this life’s cruel joke? I stole a life. Therefore, they stole his in return!?”

I faced my brother, grabbing his ice-cold hand with mine. “Is this my fault?”

Jasmine’s wheels creaked as she rolled closer. Nila came with her, moving to my side, wrapping me in her sadness and despair.

“He was my brother too, Jet. Don’t you think I wanted to say goodbye? I would’ve given anything to be there. But we weren’t.” Her voice turned fierce. “And it isn’t your fault.”