Filthy (A Stepbrother Romance) #1(10)
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked. I looked up at him from the bed. He was shirtless, of course, his abs, and lick-worthy physique on display as always. That and his low riding sleep pants did nothing to hide the start of the V muscle. I forced myself to look away and noticed the grave concern that was etched into his features. I could feel his hand against my shoulder; it was gentle and warmed me where I felt I would be forever cold. I wanted to lean into his touch, but I remembered just who he was.
“There’s nothing to talk about.” My tone was bitchier than I wanted to make it, but I didn’t care. I didn’t want to talk about it.
“I get it.” He took a step back, his hands raised in the air. I almost wanted to apologize. Almost.
“I just don’t want to talk about it. It’s the past, and I don’t even know why…” I trailed off. I was on the verge of tears. I needed sleep because there was no reason for me to be this emotional over something that happened years ago.
“It’s because you miss him.” It seemed more like a confession than an answer. I didn’t really know anything about Talon’s mom. He never talked about it. Anything you ever heard was something that was sent down through the grapevine. By the time it got to you, the story had been manipulated so many times, there was just no way any part of it was still true.
“Missing him and having a dream about him that causes me pain are two very different things, and didn’t I say I didn’t want to talk about it?” I pulled the blanket up to my chest, covering my nightshirt, and the fact that I had nothing else on but a pair of undies.
“You don’t have to hide from me, Mia. I’m not going take from you when I can have anyone I want. Believe me when I say there is a line a mile long.” Cocky Talon was back in full force, smirk and assholier all in one.
“I’m not hiding anything.” My cheeks grew red, giving way to my lie. How had this changed from my father to hiding from him? After the kiss we shared earlier, I wasn’t sure we should be in the same room like we were now.
“You’re hiding a lot of things. The first being the way your dad’s death made you feel, and believe it or not I know a thing or two about death.” Talon made himself right at home by plopping down into my big brown reading chair. The moonlight shined in through the bedroom window, casting a shadow around us. It was like we were in our own personal moon-lit bubble.
“What do you know about death?” I questioned. I wasn’t sure why I was allowing him to stay in here, or why we were talking about this still. Maybe it was just because I was lonely and craving some human interaction.
Talon’s long, slim fingers beat against the arm of the chair as if he was contemplating something.
“I’m not an open person, which you know. I don’t do love, and I don’t do copious amounts of sharing because life is what you make it. When you focus too much on the shitty stuff it ruins the good in your life.” He paused, his eyes staring right into mine. I could feel the connection between us growing. I dug my fingernails into the bed sheets forcing myself to stay seated on the bed.
“Most people know that I lost my mom, but they don’t know what it did to me or how much it changed me.” He leaned his elbows on his knees and placed his head in his hands. Anguish came off of him in waves. True emotions, not the fake, masked like ones I’d seen every day exploded from within him.
“You don’t need to tell me anything, Talon,” I reassured him, knowing that sharing something so daunting couldn’t change things between us. I couldn’t let Talon into my heart without hurting myself. I needed to protect myself because there was no one to pick me up when shit went bad, and it always went bad.
Everything in life had an expiration date: milk, bread, life, and love. That’s why him telling me this changed nothing. Or at least it couldn’t.
“I do need to tell you,” he urged on, his face was hidden in the shadows. I wanted to get up from the bed and wrap my arms around him but stopped myself.
Don’t get attached. Don’t fall in love. Don’t give into his past.
“Talon, I don’t want to know. I can’t know,” I confessed. I had to because I was scared to let anything happen between us. I had to fight it because if I didn’t I would end up hurt. Heartache never sat well when you still had to be around them for years afterwards.
He ran a hand through his dark hair before pulling his face from the shadows. In his eyes I could see a thunderstorm brewing, the start of lightning and thunder on the horizon. I knew he deserved to share this story with the girl that mattered more than I did, or more than I ever could.
“You should know though, because then you’ll get why I am the * I am. Why I use and abuse, and why I refuse to care.” I could feel fear in the words he spoke. I knew what I was about to do would sever everything that had already formed between us, but I couldn’t let this keep going on.
“Get out, Talon. Leave this room and go on with your night. I don’t care to know why you hate everyone or why you want to use me. I just don’t,” I yelled, getting up from the bed and opening the bedroom door.
My stomach flipped and nausea rose in my throat. My eyes felt heavy and my chest ached as I watched shock cover his face. Then his eyes went flat and his jaw was clenched, and I could tell there was something he wanted to say to me but knew he wouldn’t. Talon didn’t give you chances. He eyed me up from the tips of my toes to the top of my head as he got up from the chair stopping right in front of me.