Fighting Silence (On the Ropes #1)(10)

“Oh, I wouldn’t know about Helen.”

“Liar,” I accused, and his smile grew.

“Hey, you know what I bet would make you feel better?”

“Switching high schools?” I snarked over my shoulder as I walked back to the cushions on the floor.

“Nope. Scratching my head.”

“Why does your head itch? You got lice?”

“What? No!” he yelled defensively. “That’s like some little kid shit, isn’t it?”

“Mostly, but anyone can get it. Besides, how old are Flint and Quarry now anyway? They could have brought it home from school.”

“Six and eleven, but we don’t share a room or anything anymore.” He was blinking a lot and I could tell he was starting to worry.

“Till, just ’cause you sleep on the couch doesn’t mean they couldn’t have left it there for you. Come on. Sit down and I’ll check. Crystal had lice when we were in fifth grade. She was miserable.” I paused as an idea hit me. “Hey! If you really have lice, can you give it to Daniel and Crystal before getting rid of it?”

“Sure. I’d be happy to! How do I give it to them?” he asked, so genuinely interested that I couldn’t help but smile.

“Just rub your head on them or something. Maybe lend Bennett one of your beanies,” I joked, but Till stood there for a minute studying me.

“Sorry,” was all he said before diving at me.

He caught me completely off guard, and I toppled over backwards. Before I even had a chance to react, he had my arms pinned and was straddling my hips.

“What the hell!” I yelled as he began rubbing the top of his head against mine. He was thorough too, twisting his head from side to side to touch every inch of mine.

“There,” he said before finally moving off me. “Since this whole lice thing was your idea, I figured we should really experience it together.” A slow grin slid across his mouth. Obviously, he was proud of his thought process.

“Have you lost your freaking mind? Why would you try to give me lice? It wasn’t my idea! You have an itchy head, so I simply asked if you had lice. That’s it!”

“Well, shit, Doodle. I didn’t realize you would be this ungrateful. I was just trying to be a good friend so we could lean on each other for support during a difficult time.” He winked.

Like, actually winked. I probably had bugs crawling in my hair, and Till was winking.

That one moment probably summed up our relationship better than anything else. Till always made things hard for me, but in some strange way, he always made them infinitely better as well.

Case in point.

Harder: For twenty minutes, Till lay with his head in my lap as I nervously inspected his hair to see if we had lice. We didn’t.

Better: For two hours after that, he lay with his head in my lap laughing and holding my sketchpad against his chest as I drew Crystal and Daniel voodoo dolls. I scratched his head with one hand, and he pointed out additional flaws I should add to our Juliette and her Romeo.

Occasionally, Till would go one step further and pull out a best: Just as I looked down to ask a question, I met his hazel eyes staring up at me. He didn’t look away or become awkward after being caught. Instead, a warm smile lifted the corner of his mouth. His eyes weren’t burning with desire the way I’m sure mine were, instead they were deep and content.

Yeah.

The absolute best.

When the intensity of our stare became too much, I cleared my throat and asked, “What time are social services coming tomorrow? You should probably go home.”

“Eleven.” He glanced at his watch. “You want to stay here with me tonight? I don’t feel like going back there. I need to get up early and clean that hell hole before they get there, though. She threatened to take Flint and Quarry last time if things weren’t better.”

“Crap.” I breathed.

“It’ll be okay. Flint’s done a lot the past week. Mom’s leaving to have Tammy do her nails in the morning, so I’m gonna try to make it at least look decent while she’s gone. She might not give a damn, but I do. I just can’t deal with her shit tonight.” He tried so hard to play it off as no big deal, but as he lifted his hand to toy with his bottom lip, I knew he was bothered.

“Okay. I’ll stay.” I said simply before settling next to him. My parents weren’t going to worry if I didn’t come home, but I’d worry about Till waking up in time if I left. “You know if you ever need . . .” He interrupted me before I could offer any assistance.

“Night, Doodle.” He rolled away, halting all further conversation.

Eventually, I fell asleep. We weren’t cuddled up next to each other the way I would have preferred the first time we ever slept together, but after a terrible night, I still fell asleep with cheeks that were sore from smiling.

Even at seventeen I knew I loved Till Page, but I didn’t have grand dreams of how perfect our lives would be together. Maybe it was because I didn’t want to set myself up for disappointment. But I think it was more because I didn’t want to face the fact that there was a future at all—one that may or may not have included him. I just wanted to live with Till in the present where there was no pressure to pretend to be anyone else. A present where I kept his stomach full of canned foods, and he kept me warm and needed. I scratched his head, and he healed my heart.