Fighting Shadows (On the Ropes #2)(11)

Damn it, I’m such a prick.

“It’s not just you, Eliza. I mean, that’s part of it, but . . . f*ck. I’m drowning. Everyone’s so happy. Till’s running the gym with Slate now. Quarry’s destroying the amateur boxing circuit. And I’m . . . sitting in the stands, watching.”

Releasing my hand, she inched even closer. Palming each side of my face, she said, “You’re not sitting in the stands, Flint. You’re just adjusting. You’ll be back in the ring in no time.”

“Don’t,” I whispered. “We both know I’ll never be back inside that ring.”

She shook her head in disagreement, but she didn’t say the lie out loud. “God, you’ve had a hell of a year. You can’t possibly expect—”

I interrupted what was sure to be a pep talk. “Let’s just be real here.”

She sighed then rested her elbows on my useless thighs. “Maybe you’re right. As much as it’s gonna kill me, your moving out and starting your own life might not be the worst thing to happen. You always were a nerd,” she teased through tears. “College will be great.”

God, she was amazing. And for that reason alone, I blurted, “You were right too. I am saying goodbye.”

Her whole body tensed. I hated witnessing the verbal slap I had just issued, but if there was ever a woman who deserved the truth, it was her.

“I need a fresh start, and I can’t do that here. I need to figure out my life now that this is my new reality,” I told her. I could tell she assumed I was talking about being paralyzed, and I can’t say that she was wrong. Although she wasn’t right, either. So much of my life had been caught up in her. I wasn’t quite sure how to move forward.

I was about to try though.

“I know you do.” She sniffled, pushing herself off her knees. “Okay. No more crying. This is a good thing for you.” She sucked in a deep breath and used the backs of her hands to wipe the tears away.

Then her shoulders squared.

Fuck.

“I’m gonna need you to take that check from your brother,” she told me sternly.

“I can’t do that. Till made his own way in life. I’m a grown-ass man now. I want to do the same.”

“You might be a ‘grown-ass man’”—she tossed me a pair of air quotes—“but you’re still his little brother. Flint, he sat in silence for years to be able to earn enough money to write you that check.”

“I’m sorry—”

“Shut up and listen to me.”

I rolled my eyes, but she didn’t seem to care.

“When Till initially went deaf, he gave me three excuses as to why he needed to continue boxing instead of getting the cochlear implant: to buy me a home.” She waved her arms around the room. “To pay for the best specialist for Quarry.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “And lastly, to be able to pay for your college. He always brags to anyone who will listen about how smart you are. He adores the fact that you actually enjoy school, and he wanted to be able to give you that. He doesn’t want you to have to bust your ass the way he did.”

“I can’t take his money,” I repeated.

“You have to. And if you want me to let this go and keep my mouth shut about the real reason you’re leaving, then you will take that check and drive off in that van he bought for you months ago.”

“I’m not taking the minivan. It’s ridiculous.”

“It really is.” She laughed before getting serious again. “But you’re gonna take it. And that check too. If you’re planning to disappear for a while, at least give us both the peace of mind that you aren’t struggling.”

“I don’t want—”

“Here you go,” Till announced, walking back into the room. “I wasn’t sure how much the dorms are. I tried to look it up, but I swear it just confused me more. Anyway, I think this should cover that and tuition. Let me know if you need more. I’ll get a stipend set up for you next week.” He extended the check in my direction.

I immediately backed away. “Listen—” I started, but Eliza cleared her throat, catching my attention.

“Take it,” she mouthed behind his back.

Till was absolutely not paying for my college, but I could take his check to keep the peace. Cashing it would be a different story.

I took it from his hands. “Thanks. I really appreciate it.” I flashed my gaze back to Eliza, who continued our secret conversation.

“And,” she mouthed.

Shaking my head, I looked back at Till. “And can I have the keys to the van?” I mumbled.

His eyes lit, and a huge smile grew on his face. “She must have some serious dirt on you if you agreed to take the money and the van. Jesus, that woman is good.” He let out a loud laugh, looking over his shoulder at Eliza, who innocently shrugged.

“That she is,” I confirmed.

“Come on. I’ll show you all the stuff I had added to it. The hand pedals are super easy to use. Let me grab the keys and I’ll meet you out there.” He squeezed my shoulder and walked toward the garage.

I started after him, but just before I made it to the door, Eliza stopped me.

“Hey, Flint.”

I turned to face her.