Fifty Fifty (Detective Harriet Blue #2)(78)

‘We’re not partners,’ Regan said.





Chapter 123


IF I HAD to make the decision, I wanted it to be quick. Not two-pushes quick, but one-push quick, something I could do before I thought too much about the pain that was coming. Everything I would lose. The phone beeped. In my hand, I knew, the phone number for the bomb at my throat was listed on the screen, called up from the ‘Last dialled’ list. All I had to do was confirm the call. Send the electrical impulse through the machine, up to a tower, back to the receiver in the bottle at my throat. The people around me were watching, their jaws set, hands covering trembling mouths. My victims, if I wanted it so, if I deemed their lives less important than mine.

The strange thing was, I could see it. I could see me making the decision to save myself. No one is a hero in situations like this. The brain is trained to preserve the body, and as I sat there it was flooded with all the rage I needed to resist the temptation to take my own life in place of theirs. These were people who ignored the helpless in their midst, the man on the edge of their town who lived as though in exile. These were people who refused to believe that a predator walked among them, who ignored or misunderstood a desperate girl when she tried to confide in them. Nothing stays secret in places like these. In small towns, secrets are shared about, held close to hearts. This was a family. They protected their own, no matter how bad the blood.

Bella wanted to make a mark. To be remembered, the way Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris were remembered after the Columbine shooting, monsters on a rampage, cutting through young lives like butter. The way Seung-Hui Cho was remembered by every student who walked onto the Virginia Tech campus. If only one person ever remembered what Elliot Rodger did and altered their behaviour because of it, he’d have been happy with that. Bella had said that the time for talking was over. I would be her manifesto.

‘I can’t do it,’ I said. Kash was at the edge of the stage now, mere metres from me. If he came any closer, he’d be in my blast zone. ‘I have to push the button, Elliott. I have to.’

‘Really?’ Bella sneered. ‘You’re really going to die for these idiots?’ She looked at Kash, incredulous. ‘She can’t be serious.’

‘Harry,’ Kash said. ‘Just wait. Wait.’

‘The bomb might be anywhere,’ I told him. ‘It might be under Mary Skinner’s house. She’s in there now with those kids. It might be out there,’ I looked at the people beyond the windows, huddled together, just as Bella had known they would. ‘I can’t. I can’t risk it.’

‘You don’t even know these people,’ Bella murmured, her eyes pleading with me. Begging me to prove her right. To prove that, like the people of Last Chance, I was only out to protect myself. ‘Think about everything you have to lose. Think about your brother.’ There was a smile dancing at the corners of her mouth. This was what she had wanted. A hero laid bare before the undeserving mob. Surely I’d save myself. Surely I was selfish, just like the rest of them.

‘I have a lot to lose.’ I nodded at the girl who would be my killer. I thought about Sam and the tears threatened. ‘But I didn’t take this job to protect myself.’

It was the only way I could think to say it. That being a police officer was the one thing about myself that I thought was worthy. From the moment I’d been born, I’d been a problem. An inconvenience. A failure. A burden to be shifted from place to place, only for as long as I avoided causing unacceptable levels of trouble. When I became a cop that feeling went away. Being a cop was my purpose, my penance.

‘I’m sorry,’ I told Kash.

I pushed the button a second time and heard the phone beep.





Chapter 124


‘YOU … YOU’RE NOT partners?’ Whitt said. He could hardly talk. The words seemed stuck on the tip of his tongue. The gun in his hand was trembling as excitement coursed through him. A strange, electric joy he knew he had to contain. ‘You framed him. You framed Sam Blue.’

‘Yes.’ Regan nodded, his hands out by his sides, bracing. It seemed he was ready to take the bullet Whitt was threatening him with. ‘I framed him. Sam is innocent.’

Why? Whitt wanted to cry out. But no, he could get the story later. ‘Put your hands on your head. You’re coming with me.’ Right now, Whitt needed to take this man into custody.

He couldn’t believe he’d finally stumbled onto the solution to it all. Here, right before him, stood Sam’s freedom. Harry’s redemption. Justice for Tox. Whitt felt giddy, off balance. He steeled himself. This was it. He was going to end it all. Save everyone.

‘Put your hands on your head,’ he repeated, stepping forwards.

Regan had been waiting for the approach. He reached up, and in a movement so fast that Whitt barely followed it, he lifted the loop of the rope hanging by his side off of a hook on the wall.

Whitt heard a whizzing noise above him. The clunk of the kayak smashing the top of his skull was almost drowned out by the sound of the gun going off in his hand.





Chapter 125


THE SOUND OF the beep seemed to echo, to stretch on forever. I found my eyes were squeezed shut, my lips drawn back and teeth bared. I listened for the whump sound, expecting pain. But all I heard was the thumping of my heartbeat in my ears, the cracking of my teeth as they ground together. I opened my eyes. A long, low howl escaped my lips as the air rushed out of my lungs. Relief and terror intermingled in one hard, hot knot in my stomach.