Fearless (Broken Love, #5)(75)

I knocked on Di’s door and waited until she yanked the door open. “This isn’t that kind of party,” she greeted. I scrubbed my hand down my face, still unused to her snarkiness twenty-four seven.

“I want to talk to you.”

“Why?”

I shoved my way inside and slammed the door close. “Because I said so. Come on.” I gestured to the bed and took a seat in the chair directly across from it. I had to turn my glare on full force to get her to obey. She huffed and sat on the bed but not before shooting me a hateful look. I decided to start with that. “Do you hate me for what I did?”

Her eyebrow raised and she said, “Why would you care? That’s not like you.”

“It matters because I need to know if I can trust you. Lake considers you a friend and so does Keenan. Will your mother make you forget that?”

She looked wary now and dropped her arms she had crossed. “I wouldn’t hurt them, and I don’t hate you—heavily irritated maybe, but I don’t hate you.”

“Your mother is not who you hoped she might be. I knew her growing up. She’s cold and calculating. She won’t love you, but she will sacrifice you first chance she gets.”

“But I’m her daughter.”

“You were Mario’s daughter, and he sold you to how many men?”

She stood up with her fists clenched and snarled. “Fuck you.”

And just like with Lake, I was fucking this up. This is why Dash handled what needed rationalizing. He had a gentler approach that I attempted to channel now.

“I’m sorry.”

It was the first apology of the night. It seemed like I would be adopting them a lot before the night finally ended.

“It doesn’t matter,” she said. Her shoulders slumped in defeat. “I guess I’ll never know for myself because she’s gone again.”

I considered my next words carefully. “I know you’re curious about your mother, but she’ll hurt you, Di, and I can promise it will hurt much worse than when you didn’t know her.”

“I already told you,” she laughed dryly. “It doesn’t matter anymore. Can you go please?” I sat there for another minute, but she wouldn’t meet my gaze. She appeared lost as she fixated on a spot on the wall. I reluctantly left the room and crossed the hall to enter my own. The room was completely dark as I shed my shirt and searched out Lake through the darkness. She sat against the headboard with her knees to her chest.

“Hey,” she greeted softly,

“You waited.” I flicked on the lamp by the bed and her eyes immediately found my bare chest and traveled down to where I was unbuckling my belt. I heard her suck in a breath and hid the grin that pulled at my lips. I needed to remain serious for this.

“You told me to.”

“I did, but I think you and I both know following directions is no longer something you can do.”

“I don’t want to fight with you,” she whispered, and I saw what she refused to show down the street with the police. I didn’t want to scare her, and the slight shiver that wracked her body told me I did exactly that.

“Then what do you want?”

“What do you mean?”

“You keep running away from me every time we have a problem. I’m not… going… to hurt you,” I gritted.

“Maybe not.” She looked away, and I didn’t like that shit. “But I’m starting to think we can’t trust each other.”

My heart skipped a beat and then began a pounding rhythm that created an ache in my chest.

“You don’t trust me?”

“I—” She started to answer, but then her shoulders slumped. “I don’t know.”

I couldn’t rely on my legs to hold me up anymore, so I shed my jeans and positioned myself against the headboard beside her. “You’ve been lying to me for almost a year.”

“You lied to me for five,” she defended before I could finish.

“My point is, I still trust you more than anyone.”

She replied, “I don’t know what I feel, Keiran. I’m pissed at you for manipulating me and causing my best friend to leave, but I can’t deny this last month has been hell. I don’t think I can be without you.”

“I know I couldn’t let you. You may see it as controlling and maybe it is, but it’s what you do to me.” She shook her head and turned her body to face me, giving me a full view of how serious she was about her next words.

“You make me feel things I’m not always proud of either, but it doesn’t excuse the decisions we make. I don’t want you to ever manipulate my life like that. We have to do what’s right for each other. Together,” she added.

“As you wish,” I answered and grinned when she flinched with surprise.

“You’ve been watching Princess Bride,” she accused.

“I’ve been living with a four-year-old for the last month so I could be close to you. Kennedy convinced me to do a lot of things I’m not proud of.”

“You know she practically owns your ass, right?”

I snorted. “Keenan’s got it worse. He let her put Sheldon’s lip gloss on him.”

“No way!” She doubled over and clenched her stomach as she laughed. “She has totally turned you into pussies!”