Fear For Me: A Novel of the Bayou Butcher(59)

He slid out of her, and she hated that. She wanted to stay a part of him, but he was already sliding to the side of her body, cradling her. Anthony kept his fingers entwined with her right hand. “I missed you.” His stark confession came as the sunlight poured through the blinds and fell on their bodies.

“You didn’t have to stay away.” Her words were a whisper. Her throat felt parched, as if she’d been screaming.

Had she? For the sake of any folks rooming close by, she hoped not.

“How do you know I did?”

His question had her brows pulling together. “Of course you stayed away. You left and—”

“Sometimes, I just needed to see you.” He brought her hand to his lips. Kissed her palm. “Sometimes it was too hard to let you go.”

The shock must have showed in her eyes.

“I told you,” he said, giving a slow, almost sad shake of his head. “Obsession. It’s dangerous.”

He rolled away and went to the bathroom.

The chill came back on her skin. What had she thought would happen once they had sex again?

I hadn’t been thinking.

She’d just wanted to stop feeling. She’d known sex with him would give her that delicious oblivion she needed.

Her hand fumbled and yanked the covers over her naked body just as the bathroom door opened again.

Silently, he came toward her and lifted the covers she’d just so desperately tried to arrange. He slid in bed next to her and pulled her close. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“You didn’t.” Were they talking about the sex or the past?

“Sometimes it’s too easy to hurt the ones who get close to you. No one has ever gotten as close to me as you.” He studied her carefully. “Did I hurt you?”

“No.” Not if they were talking about the sex.

His gaze seemed to look past her. “A few months ago, when I was working the Valentine case down in New Orleans, that bastard managed to get the drop on me.”

Her fingers clenched the covers.

“I was searching for him in the woods. There’d been an explosion at the scene a few minutes before. I was hurt, but not badly enough to stop the hunt.”

She knew he never stopped a hunt if he could help it.

“The bastard hit me from behind. When I woke up, I was tied to a chair, and there was a bomb strapped to my chest.”

The heat that had just filled her cheeks cooled instantly. She’d heard he was involved in an explosion while apprehending Valentine, but the bomb had been strapped to his chest? Dear God.

“I knew how much time I had. Valentine made sure of it. The guy f*cking hated me. I’d kept his fiancée hidden from him, for years, and he wanted me to suffer.” He ran a hand through his hair. “So I suffered.”

She should say something comforting, but she couldn’t speak past the heavy fear in her throat.

Strapped to his chest.

“After awhile, it wasn’t about hours of survival. It was about minutes. I was in the middle of nowhere, and I didn’t expect a rescue.” His gaze turned back to her. He paused a beat. “Did you?”

Yes. She’d expected him to find her, too late.

“When you lose hope, you think about the things that mattered. In those last few moments, all I could do was remember.”

In those last moments when she’d been so sure that Walker was going to kill her, she’d remembered, too.

Anthony.

“You were the woman in my mind. The woman I would die thinking about—wishing I’d been able to see you one more time.”

She swallowed down the hard ball of fear.

“I thought about the things I could have done differently, what I should have done.”

Lauren pushed back her hair. Her fingers wanted to shake.

“Once I got back here to you, everything just went to hell once more.” His hands had fisted. “I want to be with you, but the last thing I ever want is for you to hurt.”

“You’re not the threat to me.” He had to see that.

His gaze raked over her body. “You were attacked. You’ve got bruises on you, stitches, a concussion, and I still want to f*ck you until you can’t move.”

Her breath caught.

“Trust me”—his words were little more than an angry growl—“I’m a threat, and I’m doing my damn best to keep my control.”

The control she’d wanted to see shatter.

The phone rang, breaking the stark silence that had fallen between them. Anthony turned away to answer the call.

Lauren tried to breathe.

“What?” Anthony barked. The shock in his voice had her head jerking up. “You’re sure? Shit. Right. Yeah, I’ll be right there.”

His hand clenched around the phone as he whirled to face her.

Not again. She understood what those deep lines on his face had to mean. “Walker.”

A grim nod. “Judge Hamilton’s missing. The guy ditched the guards on him—he’s gone.”



Paul met Anthony and Lauren at Hamilton’s home. The detective was waiting outside on the wide, wraparound porch. When he saw them arrive, he waved them over.

Anthony slanted a worried glance Lauren’s way. He should have kept his hands off her. Denying her anything, though, was beyond him. She’d looked at him, with tears gleaming in her big, blue eyes, and he’d been a goner.