Fantasy of Fire (The Tainted Accords #3)(61)
He closes the distance between us, a groan escaping him just before we touch. I focus on the kiss, wondering if he’s enjoying himself. I want him to enjoy this. His hips start moving beneath mine. I push myself closer, winding my hands around his neck. He likes it—he groans again. He nibbles my top lip. The slight pain startles me; simultaneously, fire rushes through me.
He smiles against my lips and I smile back, happy beyond words to be in his arms. He runs a hand underneath my tunic.
“I need to,” he talks into my mouth.
“Need to what?” I sigh. He grips my lower back with one hand and takes ahold of one of my breasts. I arch into his hand, feeling an even deeper pleasure than his kiss. We rock against each other. I’m out of control, my embarrassment vanished.
He leans his head into the crook of my neck and stills my hips with firm hands.
“No,” he mutters.
I try to push forward, but he holds me in place with an iron grip.
“Stop, Lina. This isn’t how it’s meant to happen.”
I frown at his words, cheeks heating, but stay in place on top of him. I try to interpret his pained expression. “I didn’t come here tonight to take you to bed,” he says.
My face falls. Did I force that on him again? I drop my gaze and try to climb off his lap. The iron grip doesn’t abate. “No. Let me explain,” he demands, then softens his tone. “Fuck.” He closes his eyes briefly.
I stop struggling to get off him and stare as he continues, flustered.
“It’s all new to you, and last time we jumped into it before you were ready.” He stops talking and fixes his penetrating eyes on me. I stare back, trying to decide if I’m more interested or more worried about how serious he sounds.
I decide I’m worried. “Jovan, this thing—,” I start.
His eyes darken and silences me with a hurried kiss. “I don’t want you to over-think this. Ignore what I said last night about uniting the worlds; ignore everything. It’s just … usually when a man is interested in a woman, he courts her. We missed that and I want you to have it,” he blurts. He lifts me up and deposits me on the bench next to him, quickly standing.
“I—” I feel like my eyes couldn’t get any bigger. How did his visit turn into this? And does he mean he’s going to court me? Or is it that he’s saying someone else will do it?
He frowns suddenly. “Sometimes I think I might…” He might what? He shakes his head, eyes flicking down to my lips again. I peer up at him and I see he was definitely affected by what we were doing mere minutes ago. Jovan never acts this way.
I tilt my head back fully to meet his gaze. His hands twitch at his sides, but the moment I think he’s about to lose control and grab me, he turns away in a rapid whirl.
The door smashes against the wall as he stalks out.
I blink at the open door, listening as he yells at some poor watchman down the hall.
I leap onto the bed and hug a fur to my chest, a wide grin on my face. I have no idea why the exchange with Jovan has left me so unreasonably happy. I wiggle into a comfortable position and close my eyes. I haven’t done this since Osolis, but as used to be my practice, I sit, memorizing exactly what happened. When I’m Tatum, I want to be able to remember his every word in detail.
*
I skip the council meeting the next day, sending Wrath, who still doesn’t know my true identify, with my apologies.
I sit with the delegates for my meal, hoping to get a moment with Sanjay. Fiona doesn’t appear to be very cheerful. She doesn’t know about Sanjay’s predicament, but she feels the change in her husband. She keeps huddling around her growing belly, darting looks at Sanjay. Fiona will be creating her own theories as to why her husband is avoiding her. No doubt, she believes he’s having an affair. I hope he can soon reassure her this isn’t the case. I worry for the previously happy couple. They work so well together; Fiona tempers Sanjay’s runaway mouth. I’d hate for them to fall apart because of this. Whatever happened, Sanjay wasn’t in control of himself.
Olandon excuses himself quickly, barely touching his food. He’s oddly eager to get to the archives. He’s remained close-lipped on any progress he’s made. I don’t know what to make of it. I simultaneously want to know who my father is, or was, and am filled with nerves at the thought of finding out. Most of the time I wonder if I’m better off not knowing.
Shard, Crystal, Alzona, and Avalanche, who left to talk to the real Willow, are absent at breakfast.
Eventually, Greta drags Fiona away. I turn to Sanjay.
“I need you to speak to the king,” I whisper. It’s one last-ditch effort to get to Jovan. He’d known Sanjay his whole life. He’d trusted the red-haired man to go to Osolis as a delegate. Maybe Jovan would listen to him.
Sanjay chokes on his drink. “What?”
“He won’t listen to me. He’s completely deaf when Blaine is concerned,” I say. “I thought if he spoke to someone else who knows about Blaine, then the information might be better received.”
Sanjay sits ramrod straight on the bench. I recognize terror when I see it. “Please, Sanjay. You’re going to tell him anyway. If he doesn’t come around I’ll have to go behind his back to take Blaine down. I’d prefer to avoid that.”
*
I spend the morning putting the last of my plan into motion, speaking to the last two people who will be instrumental in bringing Blaine down: Macy and Sole. By lunch, I’m exhausted. I decide to give myself the afternoon off Tatuma duties. There’s nothing else I can do to ensure Blaine’s demise. It’s up to Rhone and my Outer Rings friends now.