Family Sins(43)

Erin glanced at Talia.

“Maybe you could take her outside on the back porch for a bit. I’ll need some warm water, and a towel and washcloth. I’ll notify the funeral home. Talia already gave me all the necessary information. This much I can do for her.”

Talia realized this was where her path with her father ended. Wherever Marshall went from here, she could not follow.

“I’ll get the bath stuff for you,” Talia said.

“I’ll help,” Bowie said. As soon as they had everything Erin needed, Bowie took her hand. “Let’s go sit in your porch swing, okay?”

She glanced at her dad and then nodded.

Bowie grabbed a cold bottle of Pepsi from the refrigerator as they passed through the kitchen.

Talia settled in the porch swing, and Bowie slid onto the seat beside her. He unscrewed the lid on the pop and handed it to her. She took a drink, and then handed the bottle back to him and leaned against his shoulder.

“Oh, Bowie,” she said softly, and then let go of everything she’d been trying to hide.

It was over, and she didn’t know how to feel, only that she couldn’t hold back the tears. They marked her relief. They stood for the joy that her father was no longer suffering, and at the same time, they were mute reminders of the years she would never get back.

Bowie set the Pepsi aside and held her. By the time the hearse from the funeral home arrived, she’d cried herself out. When they went back inside, once again Talia had to watch others take charge of her father’s body.

Mr. Monroe, the funeral director, was talking to her, but they were moving her father’s body to a gurney, and she felt like she should tell him goodbye. Instead, she got the garment bag from her father’s bedroom that held the clothing they would need to ready him for burial. She handed it over and then tuned everything out. She didn’t know how long she’d been standing there when she realized Mr. Monroe was repeating her name. She flinched. When she did, Bowie gently squeezed her shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I wasn’t...”

“It’s okay, honey. I’ll fill you in later,” Bowie said.

“We’re going to leave now,” Mr. Monroe said. “You and I have already talked about your father’s wishes. We’ll do this right for you.”

“Thank you, but remember it’s a closed casket for visitation,” Talia said.

“Yes, ma’am. We understand,” Monroe said.

Bowie heard a quiet anger in her voice as she kept talking.

“No one came to see him before. I’m not putting him on view for the curious to remark upon now.”

“Of course. I’ll call and let you know when we have him ready. You can say your goodbyes before we seal the casket.”

She swallowed past the lump in her throat.

“Yes. Thank you.”

And then they were gone, and Erin was waiting with papers for Talia to sign.

“I’ll have the company call you before they come to pick up the hospital bed. It will likely take two or three days for them to get here,” Erin said.

“Thank you,” Talia said, and threw her arms around Erin’s neck. “I couldn’t have done this without you. I will hold you in my heart forever for this.”

Now Erin was tearing up.

“It was my honor to help your father and you,” she said; then she looked at Bowie. “My sympathies to your family, but I hope you and Talia will be very happy. You both deserve to know joy.”

And then she, too, was gone.

Talia turned around. Bowie was standing between her and that empty bed. When he opened his arms, she walked into them.

Neither one of them spoke. He just held her, but he could feel her shaking.

“Do you think you could sleep? You’re still trembling,” he said.

Talia shuddered.

“I can’t quit shaking, and I don’t know why. I feel cold inside, but the room isn’t cold.”

“That’s shock. You need to get off your feet and into bed. Even if you can’t sleep, you need to rest, okay?”

She was shivering harder now.

“I feel like I could sleep for a week, but I don’t know if I can relax.”

“Let’s try,” he said, then picked her up in his arms and carried her into her bedroom. He set her down by the bed and pulled back the covers.

Talia couldn’t think what to do next.

“Take off your shoes and jeans, honey. You’ll rest better,” Bowie said, but when she tried to unbutton the waistband of her jeans her hands were shaking too much to grip.

“Here, let me help,” he said, and had her barefoot and her jeans off in moments.

She crawled in between the sheets, and when her head hit the pillow, she sighed. She closed her eyes as Bowie drew up the covers to warm her, then pulled the shades and curtains to darken the room. She needed to thank him, but she could barely focus.

“Bowie?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you for coming back. Thank you for forgiving me. Thank you for—”

Bowie sighed. She’d fallen asleep in midsentence. He glanced around the room to the easy chair near her desk, pulled it close to her bed and settled in. He sent a text to his mother, telling her Marshall was gone, and that Talia was in shock and he couldn’t get her warm. He said that he’d put her to bed and wouldn’t leave until he was sure she was okay.