FIRE (Elite Forces #2)(46)

“I'm going to bed. I'll see you both in the morning.” Even though I've been sleeping most of the day, I'm just not in the mood for small talk or pretending to be anything I don't want to be.

With my clothes still on, I slide into the same bed Kaleb and I shared the last time we were here. His pillow smells only faintly like his cologne, and I consider how twisted I am that I'm pulling it close to me to cuddle. I'm literally torturing myself here, but this doesn't even come close to cuddling with him. To feel his warm body holding me, knowing he’s safe, would be the perfect scenario. I felt safe and comforted with him, and now all I feel is worry. This is something I’ll have to get used to.

I hear my phone vibrate on the bedside table, where seconds ago I placed it, and reach for it quickly. It's a text from him.



Kaleb: I love you, Jade.



I contemplate my response while my tears swell in my eyes. Damn it. I've cried more in the past few weeks than I have in my life. My mind starts flashing through the first time I met Kaleb Maverick all the way to today. His powerful being consumed me from his first touch and never released me. I'm just so confused about all of this, and I'm not sure what I want to do with the rest of my life when it comes to him. One minute, I want to give him up; the next, I want to track his ass down. I hate feeling like I’m tangled up in a hundred different ropes, trying to loop one over the other to try to get free.

Hell, I have no idea if he's even in Mexico, Missouri, Florida, or deep in a desert in Afghanistan.

I want to reply, because I do love him. I want to be the woman he needs me to be, but I can't. Leaving me out of major plans is not an option. I'd rather be single than fear every moment of the unknown that would come with being with Kaleb. I type the four words, then erase them three times before I set my phone back on the table. He's safe. Or he wouldn't be texting. That's all I need to know.

I hug his pillow tighter and let the tears fall freely as I try to make sense of what I'm going to do tomorrow. “I love you too, Kaleb.”

I cry myself to sleep and say a silent prayer that all of the guys are safe tonight.





******


I wake to a hand covering my face and try to scream past the rag. A hand is firmly pressed against my mouth, and another one grips my throat. I panic because I’m struggling to breathe. My quick response only makes it worse, because now, this f*cker is in bed with me. I feel a hard erection press into my back and fight to free myself from his hold, but my body won't move fast enough.

Shit, my eyes go wide. I’m gliding, falling. I've been drugged.





KALEB


I had to text her. I know she was still up because Harris had just sent the text saying they had arrived at the ranch. His reply that she's already in bed only tells me she's depressed as f*ck, and that frustrates me. I'm not pissed at her, I'm mad at this whole situation. Jade and I have never had an easy day in our relationship. We’ve had a lot to deal with, but I know it'll all work out. It has to. She's the perfect person for me.

I watch my phone for ten minutes, hoping she’ll reply, but she doesn't. She saw it. I know she did. I know I pissed her off with this mission, but I originally thought we were going to Mexico. Now, we’re stuck at the compound, playing a waiting game, and I could've had her in my arms tonight, but instead she's alone. Fuck, Jade. Reply to me.



My mom and sister took the guest bedrooms in the house. It tore out that last bit of my guts to see them step off of the plane, both of them with red, puffy eyes, hurt and confusion coating their entire demeanor. My mom lost it again and began pounding me with questions I had no clue how to answer. Her two sons are fighting against each other, and both have the desire to kill the other. How the hell do you look at the woman who brought you into this world and tell her what one of her children’s lives has become? I told her the minimal. Of course, she blew up, demanding me to tell her more. I couldn’t. I may never be able to. If it wasn’t for my sister stepping in to help me calm her down, I would still be up, trying to figure out what to say to her, while listening to her heart being ripped out of her chest all over again.

Even though they're all safe tonight, I can't sleep, so I'm out on the porch, drowning in the sound of the night. My phone is in my lap, and I'm trying like hell to not f*cking wake Steele up and make him fly my ass to Alabama to see her. Goddammit, Jade.

I stretch my arms behind me and watch the sunrise from the middle of the porch. The sky is beautiful even though half the sky is being shadowed with a large storm cloud. The other side is sunlit and causing a contrasting flare to the darkness.

“You up already?” Jackson stops running as he approaches.

“No. Haven't slept yet.”

“Fuck, man. You know that's not good. You need to rest, Kaleb.”

“I know. Too much on my mind.”

“Jade or your brother?”

“Both. Hell, you take a pick.”

“Have you heard from her?”

“Yeah, Harris said they made it. She went straight to bed.”

“Damn, man. You know why she's pissed, right? You have to know her well enough to know how to fix this.”

“I will. Just need to handle some family business before I bring her into it.”