Exaltation (Insight #11)(98)
Raven screamed his name as she rounded the dirt mound the steaming cars were behind. He was laying across the ground. Dagen was there, trying to help him. Raven charged forward, pushing him aside. She pulled his head up and put it on her lap.
“Go get help! Get a doctor!” Raven screamed at Dagen. “Take him to one!” He just stared down at Raven with a pained gaze.
Raven forgot him and looked down at Rydell. She felt him move. His eyes were just barely open. Raven’s tears were raining down on him. They were coming so fast she could not see. “Don’t. Just Don’t. Don’t leave.” She kissed his lips, trying to give him the vim she knew he gave her before. She had to give it back. If he hadn’t given it to her he would’ve never felt this pain. He would’ve walked away from this.
Please, please don’t leave…Creator of all don’t take him—he’s divine and I need him.
Rydell’s hand reached for the hair around her face. His lips moved under hers but it was a weak kiss. Raven’s cascading tears rained on him as she felt how weak he was, how cold he was.
“My innocent,” he breathed.
“You’re not leaving!”
Right then he became weightless. He started to fade, and after a rush of warm air he vanished. Tiny lights, a deep purple color manifested for the briefest second before they faded.
Raven heard someone moan and stood, thinking Rydell had just moved to another spot. Dagen tried to hold Raven back but she pushed forward and found Benjamin lying on the ground.
She’d never felt hate before that moment. Not once. But she was drowning in it then. She walked over to Benjamin and knelt down. “Tell your maker the Black Widow will have her vengeance when you see him in hell.” And with that she reached into him and thought, “Pull the rope!” and she did.
Raven pulled his soul and released the massive fog of darkness into the air. A violent vibration of energy exploded around her.
Dagen had his arms around Raven in an instant and pulled her away. They emerged on the side of the track a millisecond before the cars exploded. The fireball went so high in the air Raven thought it would touch the stars.
Raven sagged in Dagen’s arms. The tears came again, along with the empty hollow feeling. She was sick, so sick. She jerked away and ran as far as she could before she fell to her knees and heaved. The explosions just kept going. The ground was shaking, and people were screaming as they ran away.
The twins were at Raven’s side. River was holding her hair back, and Ash was rubbing her back. Not one of them, not one single one of them told her not to worry, that Rydell was fine. That he would be right back. None of them said it to her. No one would say the only thing she wanted to hear.
I lost more than my boyfriend…I lost my best friend. Creator help me…
Chapter Thirty
Raven only vaguely remembered being brought home. Dagen carrying her into the kitchen, or her collapsing in Emery’s arms as the suffocating tears left her body, her father pushing Dagen against the wall demanding answers, only to thank him seconds later.
Raven climbed into her bed and held the pillow Rydell had slept on the night before against her for dear life, breathing in his scent. Seeing his image in her mind, hearing his words, reliving every moment they’d had together. Knowing that his time in her life was not over, it couldn’t be.
The days were endless and a blur at the same time.
Raven fell into a dark pit.
She missed weeks of school. She couldn’t go back. Sit in those same classrooms. Look at his empty desk, or see him everywhere she walked. She couldn’t bear it and no one made her.
Raven finished her work at home with Emery teaching her. She stopped skating. She hadn’t danced in a month. She couldn’t. She saw him when she thought to go. She saw him picking her up, dropping her off. She saw their first kiss, their second. He was a ghost she never wanted to stop haunting her.
The school mourned. The explosions had been so extreme it was just a memorial to the boys who were lost. No one really talked about the other racer. But they talked about Rydell. People Raven didn’t even know knew him stood up and told little stories, random ones which were pointless but she wanted to hear.
Raven had many silent talks with her father. Meaning he spoke and she stared forward. She didn’t want to hear about her fate, about how the path was complicated.
***
She’d decided somewhere around three in the morning she was going to skate again. She was going to fight her way back. She knew she was letting those ruthless people who plotted to bring her down win by crumbling her slowly. She was betraying Rydell’s memory because she was slowly killing the girl he knew.
It was two days before Christmas. The rink was so slow Mr. Briley told everyone he was shutting down early. It wasn’t true. He just wanted to give Raven the rink. Soren set a track of her favorite songs, along with healing songs as he called them, then moved to the auditorium.
It hurt to skate, not emotionally, but physically. Raven was out of shape. She’d lost her rhythm. It was symbolic to her life. She knew if she conquered the weakness on the rink, she could conquer it in her life.
So no matter how many times she fell on spins or tripped or fumbled, she skated on. Before long she was covered in sweat but she had found a rhythm. She even managed to skate by the spot where Rydell kissed her without feeling her chest break open.